


This So Called Life

by logans_girl2001



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: BDSM, Dom Danny "Danno" Williams, Dom/sub, F/M, Genderswap, Sub Steve McGarrett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 14:04:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 77,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17204747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/logans_girl2001/pseuds/logans_girl2001
Summary: Everything's pretty good in Detective Danni Williams' world: she's - slowly - coming to accept Hawaii as her home, has finally decided on a course of action against her ex in regards to Grace and is dating a great guy (who just so happens to be her boss) when an unexpected dose of reality threatens to turn it all upside down.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure where this came from. I've never even thought of doing a story where a character was the opposite gender from what we see in the source material but the opening scene came to me and wouldn't leave until I wrote it. In this one Danny is a cis woman.

I enter Danni's office and instantly forget why I'm there when I see what she's wearing. In the years I've known her I have rarely seen her out of what she considers her uniform for work: a pair of tailored slacks and a form-fitting button down shirt or, occasionally, a skirt that falls straight to her knees paired with either flats or a very small heel that I think she calls a kitten heel.

But today it's like my every fantasy of my girlfriend has come true. She's wearing four inch T-back stilettos that just lead the eye up her gorgeously toned legs to a mini skirt that stops no less than three inches from her knees which shows off her shapely butt to perfection. The matching blazer emphasizes her broad shoulders and reminds me that she was a gymnast in high school. She has her hair - her beautiful long blonde hair - pulled up into an intricate knot on the back of her head.

The thought of releasing all that wonderful hair from the pins she's using to keep it - mostly - contained is what I blame for the harsh way I demand "What are you wearing?"

She turns slowly to face me. "Excuse me?" Her tone is not entirely unfamiliar to me. In fact it's one I've heard at least once every day since we met.

"What. Are. You. Wearing?" I repeat much slower.

She rolls her eyes. "A skirt and heels. You've seen me in both before."

I shake my head, my gaze locked on her shapely calves, imagining her legs wrapped around my waist as I fuck her into next week. "It's been a while since you've worn a skirt. And even then you did not wear those heels with that skirt!" I step closer, catching myself before I can act on the thoughts running through my head. "I didn't even know you owed a pair of 'fuck me' heels."

She fights a smile but I can see it trying to break through. "'Fuck me' heels? Really, Steven?"

The slight laugh in her voice has me raising my eyes to meet her gaze. "What? I know what they are." I point at my chest. "Heterosexual male, here."

"Hm," she hums, then turns back to what she was doing when I entered and as she's turning away I can see a small smile. "You know perfectly well that I have court today."

"If you're going to court dressed like _this_ -" In two strides, I'm pressed up against her back. "-then I'll give you something to think about while you're on the witness stand." Trailing just the tips of my fingers up her right thigh, I smirk at the shiver my touch chases down her spine.

When I get to the top of her thigh, I run one finger along the edge of the leg opening of her panties before caressing the crotch area. "Hm," I hum in her ear when my fingers encounter the smooth silk. "You're wearing my favorite pair of panties. Are you wearing the matching bra?" With my free hand, I pull the collar of her shirt open so I can look inside. "Oooo, look, you are." I can't help but dip my hand inside to stroke one finger along the upper swell of her left breast.

She moans my name and I don't even stop the chuckle at the fact that I can reduce her to a quivering mess with just a touch. Keeping the fact that she has to be in court soon in the back of my head, I slip my fingers into her panties and tease the folds of skin. She gasps and stiffens, trying to get me to back off with a twist of her shoulders.

"Steve!"

"There's no one here, Danni, relax." I dip one finger between the folds to collect some of her fluid to spread around and help ease the way for my other fingers; fingers that I then slide slowly into her.

She moans at the stretch and tilts her hips, trying to take more of them in. The angle's all wrong but when I bend her over a little, it's enough for me to rub against that spot inside that makes her go crazy while rubbing circles on her clit with my thumb.

Her breathing quickly becomes ragged and I increase the pressure until she clenches around my hand and whimpers low in her throat in an effort to keep her cry of ecstasy behind her teeth.

I chuckle softly when she sags in my arms, her palms slapping down loudly on the surface of her desk. "Mother fucking bastard," she mutters, trembling slightly as she comes down from the high of her orgasm.

A pleased smile crosses my face at this proof that I can bring her to the point where she's using such coarse language. "I love how fucking responsive you are." I bury a kiss in her hair, wanting nothing more than to pull out all the pins and wrap the long locks around us both.

When I step back, I purposely rub my fingers against her upper thigh, smearing her fluid there as a way to remind her of what we just did. "When you get home tonight, I'll lick it off."

"You'll do more than that, Dog." She shoulders me back so she can turn around. "And you will not take care of that." She points at the bulge in my pants. "Am I clear?" She very lightly stamps one foot, a kind of signal for how I should answer her, as if her calling me 'Dog' wasn't enough.

I take a huge step back, stand at attention and dip my head once. "Yes, Mistress."

"Good. Now-" The ringing of her phone cuts off the rest of whatever she was going to say. Picking her phone up off her desk, she curses when she sees the name on the caller ID. "I gotta go." Stepping around me in order to exit her office, she taps, lightly, on my erection. "Get rid of that. It offends me."

"Yes, Mistress." I keep my eyes dutifully lowered instead of watching her sashay away.


	2. Chapter 2

The nerve of him! Touching me without permission and in the office no less. I march from the office while answering my phone. "Detective Williams." I try to keep my annoyance from my voice but doubt I'm successful.

_Detective,-"_ Kim Pho, the ADA for the trial sounds frustrated. _"-you are nearly late."_

I swallow an aggravated sigh. "I'm aware. I needed to stop by the office real quick. I'll be there in five."

_"Going to use lights and sirens aren't you?"_ her voice is thick with censure.

"Maybe," I say in a way that means 'hell yes I am'.

Kim sighs deeply. _"It would appear that Commander McGarrett is a bad influence on you."_

I can't help but grin at that. "Oh, no, Councilor, I'd say he's a perfect influence on me."

_"Yeah, whatever. Just get here!"_

Being able to fluster someone like Kim Pho makes me laugh. Especially when I make a reference to what Steve and I do behind closed doors but they don't get it.

Turns out I don't need to use lights and sirens to get to the courthouse on time. For once traffic is light and I make every green light.

I've nearly forgotten about the smear on my thigh until I start up the courthouse stairs and feel my skirt catch where it's dried. It pisses me off all over again.

"Ah, there you are, Detective. Finally!" Kim, a very petite Japanese woman, comes rushing up to me the moment the elevator doors open. "I want to go over your testimony one more time."

Standing next to Kim makes me feel huge, even though I'm not. I'm five foot five and one hundred-fifty pounds of mostly muscle from my gymnastic days, and my current exercise routine. I sit down on the bench Kim has led me to near the courtroom where the trial will take place.

"Relax, Kim. It'll go just as smoothly as the grand jury did." I check my phone but don't have any new messages or texts. I was expecting Steve to apologize again. "Besides, I caught the punk red-handed. Not sure how the defense can argue against that."

"You'd be surprised what defense lawyers can come up with." She shifts on the bench until she's sitting sideways. "You're positive you did everything by the book?"

I roll my eyes because this is a question she has asked me several times. "Yes, Kim. I had only been here a short time so was really toeing the line on arrests."

She nods. "I kind of figured but just needed to hear it."

"If you don't win this case it won't be because I didn't follow proper procedure."

"Of course, you're right but I have a feeling that's the angle the defense is going to take."

I shrug. "They can take that stance all they want. I didn't miss a damn thing. He was read his rights both before and after I took him into custody."

She furrows her brow. "You didn't tell me that."

"I did. I even wrote it in my report."

She opens her mouth to respond but before she can her associate pokes his head out of the courtroom door. "We're ready to start, Kim."

"Okay. I'll be right in." She pats my hand. "Don't be nervous. A bailiff will come get you when it's your turn." She stands and steps toward the door. "You have something to occupy your time until you're called?"

"Don't worry about me, Kim. I've testified before."

"But it's your first time in Hawai'i." I don't dignify that with anything other than a look. Luckily she gets my meaning. Giving me a huge smile she pulls open one of the solid oak doors and enters the courtroom, leaving me to sit and go over my testimony alone.

Since I haven't seen Grace for more than a few hours in a couple of weeks, I call Stan and make sure it's okay to pick her up early from school if I get out of court in time.

_"Stan Edwards,"_ he answers on the third ring.

"Stan, it's me. I'm about to go to the witness stand and was wondering if I could pick Grace up from school early if I get out of court in time."

_"It's not your weekend."_

"I'm aware. I didn't ask for the weekend." He frustrates me to no end.

_"She has to be home by six."_ I'll never understand why it's such a battle to get him to let me see my daughter for a few hours.

"Fine. Should I feed her?"

_"No. I have clients coming for dinner, that's why I need her back by six."_

"Okay. Thank you."

_"Sure."_ He hangs up without letting me say anything else.

I then text Steve that since I have the whole day off, I plan to get Grace after I'm dismissed from court and will come to his house once I've taken her back to Stan.

The door to the courtroom opens and a bailiff calls me to the stand just as my phone beeps that I have a text. With no time to check it, I stand, smooth out my skirt which brings the drying vaginal fluid to my attention again and enter the courtroom. I walk up the aisle and past the tables to the witness stand to the judge's left where I stop and face the gallery. The bailiff stands before me.

"Raise your right hand." I do as asked. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

"I do."

"Please be seated."

The bailiff steps back and Kim stands up and approaches where I'm sitting trying to ignore the pull of the linen against that small patch of skin. "Please state your full name and rank for the record."

"Sergeant Detective Daniel Michael Williams."

"What is your current job?"

"Second in command of the Hawaiian State Task Force known as Five-Oh."

"And before that?"

"Homicide detective for Honolulu PD."

"On the night in question how did you happen to be at the defendant's residence?"

"The captain wanted me to learn the area so he had me spending one shift a week on a ride-along with a uniform." I shift in my seat to cross my right leg over my left and grit my teeth at the pull. "That particular night we got a call about a domestic disturbance. The uniform I was riding with, Officer Kahale, responded that we were in route.

"When we arrived we could hear the fight between the defendant and his boyfriend. When we got to the door, Officer Kahale knocked and identified us as HPD. That's when we heard the shot.

"Kahale kicked the door in and we could see the defendant standing over a body holding a gun. All we could see at the time of the victim was his legs; his upper body was blocked by the wall leading into the hall.

"I called for back-up and Kahale ordered him to put the gun down. When he refused I shot it from his hand. I then approached and took him into custody. 

"Paramedics arrived and treated his wound; I had managed to not do any serious damage. I then cuffed him, read him his rights and put him into the back of the radio car. He started mumbling that he couldn't believe he had done it; couldn't believe he'd actually shot his boyfriend. I reminded him he has the right to remain silent but he didn't seem aware that I was even there.

"At the precinct he seemed to come back to himself so I repeated his rights when I put him in the interrogation room. I then asked him about what he said in the car but all he would say was that he wanted a lawyer."

"Did you ask him anything else?"

"Only if he was positive he wanted a lawyer. When he confirmed that he did, I left the room to inform the desk sergeant that he needed to make his one call."

Kim nods. "Thank you, Detective. No further questions, Your Honor."

"Mr. Mahlon, your witness," Judge Andrews says with a wave of his hand.

"Ms. Williams-" the defense lawyer begins and I interrupt him with "It's _Detective_ Williams." He snorts. "Of course, my apologies, _Detective_." This is not going to be pretty, at all. "Were you born a woman?"

" _Excuse me_!?"

"Your Honor!" Kim jumps to her feet so fast her chair spins away into the railing behind her.

Several of the spectators gasp and then the courtroom erupts into the sound of dozens of people murmuring to each other.

Andrews bangs his gavel and calls out "Quiet! Quiet down!" He then points his gavel at Mahlon. "Mr. Mahlon watch yourself."

He nods. "Of course. Is Daniel the name your parents gave you at birth?"

"Your Honor, please!"

"Mr. Mahlon." Judge Andrews' voice shows just how close he is to calling Mahlon into contempt.

"Just trying to figure out if she's trying to beat the system, Your Honor."

"'Beat the system'? What does that even mean?" Andrews demands.

"Well, as we all know, the police force is an old boys' club and they don't react too well to women joining them. I wouldn't put it past-"

"I swear Mahlon if the next words out of your mouth even _suggest_ that an officer of the law who is as highly decorated as Detective Williams is would change her name to by-pass what you call the 'old boys' club' then I will hold you in contempt. Now-" He shifts on his chair. "-confine your questions to the case."

Mahlon's lips thin but he doesn't argue any more with the judge. "What was your job before you came to Hawai'i?" 

"I was a homicide detective for the Newark PD."

"Uh-huh." Mahlon shuffles some papers on the table in front of him. "How long have you been in Hawai'i?"

"About two and a half years."

His head snaps up. "About? Do you not know exactly?"

I sigh and shift again when an itch starts in _that_ spot. "I arrived in Hawai'i two years, five months, three weeks and four days ago. Do you want to know the hours, minutes and seconds?"

"No need to be hostile, _Detective_." Mahlon looks at the judge. "Unless I have permission to treat her as a hostile witness, Your Honor."

"Objection." Kim shoots to her feet again.

"Sustained. The detective is merely responding to your line of questioning. I'm warning you to move on."

"These questions prove her qualifications, Your Honor."

"Your Honor, seriously? How does knowing how long she's been in Hawai'i prove her qualifications?"

"She's not from here. I'm just establishing that she has learned what she needs to know."

"Move on, Mr. Mahlon."

"Of course, Your Honor." Mahlon stands and approaches the witness stand. "How many arrests did you make in your career in Newark?"

"My entire career or just as a detective?"

"Entire career."

"Somewhere around fifty."

He walks back over to the defense table and runs his finger down a piece of paper. "According to your record, you made fifty-four arrests in your time with NPD."

I shrug. "If you say so."

"How many of those ended in the suspect being convicted?"

Kim once again jumps to her feet. "Objection, Your Honor! Relevance."

"Again, trying to confirm the detective's qualifications. This is her first time testifying in a Hawaiian court."

"Objection sustained. You've used up my patience, Mr. Mahlon."

Mahlon sighs dramatically. "Very well." He shuffles some papers. "You say you read my client his rights twice, once at the scene and once in interrogation?"

"Yes." This guy is so fucking annoying.

"Did you ask him any other questions after he requested a lawyer?"

I shift again in my seat and this time I manage to get enough friction on _that spot_ that it relieves the itch somewhat. "I asked if he was positive he wanted a lawyer." Didn't I already answer that question?

"Is there something wrong, _Detective_?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "No, why?"

"You keep shifting in your chair. Do you have an unscratchable itch?"

"Your Honor!" Kim jumps to her feet yet again and this time slaps her palms down on the table.

"That was totally inappropriate, Mr. Mahlon. Keep your questions related to the case." Judge Andrews turns to the court reporter. "Mr. Mahlon's last statement will be stricken from the record."

Mahlon frowns at the judge and doesn't acknowledge what he said, instead he continues with his questioning as if he didn't just insinuate that I'm suffering from a feminine itch. "Did you say anything to him after he said he was sure he wanted one?"

"I said fine then told the desk sergeant to let him have his one call."

"Uh-huh." Mahlon picks up a remote and points it at the TV off to the side. "I'd like to show you the recording of your first interrogation of my client." He presses a button and the TV comes on.

On the screen is the defendant, Mark Zimmer, sitting at a table in the interrogation room with his cuffed hands resting on top. I walk into the room and sit down across from him, opening a folder and looking down at the papers within. _"Mr. Zimmer,-"_ I start to ask him to repeat his confession but he interrupts me with _"Why am I at the police station? And in handcuffs?_ My head snaps up. I remember wondering if he was playing me now or earlier. Zimmer looks around the room and then down at his cuffed hands. _"What happened? Where's Anthony?"_

_"Mr. Zimmer, what's the last thing you remember?"_

_"Arguing with Anthony. But that's nothing new. We argue all the time, these days. But we always make up. Did he press charges? Is that why I'm here?"_

I look at the camera, my face clearly showing my thoughts of 'Is this guy for real?' _"Mr. Zimmer, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will, be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to legal representation. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?"_

He nods. _"I'd like to talk to a lawyer."_

I again look at the camera. _"Are you sure?"_

Again he nods. _"Yeah. Yes."_

_"Very well. Someone will be right in to assist you in making that call."_ I get up and walk out. Then the screen goes black.

Kim chuckles and stands. "Your Honor, I don't understand what Mr. Mahlon was trying to accomplish by showing that video. It seems to me all he did was confirm exactly what Detective Williams told us."

"Ms. Pho is right. Please enlighten us as to why you showed that?" The judge leans forward and rests his arms on the top of his desk.

"She didn't say anything about what she said to my client before reading him his rights again."

"She didn't have to. You only asked about after he asked for a lawyer." Judge Andrews obviously thinks Mahlon is an idiot.

"Omission on the stand is just as much perjury as outright lying."

The people in the gallery who know a bit about the law chuckle at his statement. "No it’s not, Mahlon." Andrews covers his laugh with a cough. "Apparently you didn't pay attention in class because if you had you'd know that witnesses do not need to provide any information that is not directly asked for. If you had wanted to know what Detective Williams had said to your client before reading him his rights then you should have asked." Andrews sits back in his chair. "Do you have any further questions?"

"Yes, Your Honor, I do."

"Then by all means, ask them."

The rest of my time on the stand involves me answer the same four questions regarding the scene and my investigation numerous times. Mahlon changes the wording every time he asks and after the third time a question is asked, Kim objects with "She's already answered that, Your Honor."

Andrews is obviously not a man who takes kindly to this kind of thing because after he informs Mahlon, "Question asked and answered three different times" he stops Mahlon the instant he tries to ask it again. "Ask it again and you will be spending the night in holding with your clients. Move on."

Finally, Mahlon admits defeat and says he has no further questions.

"Thank you, Detective. You're dismissed." Andrews looks at the clock on the wall. "And I see that it is nearly noon so we'll stop for lunch." He bangs his gavel on the desk. "Court is in recess for one hour."

I rub the heel of my right hand over that fucking spot on my thigh and manage to get a little bit of relief from the itch before stepping down from the witness stand. Kim catches my eye and I stop at the table where she's packing up her briefcase.

She shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't know he was that bad."

I shrug. "You think he's the first misogynistic asshat I've ever had to deal with?" 

"You're right. But still-"

"But still, nothing. He's a prick and one day he's gonna open his fat piggy mouth in the wrong judge's court and he'll get disbarred."

"'Fat piggy mouth'? Really, Danni?"

"Three older brothers. Piggy was the height of insult in our house."

"I see." She picks up her briefcase and we walk out side by side. "Care to join me for lunch before you head back to the office?"

"Thanks but no. Since I've got the day off, I've decided to get my daughter from school early and spend the afternoon being girls."

"Okay." She turns to face me, extending her right hand. "You did great on the witness stand, by the way."

I shake her hand. "Thanks. I told you there was nothing to worry about."

"Except for the older men not taking your testimony into account due to you being female."

"If they're going to dismiss what I say based on my gender then the questions from Mahlon won't matter."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." She pulls me out of the flow of traffic heading into the cafeteria. "I hate being female sometimes, ya know? Especially around men like that."

"Yeah, I know. Try being a cop. I'm just grateful my parents raised me to believe I could do anything I set my mind to."

"Me too." She starts to walk into the cafeteria. "Thanks again. Enjoy the rest of your day."

"Thanks. I'd say the same to you but you have to be cooped up in a courtroom with that jerk."

"Don't worry, I can handle him."

I smirk at her. "I'm sure you can. Call and let me know how the rest of it goes, yeah?"

Kim nods, already distracted by the selection of food. "Enjoy your weekend, Detective."

The drive to Grace's fancy private school doesn't take as long as usual (even with me stopping twice to throw up), of course I'm usually either picking her up after school or dropping her off in the morning and so am caught in the rush of other parents doing the same thing. I know I bitch about Stan intimidating me into giving him custody but a couple of good things came from it: Grace is getting a top level education, certainly better than she would get at the public school she would have gone to back in Jersey had I retained custody. And I met Steve. Even if things end with him like they did with Stan (and for the same reason) I can't find it in me to truly hate having to move to Hawai'i.

At the school, I pull smoothly into a spot in the pick-up area and get out to jog up the stairs and into the building. The school is rather new but designed to look old. The floors are all hard wood along with the paneling on the walls. It even smells like an older building; the scent of wood lingers.

In the office I'm greeted by one of the school secretaries, Agnes. "Detective Williams! There's nothing wrong, I hope?"

"Oh, no, no." I smile and shrug. "Had court this morning and since I have the whole day off when the judge released me early, I decided to spend the afternoon being a girl with Grace."

"Oh, she'll love that!" Agnes sets the papers she's holding down on the desk. "I'll just call her classroom and have her teacher send her straight up."

"She doesn't have a test this afternoon, does she? I mean, her father didn't say she did when I called to tell him I was doing this."

"Well, he would have said so, wouldn't he?"

I wouldn't put it past Stan to agree to let me have her early knowing I wouldn't be able to because she has a test. But I needn't have worried, Agnes checks the schedule and sees that we're all good to go. Grace does not have a test this afternoon, as if a teacher would schedule one on a Friday afternoon this early in the school year.

Nearly ten minutes later I hear the most important person in the world shouting my name just seconds before the breath is driven from my body by a head hitting my midsection.

I grunt with the force of her hug and return it, bending my knees to pick her up. "Hey, Monkey!"

She pulls back and stares at me wide-eyed. "Is something wrong?"

"Is something… Why would you think that, Gracie-girl?"

I set her down and steer her out of the office and toward the front exit. "Because you only pick me up early for doctor's visits and I know I don't have one today so something must be wrong!"

Part of my agreement with Stan is that I take her to all appointments and pay one hundred percent of the co-pay but we split anything insurance doesn't cover, which so far hasn't been much. "Nothing's wrong. I have the day off for court, got finished early and figured I could spend the rest of the day with my best girl."

She giggles. "Silly, Danno! I'm your only girl."

I gasp in pretend shock. "You are? I had no idea!"

We laugh and joke the rest of the way to the car. Once we're both buckled in and I've merged with traffic, Grace sighs deeply.

I glance in the rearview mirror where I can just barely see her. "What's up, Monkey?"

"I wish I could spend the weekend with you." 

It's obvious that the last weeks we've had to go without seeing each other have been just as hard on her as they have been on me. "I know, Sweetie. But we get the next three weeks together. That'll be fun, yeah?"

"I guess," she says in the most pitiful voice ever. "I just have so much more fun with you and Uncle Steve."

"I know, Baby. I know." As if I wasn't already feeling like the worst mother ever.

Grace pouts all the way to the nail salon so to cheer her I let her pick this totally wild color that doesn't exist anywhere in nature as well as get a design on her big toes. She tries to talk me into getting a color but I hold firm on clear polish; with my job polish chips much too easily and that doesn't look professional.

Once we're done getting our nails done, we head over to the hair salon next door. Grace tries to talk me into cutting my hair, she's always wanted to see it short like it was when I was in high school, but Steve likes it long (and so do I) so I distract her by suggesting she get some colored clip in extensions. The ones she chooses match her nails perfectly.

She jumps down from the stylist's chair and grabs my hand. "And now we go shopping," she informs me as if I've never indulged in feminine pursuits before.

"Shopping." I keep my voice as monotone as I can but it's not easy while fighting a smile.

"Yes, Danno! Shopping!"

I'm starting to worry a little bit that living in her father's world has spoiled her into thinking that retail therapy is the way to defeat a bad mood but then remember that I'm using that same tactic today. "Shopping." 

I've never really been what you'd call a girly-girl, despite being a gymnast. Or maybe that's why I wasn't into all the things other girls my age were. Sure I was into boys, I had a boyfriend through most of high school, but I never truly cared for shopping or doing my hair and nails and I certainly never cared how I looked.

That all changed when I met Trevor. He showed me that being female was something to celebrate, not hide. Because I _was_ hiding my femininity even though my parents made sure I knew that being female didn't make me any less capable. And really, no one had ever made me feel that way. It's just something I did; for some reason I felt undesirable to the majority of the male population.

But Grace is everything I wasn't as a child. She loves being pampered with a day of beauty and shopping. And will spend hours choosing an outfit for an outing. I have a feeling she's going to be the kind of teenage girl I secretly envied in high school: beautiful beyond belief, dressed in the latest fashions with her hair, make-up and nails perfectly done.

I could have been one of those girls but it was clear that my parents wouldn't be able to help me pay for college and since I had wanted to be a lawyer when I first entered college, I needed lots of financial assistance. But my parents also didn't want me graduating from college with any kind of debt so they pushed me to find something that would land me a full-ride. I could have, and did once I blew out my knee, gotten an academic scholarship but I enjoyed competing in gymnastics. And I was good at it too; oh, not good enough for the Olympics but good enough to have a wall full of gold medals, including from the meet where I received my career ending injury.

"What do you think, Danno?" Grace comes out of the dressing room and twirls so that the full skirt of the dress she's wearing flares out around her.

"Very cute. Is it for some special occasion?" Grace usually lets me know of anything to do with school but she's not old enough for a school dance, yet (next year when she's in sixth grade).

"Nope." She's no longer twirling in circles but is now twisting her hips back and forth to watch it swish around her knees. "It's just pretty." And that right there sums up the differences between my daughter and me: she'll buy something just 'cause it's pretty but I have to have a reason.

"You want it?" She looks at me as if I'm stupid and I chuckle. "What am I saying? Of course you want it. Do you need shoes and accessories?"

Her face lights up, I don't usually let her get more than the clothes. "Yes, please!" She claps her hands and jumps up and down.

"Okay, okay, Monkey, calm down." I turn her around and push her back toward the dressing room. "Get changed and we'll go look."

I've never seen her change so fast in all my life, but just a few minutes after I send her to change, she's exiting the dressing room and handing me the dress and its hanger. "Thank you, Danno."

"You're very welcome, Monkey." I lean down and kiss her cheek.

We manage to find the perfect pair of Mary Jane's and some cute hair bows along with a necklace and earrings set. By the time we leave the store with my wallet extremely lighter than when we entered, we only have an hour and a half before I have to take her back to Stan.

"How about a shave ice before I take you back?" I ask, pulling out of the parking lot.

She sighs and thumps her head back against the headrest. "If you _have_ to take me back…"

"Of course I do. You know that."

"But I don't want to go."

"I know, Grace. I don't want to take you but your father has primary custody. And it is his weekend."

"But he has some boring old guys coming over." Grace has just given me confirmation of what I've suspected for a while now: Stan only wanted Grace as a show piece, a means of getting his family minded clients to trust him. Heaven knows what he tells them about me.

I desperately want to ask Grace but I made the decision long ago to never use her to get information about her father and what goes on at his house so I bite my tongue and search for a different question to ask.

"But they have kids your age, right? I mean, that's why he wants you there, yes?"

She shrugs. "Sometimes they have kids; sometimes they don't."

"What happens when they don't?" I pull into what I've come to think of as my spot at this particular beach and we climb from the car.

"The wives fawn all over me." Where'd she hear a phrase like 'fawn over'?

"You don't like that?" I know we're getting dangerously close to that invisible line but something's bothering my daughter and the mama bear in me has to know what it is so I can fix it.

She looks up at me as we walk across the parking lot to Kamekona's shave ice stand. "I have to pretend you and I never see each other."

I take a deep breath and release it slowly. "I see." That stupid son of a bitch!

"I know lying's bad but Daddy said I have to. Does that make it okay?"

What to tell her? On the one hand lying's wrong no matter what but on the other she's been raised to do as she's told. "I can't answer that one, Gracie-girl."

"Why not?"

I stop walking and crouch down so that we're more on eye level. "Because it's not my place to say if what your father told you to do is wrong or not. His house, his rules. That's how it's always been."

"But I don't like that they think you're a bad mother. Because you're not! You're the best mom in the world!" She collapses into my arms, sobbing softly. 

"Oh, Monkey." I stroke her hair. "Maybe you should tell your dad how you feel." She nods against my shoulder. "Okay. Now that that's settled, how's about we get some shave ice?"

"I still don't wanna go back." She sniffs loudly in my ear causing me to smile at this proof that she's still mostly my little girl.

"I know. I don't want to take you back." I kiss her shoulder, then stand up and push her in the direction of the tables. "Go find us a place to sit. I'll be right there with our treats."

"How'zit, Cousin?" Kamekona greets me when I approach the window.

"How'zit?" The comeback comes as naturally as if I've been saying it all my life. "Two of our usuals, please."

"Two large rainbow flavored shave ices with extra pineapple flavor on one, coming right up!" He calls the instructions to his workers over his shoulder. He then turns back to me, his face sad. "Why's the _Keiki_ crying?"

"She doesn't want to go back to her dad's."

Kame shakes his head. "Why's he got custody, anyhow?"

"I did what I thought best at the time." I know it's not Kame's fault but my voice takes on a hard edge at his question.

He holds his hands up, palms out. "Easy, _Makuahine_. I meant no disrespect."

"Sorry. Sore subject."

"Fair enough." He hands over the shave ice cones. "Want me to bring over two Gracie Specials?"

I shake my head. "No thanks. Her father has dinner plans for her."

"For the keiki?"

"He has clients coming for dinner."

"Ah." He leans as far out the window as he can and glances over at where Grace is slumped at one of the tables. "Shouldn't you be at work, _Mâka'i_?"

"I had court and the judge released me early so I decided to spend the afternoon with Grace."

"Ah, a _makuahine/kaikamahine_ day."

"Yeah." The shave ice in my right hand has started to drip down the side of the cone. "I'd better get these over there before they melt." With a nod that he returns, I turn and join Grace at the table, handing her the shave ice in my left hand since it's the one with extra pineapple flavoring.

We eat our treats in silence for several minutes. I'm not usually at a loss for words but what Grace told me has the cop in me going to worse case scenarios in regards to exactly what her father has her doing when he has clients over. I don't want to believe that Stan would do that to Grace but the way she said it leaves a lot of room for interpretation.

I find that I'd rather know for sure than sit here and wonder. "Grace, I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer me truthfully. Okay? No matter what your answer is, I won't get angry at you. Okay?"

She nods. "Okay, Danno." Her trust in me is so complete it brings tears to my eyes.

I set my spoon down on a napkin and settle myself with a deep breath. "Has your father ever left you alone with any of his male clients? And by that I mean was there ever a time when it was just you and some strange man alone in a room?"

Her brows crinkle and she tilts her head. "No, Danno. The wives usually take me to my room to play tea party or dress up while Daddy and their husbands talk."

I breathe a sigh of relief. "So no one has ever touched you in a way you didn't want them to?"

Her face scrunches in anger. "Daddy would never let that happen!"

"I know, Monkey, but I had to be sure. You understand, right?"

"Daddy's right. You don't know when to turn the cop off and just be my Danno!" She jumps up from the table. "I want to go home. Now!"

And just like that, I've ruined a perfectly enjoyable afternoon.

"Grace!" I jump up and hurry after her but I can't run very fast in my heels. "Grace!"

I manage to catch up to her at the car where she's pacing an angry circle on the sidewalk. "Grace, you have to understand! I'm your mother and I needed to make sure."

"Daddy loves me just as much as you do! He would never let someone do that to me!" Tears are streaming down her beloved face.

"I know." I pick her up and set her on the trunk so we can be eye level without me having to crouch in my skirt and heels. "I'm sorry but please listen. You are listening to me, right?" She folds her arms tight across her body and turns her face away but otherwise makes no move to ignore me. "I have done my best to not use you as a spy against your father and it goes against everything within me; not just as a cop but also as your mother. When you're not with me I can't protect you. I trust your father to protect you but some of the things you said…" I huff out a breath and run one hand over my hair, smoothing down the fly-aways. "I _had_ to know. Every day I regret the decision to let you live with your father a little bit more."

"Wait-" Grace holds up one hand. "-it was _your_ decision to let Daddy have custody?" Fresh tears well in her eyes and begin to drip down her face. "Didn't you want me?" Her lower lip trembles.

"Oh, God, Grace, if you only knew how much I want you." Tears have begun running down my own cheeks. "From the moment I knew you were on the way I have loved you more than words can express. You are the single most important person in my life." I take her face in my hands and tilt it up. "I probably should have told you this already but your father and I agreed to wait."

I clear my throat and prepare to tell her about the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. "Your father did not react well when I told him I was pregnant. We'd only been dating a few months and he thought I'd done it on purpose because of his money." She snorts her opinion of that, causing me to smile. "Yeah, he didn't know me so well then. I knew that once he saw you he'd want you and since he had access to lawyers that I didn't I was afraid that I'd lose you forever. So I asked for certain things in exchange for primary custody of you." I lower my head to rest my forehead against hers. "And I have regretted it every day since. I am so sorry that you thought otherwise. If I could, I'd go back in time and fight for you."

"Daddy said you didn't want to be a mom at first and that's why he has custody; that you left for several months." I have to take my hands off her at hearing that lest I telegraph my growing anger at the man who sired her.

"Is that so?"

She nods. "Yeah. It's why the wives fawn all over me. They think my mother doesn't love me."

"Well, we know differently, don't we?'

"Yeah." She sniffs and wipes her nose on her hand. "We should prolly go, now."

"Yeah." I lift her down and assist her into the car.

The drive is silent, both of us processing what has been said this evening. I don't know where we go from here and it hurts, knowing that Grace has doubted my love for her. I really should have explained the situation to her before now. 

We're five minutes from Stan's, and nearly twenty minutes early, when traffic suddenly comes to a complete stop. I flip on the police scanner and discover that there's a nasty four car pile-up up ahead that has traffic down to one lane; one lane that both directions are having to use.

"Are you gonna help, Danno?"

I look at Grace in the rearview mirror. "I can't. I have you."

"Oh." She tries to see out the windshield without getting out of her seat. "Do you think Uncle Steve is helping?"

"I doubt it. Uncle Steve isn't a traffic cop. He's the head of Five-Oh. And Five-Oh only investigates major crimes."

"But if you didn't have me you'd help?"

"That's different. I used to be a traffic cop."

Traffic is moving slowly so I pick up my phone and dial Stan to let him know why we're running late. It goes straight to voicemail so I leave a message. "Stan. There's been a nasty accident so we're running late. I'm sorry but there's nothing I can do; we're too far into it for me to try and find a different route. I promise we'll be there just as soon as we can."

"Daddy didn't answer his phone?"

"Nope. It must be off because it went straight to voicemail."

"Hm. That's weird."

"Very."

The line of cars ahead of us begins to move and I shift into first to follow slowly behind them. Just before it's our turn, however, the cop directing traffic has me hold for the cars coming the other way.

A glance at the clock shows that it is now 5:55. I know that once we get past this snarl we'll be there in no more than five minutes but that doesn't keep me from being annoyed.

A knock on my window has me jumping and Grace giggling at my reaction. I laugh at myself when I see it's Duke. Rolling down the window I prop my elbow on the door. "How'zit, Duke?"

"How'zit, Danni, Grace?"

"Uncle Duke!" Grace unbuckles her seatbelt and climbs into my lap to shake Duke's hand.

"Is everything okay?" I turn Grace so she's sitting on my lap and let her pretend to steer the car.

"Everything's fine. I saw the Camaro and just wanted to say hi."

"Ah, okay."

"So, where are you two ladies coming from today?"

"We got our nails done then Danno bought me a pretty dress!"

"Is that right?" One thing I love about the people in Hawai'i is how easy it is to become ohana.

Grace nods her head. "You should see it!"

Duke stands up and looks over the mangled cars that are waiting for traffic to thin so they can be examined and then cleared. "Maybe some other time. It's your turn." He slaps the roof of the car twice. "You have a good night and drive safe."

"Thanks, Duke." I push Grace back into the backseat. "Buckle up, Monkey." I wait until I hear the click of her seatbelt then put the car in gear and with a wave for Duke, follow the officer's directions to get around the wrecked cars.

We pull into the drive in front of Stan's house at 6:05 on the dot. I can see Stan standing on the stoop with his arms crossed over his chest. This is not going to be pretty.

Grace and I climb from the car and I pick her up to carry her to the door. "Miss you already."

She plays with the buttons on my shirt. "Miss you more."

"You're late, Danni."

I set Grace down and with one hand on her shoulder, steer her toward the door. "There was an accident, Daddy."

Stan frowns down at her, then looks up at me. "An accident?"

"Yes. I tried to call you. Maybe if you check your messages?"

His brows lower over his nose but before he can say anything Grace says, "Yeah, but Danno says that Uncle Steve wouldn't be helping because he's not a cop like she is."

" _Uncle_ Steve?" One of Stan's eyebrows climbs his forehead.

I can tell he's about to get nasty and I can't let him do that with Grace in the room. "Grace go get washed up. Daddy's clients should be here soon."

"Yes, they should be here soon. Go on now." He shoos her in the direction of the stairs.

Grace starts to skip off but then comes back. "Can I wear my new dress, Danno?"

I had planned on keeping the dress for my house but can't say no to her. "Sure." I press the button on the key fob to unlock the car.

Stan grinds his teeth and I can tell he's eager to lay into me. I'm thankful he refuses to do so in front of Grace. She comes skipping back. "Danno bought me a really pretty dress," she says as she passes us.

"You bought her a new dress?"

I shrug. "It's really pretty."

He shakes his head and the moment she's out of earshot turns to me and says, "I can see you're spreading your legs for him again."

I have no clue where that came from but I don't let it slide; I just haul back and slap his face as hard as I can. I slap him hard enough to turn his head. My handprint blooms bright red on his left cheek. "You just lost a month of visits, bitch."

"No, Stan. I'm sorry. Please don't!"

"Should have thought of that before." He shoves on my shoulder, causing me to take a step back and shuts the door in my face.

"No! Stan, please!" I pound on the door. "Please don't take her from me again! Stan!"

After several minutes the door opens to reveal Maria, Stan's housekeeper. "Sorry, Miss Danni." She steps out and closes the door behind her. "Mr. Stan says he's going to call the cops."

I nod, unable to speak due to trying to keep from bawling like a baby. Turning, I stumble to the car. Sliding behind the wheel, the only thing I can think of is that I need to get somewhere safe; somewhere where I can find my footing again. I have no memory of actually deciding on Steve's place as that safe space but I know instinctively that that's where I'll be safest.


	3. Chapter 3

I leave work a bit early so I can go home and make sure everything is to Danni's standards. That's not to say I'm a slob, just that she prefers everything _just so_ when she's in Mistress Mode. Add to that the fact that she's spent the better part of the day in court and then will have had to deal with her ex when she takes Grace back and she's going to be in a not-so-good mood.

I've just finished straightening the living room when I hear the Camaro pull into the drive. I quickly pull off my sweat pants and drop them over the back of the Barcalounger before getting on my knees and sitting back on my heels with my feet crossed under me and my hands open, palms down on my thighs near my hips. My back is as straight as if I was standing at attention and my chin is up but my eyes are lowered.

Danni once mentioned posture equipment and I wasn't sure what she meant until she showed me a video. In it a man was wearing what looked like a leather tank top that laced up the back and a small leather cervical collar. The collar kept him from lowering his chin and the tank top kept his back straight. Both looked incredibly uncomfortable so I've been doing my level best ever since to not give her a reason to use either item on me.

Several minutes pass and I realize that Danni hasn't come inside yet. While it's not uncommon for her to keep me waiting, especially when I need to be punished such as today for daring to touch her without permission and at work, after the kind of day she's had she would want to get my punishment over with so that I can service her.

I know I'm courting further punishment by not waiting but there could be something wrong. So I roll to my feet and grab my sweats off the back of the chair before exiting the house.

As I round the corner of the house I stop dead in my tracks at the sight that greets me: my beautiful, smart, strong, confident Mistress is sitting in the front seat of her car, clutching the steering wheel and _sobbing_ like I've never seen before.

The first thought that goes through my head is that something must have happened to Grace. I rush to her side and yank the door open. "Danni! What happened? What's wrong?" Crouching down in the open door, my hands hover over her shaking body, afraid to touch lest it send her even further into this panic attack.

"Grace!" The name is torn from her throat on a wail and goose bumps appear on my arms at the anguish in that one word.

"Oh, God, Danni! What happened? Is Grace hurt?"

She shakes her head and hiccups as she tries to calm her weeping. "…took her…"

"Stan took her?" Danni nods. "Took her where? I mean, it can't be for long, she's still in school. Right?"

She shakes her head again, harder, and tries to draw in a calm breath but she's been crying hard for too long. "…can't see…"

And it clicks. I close my eyes and bite my lip to keep from cursing the man that fathered Grace. "Why'd he revoke your visitation?"

She takes a deep, yet shaky, breath and releases it slowly. "I slapped him."

Well, now, that's a surprise. "Why'd you do that?" I may want to gut the man on a near daily basis for how he treats the mother of his child but Danni has been working really hard to be civil to him for Grace's sake.

"He called me a slut."

That piece of information has me sitting hard on my ass. "What!? Why?"

Danni chews her lower lip and I have to fight the urge to lean in and chew it for her. "We were five minutes late and when Grace called you 'Uncle Steve'-" She shrugs. "-he asked if I'm spreading my legs for you, again."

Before Grace was even conceived Stan had made innuendos about how Danni got her Detective's shield; claiming she slept with her captain. He made similar comments after I recruited her for Five-Oh but after I got in his face he backed off. Apparently I need to have another talk with him. "Surprised you didn't break his nose." I would have.

"Grace was in the other room."

Sliding my left hand up her left thigh under her skirt, I settle on my knees. "What do you require of me, Mistress?" I know whatever she decides to do will hurt in the best possible way because not only will it be my punishment for this morning but it'll be Stan's for daring to suggest I hired her in exchange for sexual favors.

I can almost see the switch being flipped in her head as she picks my wrist up with two fingers as if it disgusts her and flings it away. And just like that she's no longer the grieving mother mourning not being able to see her daughter and becomes my confident, strong Mistress. "I did not give you leave to touch me, Dog." I swallow thickly as I take my first true step of the evening into subspace. 

She turns in the seat and hikes up the right side of her skirt while pulling it down a bit between her legs to cover her crotch. "I do believe you have something to lick off." When I start to lean forward, she stops me with one finger to the middle of my forehead. "You will _only_ lick that one spot." With a nod I once again go to do as ordered but she stops me, again, with a finger to my forehead. "And no teasing. Am I clear?"

"Very, Mistress." This time I wait until she nods and raises her skirt again before leaning down and running the flat of my tongue across the silky smooth skin of her upper thigh.

I used to worry about what the neighbors would think, or do think, when she has me do something like this out in the open. But then Danni showed me that humiliation can be a sexual thing and just how much better sex can be with the threat of discovery. And it also helps that my neighbors obviously couldn't care less what she and I do.

I draw patterns on her skin with my tongue, slightly surprised when she lets me. Encouraged by that, I add a hint of teeth. A sharply indrawn breath is her only acknowledgement of what I'm doing to her thigh. A quick peek up shows that she's not even watching me so I decide to see just how much I can get away with.

Sealing my lips to a patch of skin, I begin to suckle gently. She shifts slightly in her seat and it becomes clear that she's not as oblivious to what I'm doing as she'd have me think. With that in mind I turn my attentions to seeing if I can get her to climax. I meant what I said back at the office: she is incredibly responsive and it sometimes doesn't take much to set her off.

So I begin to lick and suck and lightly bite along her upper thigh where I touched her this morning and before long I'm rewarded when she begins to pant and moan. The urge to touch her is strong so I clasp my hands behind my back and bite and suck harder and finally I feel the tiny tremors in her thigh muscles that signal her approaching orgasm. At this point there's really only one thing guaranteed to shove her over that edge but it's been denied me so I press closer, using my shoulders against her knees for support as I run my tongue from the spot that now boasts a nice sized hickey to the edge of her panties. From there it's a very simple matter to turn my head and blow a concentrated stream of air directly on her crotch.

One hand lands in my hair, tugging painfully hard, and I know I accomplished my goal: I gave her an orgasm without once touching my favorite part of her body.

Her grip tightens and she uses it to push me back until she can get a foot between us and kick me back even further. "You now have an additional punishment." I know I should be concerned about the additional punishment but I'm not because I just got her off by sucking and licking and biting her _thigh_. "We've given your neighbors enough of a show. Now, take me inside."

Crouching in the open door, I slip my right arm under her knees and my left around her back before standing up. She loops her arms around my neck as soon as I'm upright. Walking back to the house I have to fight the urge to kiss her because it's not allowed; for whatever reason she doesn't kiss me when we're playing, except for after I've gone down on her. In the house, I set her down in the middle of the living room, then pull off my sweats and once again drop them over the back of the chair before turning my attentions to undressing her.

"Only remove my jacket, blouse and skirt." Stepping close, I slip my hands under the lapels of her jacket preparing to push it from her shoulders. She steps back. "What part of do not touch are you forgetting, Dog?"

Right. I'm not allowed to touch without permission. "Apologies, Mistress." I step close again and this time I pull the jacket off by grasping the lapels. Her blouse poses a bit more of a challenge since it's sleeveless. But it has buttons so I attack those first then pull it from where she has it tucked into her skirt before removing it. I think I'm doing a half way decent job of not touching her until I get to the removal of her skirt. There's no way to unzip it without touching.

"Mistress?" I stop to pick up her jacket and blouse. The blouse is made from silk, she has several items that are from when Stan would buy her expensive things. I love the feel of it against my skin so I rub it against my cheek, being careful to not get the delicate material caught on my stubble.

"Yes?"

"I will need to touch you to remove your skirt."

"Then you have permission to touch. But only what is necessary to finish."

"Yes, Mistress." Once her jacket and blouse have been hung up on the coat rack, I turn back to finish my task. As slowly as I can, I undo the eye-hook and lower her zipper then step back around in front of her where I kneel and tug on the hem of her skirt to pull it from her luscious hips. 

I keep my eyes trained on her navel as the material is slowly lowered. Once it's pooling at her feet I allow my gaze to wander to the panties she's wearing. They're black silk with an ivory lace overlay, a tiny black bow in the middle of the waistband and they sit low on her hips, showing off her curves to perfection and hiding the scar from the C-section she had to deliver Grace. The matching bra is what she calls a demi-cup, all I know is the cups barely contain her breasts, and has a bow in the center between the cups and on the straps.

She steps out of the pool of her skirt and kicks it up just slightly. I catch it automatically and stand to hang it with the rest of her clothes.

"Now, go stand in the corner like the bad boy you are."

I stand at attention for a second, then spin on my heel and march to the corner catty-corner to where she's standing. I can feel her gaze on my naked back and wish she'd touch me. It's been almost two weeks since we've been intimate due to having cases that haven't wrapped quickly enough for us to get the weekend off. This is going to be a very long weekend if she doesn't plan on touching me except to keep me from touching her.

As attuned to her very presence as I am, I'm aware of her walking over to stand directly behind me even though her footsteps are muffled by the thick area rug covering the hard wood floor. 

"I'm hungry." She touches the tip of one finger extremely lightly against my back between my shoulder blades. "Did you buy groceries like I told you?"

"Yes, Mistress." And I did: last night instead of three days ago when she gave me the list.

"Hm," she hums and runs her finger lightly down my spine before walking away and into the kitchen.

I can hear the click of her heels on the tile in the kitchen and track her movements as she fixes something to eat. She didn't ask me if I was hungry because it doesn't matter if I am or not. If she wants me to eat, I'll eat. Otherwise, I've been instructed to always make sure I've eaten before we play.

I didn't sleep much last night, anticipation of this weekend has me on edge, and so I doze a bit. How to sleep without actually sleeping and while standing up is something I learned quickly in the SEALs. Just as I feel the pull into true slumber I hear her call for me.

Because she's decided to let me eat, thankfully since my last meal was nearly four hours ago, I drop to all fours and crawl into the kitchen like a dog. She doesn't require me to crawl often but when we're playing and she feeds me, I'm to crawl since my name is 'Dog'. Shortly after we first started sleeping together, she found out that my call sign is 'Smooth Dog' and so when we began playing she dropped the 'Smooth' and started calling me 'Dog'. It feeds my humiliation needs quite well.

In the kitchen I find her sitting at the table with her back to the door, eating, and a plate of mac-n-cheese on the floor at her feet. There hasn't been enough time since she left me standing in the living room and when she called me to come eat for her to have made it from scratch which means it's from a box. I can't stand that over processed junk but she keeps it for when we need a quick meal, and when Grace is here because Grace loves the stuff. Of course she loves her mother's homemade version too but there's something about it being from a box that the girl really likes.

Swallowing my sigh, not that she won't know I hesitated, I begin to eat. I have to finish before her and she's not a slow eater so I practically swallow it whole. The second my plate is empty she says, "Take your dishes to the sink and return to your corner; this time on your knees."

I take a couple swallows of the water in the bowl next to my plate before standing and carrying both to the sink where I dump out the water. On my way out of the kitchen I notice that she's barely touched her food. I want to ask, to comfort her, but that's not allowed so I push my concern down until she releases me from this scene and I can be the loving boyfriend again.

On my knees in the corner, I once again slip into a light sleep, knowing that I'll be better able to give her what she needs if I'm refreshed.

Her panties landing on my right shoulder startle me slightly and I feel guilty that I must have actually fallen asleep.

"Apologies, Mistress."

"For what?" Crap. She either wasn't aware I'd fallen asleep or she's trying to force me into confessing.

"For not buying the groceries right when you told me to." I hold my breath waiting for her reaction; not sure if I want her to call me out on falling asleep or not.

"Huh. I figured you'd drag your feet. Don't do it again."

Relief washes over me when she doesn't tack on yet another punishment at my confession."Yes, Mistress."

"Hm," she hums, moving to stand in front of the hidden cabinet we keep the adult videos in. "What do I want to watch?" 

Knowing she's watching porn and most likely masturbating where I can't watch, or participate, is something I hate; and she knows it. Which I guess is what makes it such an effective punishment.

"Ah, here we go." She chuckles evilly and I know this is gonna be bad. "Shagging Private Ryan. A favorite, isn't it, Dog?"

"Yes, Mistress." The porno she chose is a guy on guy military 'film' based on the Tom Hanks movie _Saving Private Ryan_ and the guy playing Private Ryan looks a lot like Matt Damon which is why it's her favorite.

She laughs some more and my dick twitches but since I'm not allowed to get hard, or touch myself to prevent it, I think about how her ex treats her and my arousal disappears. "Oh, this is gonna be so fucking good."

I hear the springs in the chair as she sits down and then the buzz of her vibrator. I can picture exactly what she's doing and which vibrator she's more than likely using. About three months ago she bought a make your own dildo kit. We spent the better part of a weekend molding several out of my cock. One of them is the vibrator that she's most likely using right now and is the one she loves to use when she's in a mood like she is today. She's even been known to use it on her clit while I fuck her. I'm just waiting for the day she inserts it into her pussy and has me fuck her ass.

Soon the room echoes with moans from her and the TV and while the ones from the TV are probably fake, or mostly fake, hers have taken on a frustrated tone. It's like she's too stressed to climax. I know I can help her with that but letting me help would be more of a reward than a punishment.

Just as the actors on the screen achieve their final orgasms the sound of the vibrator shuts off. "Dog, come here."

I turn on my knees and am momentarily frozen in place at the sight of her sitting in the chair with her legs draped over the arms giving me an excellent view of one of my most favorite parts of her body.

Danni isn't overly vain about her body, she knows she's curvier than most women in Hawai'i and it only bothers her when she's wearing a swimsuit. I've tried telling her that I prefer my women with curves like hers but she doesn't really believe me. 

Even though she doesn't really care all that much, she hates the look of hair on her legs, too much time as a gymnast I think, but she also hates to shave so she waxes everything every six weeks. Well, everything except for a small triangle of curly hair on her pubic mound; just enough to remind anyone lucky enough to see her naked that she's a woman full grown; if the full breasts aren't enough, that is.

"Do I have to repeat myself?"

I know better than to keep her waiting. The first time she ever had to punish me was because I didn't obey quick enough. "No, Mistress." I crawl on my knees over to where she's sitting and get comfortable between her wide spread legs. Her panties slither silkily off my shoulder when I settle into the proper position.

"Make it good and I just might remove one of your punishments."

I know she won't no matter how good I make it for her. Or rather she just might but I'll break another rule or disobey again and she'll add the punishment right back. Running my nose along her inner thigh from her knee to the bruise I left earlier, I inhale her scent which never fails to make my dick twitch in interest whether or not I'm allowed to get hard. I place a chaste kiss on my mark, then run the flat of my tongue from my hickey to my ultimate goal.

She's riding the edge of orgasm pretty high and gasps at the first touch of my tongue to her labia. The only time I'm allowed to touch her without asking for permission is when I'm going down on her, so I slide my arms under her thighs and use my fingers to hold her open for my questing tongue. Her fingers slide into my hair and grip the back of my head. I can tell she's trying to just enjoy the ride I'm giving her but she's never been very good at giving up any kind of control, especially during sex.

With the thumb and forefinger of my left hand, I pull the folds of skin back to expose her clit and fuck her with three fingers of my right hand while sucking on that wonderful little bundle of nerves. She comes apart in my arms with a shout, pressing my face tighter against her.

Eventually her body stops shaking and she releases her hold on my head with a gentle caress to my hair.

"Take me upstairs." Her voice is soft and quiet like it is when we're having sex as equals, not that we do it that way much anymore, but it tugs at something deep inside me; something I don't have time to examine right now.

Rolling from my knees into a crouch, I pick her up just like I did from the car and carry her upstairs where I drop her in the middle of the bed. She places her feet, still in her heels, on the edge of the mattress and wiggles until her butt is just half an inch from the edge.

Grabbing a condom from the bedside table drawer, I quickly roll it on before placing my hands under her ass and lifting until I can enter her in one smooth thrust.

She gasps at the force on my penetration and throws her head back in a silent demand for more. I learned quickly that when she's like this it had better be hard and fast and as rough as I can make it. I use my thrusts to move her back on the bed until I have enough room to kneel between her legs on the edge, then I lean over her and fuck her like I've never fucked her before.

Danni can sometimes come just from being fucked and I'm hoping this is one of those times because I don't want to be distracted from the look in her eyes. Even though we've been sleeping together for eighteen months now, and playing for almost as long, we've never really talked about anything. I know she cares for me, she wouldn't have given me her Dominance if she didn't, but I don't know if she feels for me what I feel for her. In other words, I don't know if she loves me or not. But staring into her eyes right now I can almost make myself believe she does.

I start giving a hard wiggle at the end of each in stroke, doing my best to stimulate her clit like she likes, and after a dozen or so thrusts, it pays off with her climaxing for the third time in as many hours.

Since I haven't been given permission to come, I pull out, making sure the condom doesn't fall off. I carefully remove it while walking to the bathroom. In the bathroom, I wrap the condom in toilet paper before tossing it in the trash, then squeeze the base of my cock to make my erection go down. It takes longer than I like but after several minutes it deflates enough for me to take a piss.

That taken care of, I wet a washcloth and go back into the bedroom to find her still lying right where I left her: sprawled on her back in the middle of the bed with her legs splayed open wantonly. Bruises are starting to form on her inner thighs, in amongst the beard burn, from where my hip bones pressed against her tender skin and her hair is falling out of the careful knot she put it in for court. It all makes me want to dive right back in. I take a moment to just stare at the woman I'm falling head over heels for. Fuck that. I'm not _falling_ for her; I've already fallen and damn if it wasn't a spectacular fall.

Placing one knee on the edge of the bed I lean down and inhale deeply the scent of sex that clings to her. I want nothing so much as to touch the tip of my tongue to the wet curls between her legs but it's not allowed (very little is during a scene) so I do the next best thing: I gently clean her up. Once done, I toss the washcloth in the direction of the bathroom where it lands with a wet splat on the floor.

Danni gives me a small smile and starts to move over to her side of the bed. I grab one ankle and drag her back to the edge of the bed. I can see she's starting to get upset at my touching without permission but I ignore it in favor of making her comfortable.

Placing a chaste kiss to the instep of the foot I'm holding I take my time unbuckling her shoe and dropping it on the floor. I repeat everything with her other foot. Setting her foot down gently on the bed, I start to climb in with her. Before I get more than one knee placed, she pushes herself into a sitting position and scoots close enough to press a kiss to my sternum. Wrapping one hand around the back of my neck she looks me in the eye. "You know I love you, right?"

I swallow thickly. While we have been together for eighteen months now, this is the first time either of us has said those words. I can't speak around the lump in my throat so I just nod, even though I didn't know until right now.

She gives me a shy smile before twisting around and walking on her knees to her side of the bed while removing her bra. She tosses it at me and I just bat it out of the air and then climb on the bed in time to bury my fingers in her hair and help her remove the pins. Once the luscious locks are free of their confinement, I lift them to my nose and inhale deeply. I love the smell of her shampoo; it makes me think of a garden full of wild flowers.

Danni shoulders me back and turns to lie down, holding one arm out. "We'll sleep then continue with your punishment."

I was hoping she had decided against that, even though I know better. I curl along her side with my head pillowed on her right breast. We lie there for several minutes in companionable silence with her stroking my hair. 

Eventually I can't take it any longer and turn my head to rest my chin on her plump breast so I can see her face. "Mistress."

Her eyes had been closed but she opens them to stare at the ceiling. "I have yet to release you, Dog. We both need some sleep."

I'm not going to be allowed to comfort her until she's good and ready; I just hope it doesn't take her too much longer. This all started with me just doing things for her: driving her around, paying for her meals, opening doors and running errands. I've also been her shoulder to cry on and Stan's whipping boy ever since we met and not being able to comfort her now is just about killing me.

I wait until her breathing evens out, signaling her surrender to sleep and then I slip as quietly as I can from the bed. Grabbing a t-shirt on my way out of the room, I pull the door mostly closed before tip-toeing down the stairs taking care to skip the ones that squeak.

In the living room, I pull on my sweats and tug my shirt on over my head before slipping my feet into my slippers. Turning the lock slowly to make sure it doesn't make too much noise I then begin looking for my keys. When I don't see them in the bowl on the table by the door, I frown in confusion. I _know_ I dropped them there because they bounced out and I had to pick them up.

Thinking I might be mistaken, I search the whole ground floor but don't find them anywhere. Scratching my head, I return to the living room and decide to just take the Camaro; if I can only find Danni's keys…

"Looking for something, Dog?" Hitting the light switch, I turn to find her standing in the middle of the stairs wearing one of my Navy t-shirts with my key ring balanced on the end of one elegant finger.

"Mistress,-" I start to explain but she doesn't let me.

"You just can't leave well enough alone, can you?" She marches down the stairs and throws my keys at the table. "Strip and assume the position."

I press my lips together and stand up straight. "Mistress, please."

Her hand whips out and grabs my left ear, not enough to cause any real damage but enough to bring me to my knees. "I seem to remember giving you an order about sleep but since you've decided you don't need sleep I guess it's time to get to your punishment. Now-" She lets go of my ear and stands up. "-do I have to repeat myself again?"

I try and rub the sting from my ear and shake my head while getting to my feet. "No, Mistress."

"Then go!" She points in the direction of the dining room and stomps her foot.

Pulling my clothes off, I make my way into the dining room where I pull a chair out from the table. Since I'm so much bigger than her, it's too uncomfortable for her to put me over her knee so we decided to have me lean over the back of one of the dining table chairs, gripping the edge of the seat.

"Twenty strikes for thinking you have the right to touch me anytime you want." She doesn't need my permission or approval but I nod my head anyway.

Usually she touches me before spanking me, just to steady me before she begins but not this time. And that's all I need to know about her current frame of mind. Even so, I'm wholly unprepared for the spanking I get. She doesn't let up until I've received all twenty strikes and by the time she's done my ass is on fire. Sitting it gonna be near impossible for days.

She drops the paddle on the table in front of me. "Come."

I stand up and hiss at the pull of the abused skin of my ass when I go to take a step. She doesn't usually let her emotions rule when giving a punishment because that's the surest way to do serious damage but I guess whatever tender mood she was in when I fucked her is gone, ruined by my trying to sneak out to deal with Stan.

In the living room I find her standing next to the recliner. "On all fours, here-" She points at a spot on the floor in front of the chair. "-head facing the couch."

I get into the position, fairly sure what she's going to do. When she sits down in the chair and props her feet on my back, I'm proved right. 

Danni settles into the chair and turns on the TV. She flips through channels; not staying on any one channel for more than a couple of minutes. I know what she's trying to do but I refuse to feel guilty for trying to help her; it is part of my job as not only her boyfriend but also her submissive.

It's not until Danni has made three rounds through the channels that the tension leaves my shoulders and my head drops down between my arms; all fight leaving me on a sigh.

She removes her feet from my back and stands. "Come."

Back in the dining room, I find her standing rigidly with her back to the door and tapping the paddle against her thigh. It's that little tick that lets me know she's not happy about having to punish me. I want to reassure her with a touch but, once again, it's forbidden to me until she releases me from the scene. So I do the next best thing: I resume my position over the back of the chair and offer up my ass for her to spank.

"Fifteen strikes for humiliating me in open court."

I had heard about that. The linen of her skirt kept catching in the drying vaginal fluid I smeared on her thigh and since she was on the witness stand she couldn't reach under her skirt to scratch at it so she squirmed a bit. The defense lawyer insinuated that she was suffering from 'feminine itch'.

She takes her time with this spanking; alternating between my cheeks and down to my thighs. The last one lands on both cheeks and instead of lifting the paddle, she holds it there against my burning ass before rubbing it in a circle, pressing down harder with each pass. It's something she does when she spanks me for pleasure and for her to do it in conjunction with a punishment has me confused.

But then the paddle lands on the table in front of me and she's barking, "Come" before I hear the heels of her feet striking the hard wood flooring as she marches back into the living room.

Walking is getting more painful with each spanking and I can only hope she's nearly done. It may be our weekend off, and without Grace, but that doesn't mean I won't be required to walk.

In the living room I find her standing next to the chair, all her weight settled on one hip and her arms crossed under her breasts. I can't help but stare at how they push out the material of my shirt and wish for just a moment that I could wrap her waist length hair around my hand and pull her in for kiss. Or pick her up and carry her to the couch where I could cover her body with mine and remind her that not every man in the world is an asshole like Stan. 

"Same position as before." 

I settle on my hands and knees, fully expecting her to use me as a footstool again. But she manages to surprise me by stepping over me and sitting down on my back. _Oh, God! She didn't put on any panties._ My breath catches in my throat as I realize that she spanked me while wearing nothing but my t-shirt because the panties she was wearing earlier are still lying on the floor under my left hand.

"Might as well enjoy it. You might not get this close to it again for a long time."

I bite back a whine because I know that she can go longer than I can without sex. Not that it'd be that big a deal, except that I know if she decides to take sex away then I won't be allowed to jerk off until she's ready to let me fuck her again.

A rebellious part of me that I thought had been killed by BUD/s training surfaces and goads me into getting some back on her. She's obviously using this like she does my being put in the corner: I'm supposed to be 'thinking' about why I'm being punished.

I have no idea exactly how to go about getting back on her until she finds a channel playing one of her favorite movies. It takes me a few minutes to realize it's _White Nights_ and from what I can tell it just started so I bide my time. She's forced me to watch it enough that I know which part is her favorite: when Mikhail Baryshnikov's character sneaks out of his studio and into the one with the little girl dancers.

Just as that scene begins, I let all the tension in my body go and sag a bit as if I have finally given into her Dominance. She shifts and I know she's glaring down at my head, trying to figure out if I'm playing her or not. Never one to ignore when a punishment needs to be completed, she turns off the TV and sets the remote down heavily on the coffee table. 

"Come," she snaps and I know I got to her.

A small smirk crosses my face at the knowledge that I got away with this small defiance. In the dining room, I take my place over the chair, wiggling my butt a little.

She picks the paddle up and lightly taps me on the top of the head with it. "Ten strikes for the two unrequested orgasms."

"You were stressed! I was just trying to help." I stand up in order to plead my case properly.

"Did I ask for your explanation? It was _your_ suggestion for the no touching at work rule."

"And I do believe I only touched that one spot, just as ordered."

"I believe my exact instructions were to _lick_ that spot."

"And I did!"

Her eyes narrow on my face and she steps in closer until our toes are touching, then she goes up on her tip-toes to get in my face. "Licking isn't all you did. I never gave you permission to bite or suck and I certainly didn't give you permission to give me an orgasm!"

"You also didn't tell me to stop." The deep breath she takes along with the thinning of her lips tells me I'm close to overstepping myself.

"You were given exact instructions. You deviated from those instructions." She pokes me in the shoulder with the edge of the paddle. "You now have ten more strikes: five for arguing and five for thinking you could play me."

"What?"

She snorts. "You really think I don't know what you did in there? It would serve you right if I forced you back into the living room to watch it from the beginning with the added commentary."

"I never said I didn't like that movie."

Her smile can only be described as evil. "You didn't say you liked it either."

I just barely refrain from rolling my eyes. "Apologies, Mistress." I turn and resume my position over the chair, waiting for her to continue with my punishment.

"But you're right. I didn't stop you. However,-" She holds up one finger when I open my mouth to gloat. "-you knew you shouldn't have done it. Correct?"

I hang my head in guilt. "Yes, Mistress."

"And that is why you are going to take these final strikes like the good dog you are."

"Yes, Mistress."

Twenty more strikes will be incredibly difficult for me after the thirty-five I've already taken. But I'll take them because it's what my Mistress requires of me.

If not for the sound of the paddle slicing through the air, I wouldn't know she had started spanking me again; so either she's going easy one me, highly unlikely, or my ass is numb. I'm leaning toward the second one.

After five strikes, I shift just as she brings her arm down and she ends up hitting my outter thigh/hip area. My breath escapes on a sharp hiss at the sting. It's obviously enough to let her know that spanking my ass isn't working this time because each strike after that one hits my outter thigh or hip.

By the time she stops, my legs are quivering and tears well in my eyes at the thought of walking back into the living room, much less kneeling again.

The paddle lands on the table with a clatter, she must have thrown it down, and she orders me to follow her with a curt 'come'. My legs feel like lead when I turn to follow her. The last time I felt this way was during water training during BUD/s.

In the living room, I once again get on all fours in front of the chair. When she sits down she rubs the ball of her right foot against the abused skin of my left thigh and ass cheek. She drapes her left leg over the arm of the chair; this position leaves her open and I can see everything without even turning my head.

She turns the porno from earlier back on and skips to her favorite scenes while absently fingering herself. I really hate when she does this because I feel that sex, or the lack thereof, should never be used as a punishment. We've had numerous arguments about her withholding sex or forcing me to watch while she masturbates or even jerking or blowing me while not allowing me to come as a way of punishing me.

After several minutes she turns the TV off and removes her foot from my back. She nudges my hip with her toe. "Go get your whip."

I roll to my feet and walk down the hall to the utility room where a false wall hides our playroom. When it became obvious we needed a place to play I contacted a contractor who specializes in playrooms and hired him to build us one. Luckily there's a smallish cove of trees between the house and the garage that allows for an addition to be added without anyone knowing.

Danni stocked the room with all manner of toys and equipment but we have yet to use anything other than the horse and St Andrews Cross.

Stepping into the room is exactly how I imagine it feels to walk on marshmallows. Danni said she wanted to make sure it was comfortable for me to kneel for extended periods of time and for when she wants me to fuck her on the floor.

Opposite the door is the cabinet we keep the whips and floggers in. I cross to it and remove the wicked looking bullwhip I gave her for our one year anniversary. I quickly wipe it down, it's been so long since we've used it that it has grown a thick layer of dust, then kneel in the middle of the floor facing the door with the whip curled on my upraised hands as if it's an offering along with my submission.


	4. Chapter 4

I've been unable to find my headspace all evening and that is what I blame for not wanting to perform this last bit of punishment. But it needs to be done; if I don't then it'll bubble up and boil over at Stan and that just won't do.

I watch Steve shuffle down the hall toward our hidden playroom and can tell I nearly overdid it with the spanking. While he has taken more strikes than the fifty-five I gave him tonight, he's never taken so many in such a short span of time. It makes me wonder if he'll be able to handle what I plan to give him now.

With a shake of my head, I get up from the chair and stretch my arms over my head before rolling my right shoulder to try and loosen it up. Wielding a bullwhip is much harder than most people think and takes a lot of upper body strength with most of it in the upper arm/shoulder area.

I could whip him in just his shirt but I'd be too aware of the fact that that's all I'm wearing and would likely end it early in order to push him to his back and ride him until I come apart. And while that isn't completely off the table, I do need to finish this first. So I pick my panties up off the floor where they fell off Steve's shoulder before heading upstairs and into the bedroom where I put my bra and panties back on along with my heels. They just might come off in the playroom, the flooring is for him to be comfortable when kneeling and as such is extremely thick; almost too thick for me to walk on in heels. But he likes them, I like how I feel wearing them, and so on they go.

I had left my hair down to confront him about his trying to sneak out but it's not a good idea to leave it down now. I tried it once with Trevor and got my hair so horribly tangled with the whip that I had to choose between saving the whip and saving my hair; my hair won, luckily that whip was old and should have been replaced years before. Not wanting to take the time to do anything elaborate, I pull it back into a ponytail, smoothing down the little hairs that never seem to grow and that end up making me look like I have a halo.

Downstairs I make my way to the playroom, finally finding a bit of my headspace; even if it isn't exactly where I should be, it is much better than where I have been all evening.

I push aside the false wall to find him kneeling in the middle of the room with his head bowed and the whip curled on his upraised hands. Wrapping my hand around the braided leather handle, I uncurl it with a snap. A smirk crosses my face at the shiver that races through my pet's body at the sound.

Usually I pace a circle around him before I begin any punishment but walking in these heels on this flooring is difficult so I quickly remove my shoes, then walk around him. 

Steve is a very touch hungry submissive and I love to indulge his need often, even during a punishment, but today something feels different so I don't touch and I know it's just about killing him. Hell, it's just about to kill me, too. I've found myself addicted to the feel of his skin against mine.

I come to a stop behind him and gaze at the broad unblemished expanse of his back, plotting exactly where I'm going to place each and every lash mark.

He turns his head just slightly and says "Mistress" in a soft voice. I know what he's going to say and I can't let him say it because if I do I'll be tempted to take the out he's offering; and if I do that then I run the risk of everything blowing up in Stan's face. 

"You have not been given permission to talk, Dog."

I can just barely see that he's chewing his lip, weighing the threat of additional punishment against his need to comfort me with words most like. Deciding to not risk it by speaking again, he snaps his fingers twice, the code for when he needs to speak but has been forbidden from doing so. "What part of no are you not understanding, _Dog_?" I emphasize his name knowing he still sees it more of a humiliation because of its connection to the former friend who tried to kill him. It has the desired effect of him turning back around, his shoulders slumping just the slightest bit before he sits up straight and tall.

Grace is never far from my thoughts, even when I'm deep in my own headspace, and today she's front and center. The thought of not being able to see her for a month has tears welling in my eyes. I need the feel of his skin to help ground me so that I can punish him without losing control.

"Stand up." He rolls gracefully to his feet and I step close enough to touch the tips of my fingers to a spot right in the middle between his shoulder blades, the same spot I touched when I put him in the corner earlier. 

He's never asked why I touch that spot and he probably never will. While he knows he's not my first submissive he doesn't know anything about the ones who came before. I may one day tell him about my part-time submissives, the ones that came after Trevor, but I doubt I'll ever tell him about my first.

Trevor is special even now all these years later. I know I didn't love him even close to how I love Steve but he was my first love and so I find myself not wanting to spoil his memory by talking about him with someone who doesn't know him.

But should Steve ever ask, I'd tell him that the spot I touch on him is the spot I would touch on Trevor to help ground us both while we were learning. That spot on any submissive has become my focus point and my brain is conditioned to take a step into my headspace when I touch someone there.

Normally I just barely touch Steve there, then step back but today I press a bit harder and slide my fingers up to the bottom of his neck in a gentle caress before stepping back.

His breath catches in his throat and I know that this is going to be different from any other punishment I've ever given; and not just because I've never used the whip for punishment, either. I feel like Steve and I have a deeper emotional connection starting. I know he loves me, even if he's never said it, but tonight everything seems so much… _more_.

"Do you want to stand or kneel?"

"I'll kneel."

I've never whipped a kneeling submissive, not really sure why I offered it as an option, so I'm not sure if it'll really be possible or not. But either way he's showing me just how much he trusts me, despite knowing that I'm not really in the proper headspace for this.

"Then kneel." He resumes his position on his knees. "Thirty lashes for each day I don't get to see Grace," I say, flicking the whip a few times in the air near his ear mostly just to watch him shiver in anticipation but also to reacquaint myself with the weight of the whip in my hand.

Using a whip takes a certain skill; one that took me months to learn and as a result it is one of my favorite implements to use. I don't use it as often as I once did but that doesn't mean I don't prefer it over other implements like the flogger and paddle just that those are easier to use.

As I settle into the rhythm of using the whip I flash back to when I learned how to wield it.

The first time I mentioned wanting to learn how to use it was after a session with Professor, Trevor a boneless puddle on the bed between us.

Professor leaned up on one elbow to frown at me over Trevor's prone body. "You have any idea what you're asking?"

"Yes, Professor. I want to know how to give that kind of painful pleasure."

He nodded his head. "Okay, I'll teach you. But we're doing this at my pace. You will _not_ progress until I'm positive you have mastered the current lesson."

"Of course, Professor."

We started the very next day. 

First he had me using a very light whip. Once I could hit the fake torso he drew a line just above where the kidneys would be. Once I could hit the upper part, he narrowed it again and again until he was just drawing a dot on the shoulder area (he claimed the shoulders can take the sting of the lash better than any other part of the back). He then gave me a heavier whip and had me start over. And so it went; as soon as I could hit the same small spot every time, he'd give me a heavier whip until I was using a professional weighted bullwhip.

After four long months Professor deemed me ready to actually use the whip on my beautiful Boy. And so the day came when Professor tied Trevor to a pole and I laid twenty lash marks across his shoulders. The rush of giving him that exquisite pain was enough to arouse me to the point where I shoved Trevor into a chair and fucked myself on his dick. 

Whipping became a favorite for both of us and we did it as often as I dared considering he still had to be able to raise his arms in his Other Life. And that's another reason I don't use a bullwhip very often, it forces the person who was whipped to alter how they function.

By the time I land the last lash, tears are streaming down my face and I'm fighting to keep my sobs quiet. I messed up by letting him see earlier. I can't let him know how vulnerable I can be at times like this. I mean, sure part of his job is to comfort me but I can't let him. He needs me to be strong, not weak. If he knows this about me he'll question my ability to be what he needs and I need him just as much and if he was ever to leave it would destroy me almost as much as losing Grace did.

Steve slumps forward when he realizes I'm done. From where I'm standing I can't really tell but it appears he's braced one hand against the floor and from the way the muscles on the back of his neck are tensed, I'm guessing he's gritting his teeth against the pain.

It's time for his aftercare but this is a punishment so that has to wait, plus I need to take care of myself first. And so I wipe the tears from my face before stepping around him. I drop the whip in front of where he's kneeling as I pass. "Clean up down here then come upstairs." Snagging my shoes from the corner where I tossed them earlier, I leave the room as fast as I can without actually running. Then once out of sight of the playroom, I break into a run. I have to force myself to go upstairs despite every fiber of my being telling me to run as far away as I can; to end this before he can and try to protect my heart.

In the bedroom, I collapse on the bed and smother my heart wrenching sobs in the bedding. I know I don't have much time to indulge before Steve finishes despite how slowly he's moving. But I have enough time for me to find part of my center by chanting 'You are strong. You are confident' over and over in my head.

Finally my sobs taper off into the occasional hiccuping breath and I lie there for a long moment trying to catch my breath and calm myself from my panic attack. When I hear the stairs squeak as Steve climbs them, I roll from the bed and make my way to the bathroom, snagging his shirt from where I dropped it earlier and pulling it on over my head as I go. In the bathroom, I use the toilet and then wash my hands and face. I press the towel harder, and for a minute longer, than necessary while still chanting my mantra.

My parents never let me get away with using my gender as a reason for not doing something. If I tried and failed because I just didn't have the skills, which can be learned, or the physical strength, which can be acquired with training, then that was one thing. But if I flat out refused on the grounds I'm a girl, well, it didn't go over well. Both my parents believe that there isn't anything in the world that a man can do that a woman can't and I was strongly encouraged to do anything and everything I wanted.

That encouragement is what drove me to be the star of my high school gymnastics team which led to me getting a full-ride scholarship to Rutgers. It also had me graduating third in my high school and college classes and first in my police academy class (while going to college full-time, no less) along with being the first woman and youngest member of the homicide squad for Newark PD and the youngest to take (and pass) the Sergeant's exam. 

But sometime after I met Stan that all changed. It's like he came along and I lost myself. Why else would I willingly give up custody of my child? He must have made me feel like less than I am in some way that went unnoticed by everyone around me, including me.

But that all changed when I met Steve. He gave me back to myself. And yet I still find myself deferring to Stan more oft than not; and hating myself for it a little more each time. 

Like a light bulb going off, I know yet another reason why I've been distracted tonight: my dominant side is reasserting herself and not liking how I am around my ex. I make a decision that that is all gonna change come Monday morning and put the towel down on the counter before turning to face the open bathroom door to find my beautiful, naked submissive kneeling at the foot of the bed.

I can hardly believe he gives me his submission so freely and often find myself wondering what I did to deserve it and him. I pause in the doorway and let my eyes devour him from the top of his head with its close cropped black hair that's starting to go grey at the temples, down his broad shoulders that have carried me on numerous occasions, across his well-defined chest with its pert nipples that I love to torment, and finally down his chiseled abs to his gorgeous cock which is half hard at the moment. Pain always has this effect on him. It's something I'm having difficulty getting rid of but that could be because I don't want it to go away completely because sometimes the pain is its own form of pleasure.

"On your stomach in the middle of the bed." I don't have to explain the reason for this order, he knows. I never let him sleep in the bed with me after a punishment, there's a bedroll in the closet that he uses. And since the point of punishment is for it to hurt, giving aftercare so soon is just not the norm. His eyes snap up to mine and I see the confusion in the blue depths.

When he doesn't move fast enough, I raise one eyebrow and shift my weight to the balls of my feet. That seems to snap him out of whatever trance he was in because he blinks and then is instantly on his feet, scurrying for the bed.

He settles in the middle of the bed in the ordered position: on his stomach with his feet crossed at the ankles and his head pillowed on his crossed arms.

I grab the jar of Aquaphor and join him on the bed. Kneeling next to his left hip I can see that the two lash marks on either side of his spine have bled a little, not much more than if I had scratched his back during sex, but still I'm pissed at myself for being so distracted that I was careless with him.

"Damnit!" I mutter, swinging one leg over his back to straddle his hips, making sure to keep most of my weight on my knees but with my thighs gripping his flanks tightly. I can feel some of the remaining tension seep out of his muscles at the touch of my skin against his. "Did you safeword?"

He shakes his head. "No, Mistress." He had better be telling the truth. Just the thought that I might have missed him using his safeword because I was too fucking caught up in my own shit terrifies me.

I open the jar and begin applying a thin layer of the ointment to the lash marks. "Why not?"

"Because you required me to submit fully to the punishment."

"A punishment that is not yours."

"And yet you still required it of me."

At his softly spoken words, I feel myself slip that much more in love with him and know that it'll be that much harder to leave when the time comes. Because the time always comes for one of us to leave.

"What is your safeword?"

He presses his lips closed into a tight line. I know he hates the word I gave him; it's why I gave it to him because I know he'll only use it when he truly means it. "Army," he says the word as if it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

I chuckle just like I did when I gave it to him all those months ago. "Army," I repeat, leaning forward enough to nuzzle behind his right ear with my nose.

He relaxes further at this sign that things are still good between us. I then remember that I haven't restated his rules in a while so I sit back and resume applying ointment to the lash marks. 

"So, tell me, Dog, what are the rules?"

"No touching without permission. Especially not at HQ." I flick his right ear at that one and he just hunches his shoulder. "No talking unless asked a direct question or otherwise told to speak. If I need to speak, I am to snap my fingers twice. If permission is denied I am to accept it and move on. If it is an urgent need I am to snap three times.

"I am to be naked in your presence unless otherwise told to wear clothes. Likewise, I am to always kneel unless given other instruction. 

"While you will not make me go hungry, I am to always make sure I have eaten before we begin a scene.

"Your pleasure and your pleasure alone is what matters. I am nothing but your fuck toy to do with as you wish.

"The quicker I obey, the better my reward. On the other hand, the more I hesitate, argue or disobey, the harsher my punishment. You do not like punishing me but will when I need to be because you want me to be the best I can be."

I turn around so I can apply ointment to his ass and thighs and turn the healing caress into a loving one. I fell head over heels for this man over the barrel of a gun; it'll be quite the story to tell our grandkids someday. That thought has me sitting up and blinking. I've never considered having children, Grace was most definitely not planned, so for me to be thinking in those terms about Steve…

I can feel another panic attack building so I finish making sure his wounds are all cared for before climbing from the bed. In the bathroom I wash my hands and stare at my reflection in the mirror. "You got it _bad_ , Danni-girl," I whisper, splashing some more water on my face. After several minutes where I stubbornly refuse to admit I'm just stalling, I take and release a deep breath then go back out into the bedroom.

Pulling the covers up, I fold them back so he's covered from the waist down the way he likes. Then I run my fingers through his hair. "Sleep." He blinks at me sleepily and scoots over a little to give me room to join him in the bed. I give him a small smile before turning and walking out of the room. I'm sure he probably thinks I'm leaving but I'm not, and I don't owe him any explanation, ever.

Downstairs, I grab my phone from my jacket pocket and head outside to curl up in one of the chairs near the surf line. I sit there for a long time, just staring out at the black water that is broken occasionally by the white of the cresting waves. I haven't liked the beach in a long time, when I was young I found it quite soothing and tonight I find that it is soothing once more.

Eventually I pick up my phone and dial a number from memory, I have no use for it these days and so do not have it stored in my phone. It rings once, twice without being picked up. I know he's not asleep because it's the middle of the day for him. When it rings a third and fourth time without being answered I fear I may have called during his class time. 

It has just begun to ring for the fifth time when a breathless voice says, _"Daniel, my girl. How are you?"_ The affection he still feels for me is evident in every syllable.

I can't help the smile that crosses my face at the sound of Professor's voice. I was never completely sexually attracted to him, not like I am to Steve, but there was something there and if I wasn't a Domme I'm sure I would have been content to be his submissive. "Professor." Despite the lack of sexual attraction on both our parts, we do have a mutual affection for one another.

_"I know that tone. Tell me."_

I sigh and slouch down in the chair to rest my head on the back. "I got careless."

_"Did you hurt him?"_

"Not any more than if I had scratched him with my nails during sex."

_"Huh. And yet it has you distressed."_

"I was so distracted I not only made him bleed, I lost track of him."

_"Hm. Did he safeword?"_

"He says he didn't."

_"Do you believe him?"_

"No."

_"Why would he lie?"_

"I don't know. Maybe he's sensing my distraction?"

_"Tell me why you're so distracted."_

I sigh and start picking at the cuticle of one of my toenails. "I don't really know. I wasn't able to truly find my headspace tonight. I mean, I found it enough to give his first punishments but by the time I had to give the big one…" I let my voice trail off.

_"Tell me about your day."_

"Well, first he touched me inappropriately at the office."

_"Meaning?"_

"He reached under my skirt and fingered me until I climaxed." The noise he makes tells me that if a submissive of his had done that they wouldn't be able to sit for days. "He's not allowed to touch without permission and definitely not allowed to touch me at work."

_"So you work with him?"_

"Yeah. It's been difficult keeping our personal feelings out of the office."

_"I bet. He the big white guy with the tattooed shoulders?"_

"He is."

Professor huffs a laugh. _"You don't have a type, do you?"_

I sigh deeply. "No. He is so very much everything Trevor is not."

_"This also distresses you."_ I hate that he knows me so well that these are statements and not questions.

"Trevor was - is - special. My current pet is not the type I've ever been attracted to."

_"You know that sexuality is fluid. The type you were attracted to as a teenager is not the type you'll be attracted to as an adult. Especially as a mother. You'll go for the type that can provide the best for you and your offspring."_

"Yes, I'm aware."

He outright laughs at my tone of exasperation. _"You hate yourself for falling in love with him the moment you met him."_

"He's such a man!"

_"What did you expect? The man's a former SEAL."_

"I know!"

_"Ah, Daniel. Don't ever change."_ He clears his throat and I hear the faint squeaking of his office chair. _"So tell me the rest."_

"He wiped his fingers on my thigh. That shit itches like fuck as it dries. Plus I was wearing a linen skirt because I had court. It kept catching on that one spot causing me to fidget on the witness stand. The defense lawyer implied that I was suffering from 'feminine itch'. In open court." I shift around until I'm curled sideways on the seat. "I was released from court early so I went and got my daughter from school to spend the afternoon being girls. I got her back to her father five minutes late. My daughter told him about an accident that had us running late and said that 'Uncle' wouldn't be working it because he's not a traffic cop like I used to be. My ex asked when I started spreading my legs for him again."

_"You broke his nose."_

"No. But I wanted to. My daughter was there and I try to set a good example of how to deal with conflict. I waited until she was in another room before I slapped the shit out of his face."

_"Felt good, yeah?"_

"Made me wonder why I never tried to top him." I know I need to finish but I'm not too proud of what happened next. The silence stretches until I can't stand it any longer. "He took away a month of visits. I totally broke down and let my pet see. He should never see me like that. I messed up."

_"Being emotional is not a weakness, Daniel."_

"Says the man." I sigh again and get up to pace a circle in front of the chairs. "I cannot be seen as female even a little. If I show even the slightest hint of having emotions my detractors would be on me like stink on shit."

_"What is your main job as a Dominant?"_

"To take my pet down when he needs it and to take care of him until he can handle things on his own again."

_"And his job as your submissive?"_

"To submit to my dominance and to take care of me when I need it."

_"So why are you still fighting this? You chose this man for a reason. Let him do what you need him to do."_

A snarky comment jumps to the tip of my tongue but I bite it back. "You don't understand, Professor."

_"Do you allow your submissive to argue and backtalk you?"_

I stop pacing and stare down at where I'm drawing small circles in the sand with the big toe of my right foot. "No, Professor."

_"Then why are you arguing with me?"_

"Apologies, Professor."

_"Are you-?"_ I hang up before he finishes his question because I know what he's going to say and it won't do to make him have to punish me from so far away.

Professor didn't tell me to go to Steve right now so I curl back into the chair while absently rubbing my belly, something I've managed to forget about for the day, and try to not think about the _other_ reason for my distraction. A reason that is locked in my desk at the office; that innocent piece of plastic that has the power to destroy my life.

I continue to sit there staring at the water until it's light enough to tell the sea from the sky. Then get up and head back upstairs, so tired I don't think I'll be able to sleep. In the bedroom, I find Steve exactly how I left him: sprawled on his stomach with his head pillowed on his crossed arms. 

Even though his eyes are closed I can tell he's not asleep, dozing perhaps, but definitely not sleeping. I set my phone down on the bedside table then run the fingers of one hand through his hair and don't resist the urge to kiss his temple. He sighs and when I lean back I see a smile on his face. A gentle shake of the hair in my hand has him scooting over enough for me to join him under the covers.

He comes eagerly into my arms and I scoot down enough to tuck my head under his chin like he usually does to me.

"You smell like the ocean," he murmurs, brushing a kiss to my hair.

"Yeah, I needed some fresh air." I wiggle until I'm more comfortable with my head pillowed on his chest right over his heart. "You're not asleep."

"Never have been able to sleep without you when I'm in my headspace."

"I'm here now so you can sleep."

"'kay."

He slips quietly into slumber and I press close enough to breathe my secret into his skin.


	5. Chapter 5

I wake before Danni, as usual. Since I haven't been released from the scene I can't leave the bed without her permission which kinda sucks because she generally sleeps past the time I normally have already been out for a swim _and_ a run.

But it gives me an opportunity to watch her sleep and I take full advantage by rolling to my left side and looking my fill of her. My mistress doesn't think she's as beautiful as some other women; Cath is one she compares herself to most regularly. I have tried to tell her with words and actions that I find her beyond attractive. You'd think the fact that she has to constantly get on to me for being half-hard while in her presence would clue her in that I'm telling the truth but she just can't see what I see when I look at her. Guess that old adage is true: beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

During the night she's rolled to her back, the sheet has fallen to her waist and her shirt is bunched up around her breasts. Her right hand is resting lightly on her belly as if she fell asleep mid-scratch, her left hand is curled loosely on her pillow, her head is turned in that direction which has her looking away from me and her left leg is bent at the knee with the toes of that foot tucked under her right calf.

I love the way she smells, especially after we've had sex and before she's had a chance to shower. On her weekends without Grace we tend to not bathe much; it's just a waste of water when we're just going to get all hot and sticky again before too long. Leaning down I sniff deeply along the crease of her armpit but her deodorant is too strong. So I crawl slowly over her right leg, gritting my teeth at the pull of my healing lash marks, and settle between her legs, my nose right against the thin cotton crotch of her panties.

Inhaling deeply I get a huge whiff of her essence. Just as I'm about to taste her she moans and shifts.

Her left foot is now flat on the mattress, her left hand resting low on her belly with the nail of her pinky touching the elastic of her panties, her right hand is gripping the sheets and her head is tilted back. She moans again and arches her back a little and that's when it hits me: she's having a sex dream.

I wonder if she's dreaming of me until she moans again and says, "Not like that, Boy." She only calls me 'boy' when talking about my behavior. Jealousy spikes through me that this unknown submissive is special enough for her to dream about.

"Like this." She slips her left hand into her panties and begins to finger herself. She used to let me watch her giving herself pleasure but hasn't in some months, now. I was totally unaware that she masturbates with both hands.

As I watch, her back arches sharply off the bed and she groans deep in her throat as her orgasm overtakes her. She pulls her fingers out of her pussy but not her panties. I can tell she's rubbing on her clit and is well on her way to yet another orgasm. The wet spot on her panties is calling to me so I lower my head and touch the tip of my tongue to it. She gasps and rubs the toes of her right foot along my side.

"Do it, Boy." She grabs a fistful of hair in her right hand and shoves my face between her legs. I've done this before through her panties but she didn't get off to the degree she likes so I pull back just enough to pull her panties down and off. "I said eat me!"

I wrap my hands around the outside of her thighs, putting pressure on her hips to keep her as still as possible and suck on her clit like it's a piece of candy. Her breath stutters in her chest and I know she's close, but not close enough. Releasing her left hip, I shove three fingers of my right hand into her pussy, thrusting them in and out while keeping them spread a little bit to give her something to clench down on.

I can feel the fine tremors that signal she's close so I add my pinky to my other three fingers and shove them as deep as I can while sucking extra hard on her clit. She comes for the third time in less than thirty minutes with a shout, her back arching sharply off the bed.

My dick is hard and leaking. I know I'm more than likely not going to get any relief any time soon, if at all, but can't seem to find the energy to force my erection away.

And it's a good thing, too, because no sooner do her muscles stop twitching with the aftershocks of her orgasm, than she's pulling me up her body by her grip on my hair. As soon as I'm stretched out over her, she hooks her heels under the curve of my ass and with the strength of muscles built over years as a gymnast and chasing after suspects, she pulls me in until I'm buried balls deep inside her.

She makes a noise deep in the back of her throat that I've never heard before and begins shifting her hips against me, silently telling me to move. But I can't. I'm not wearing a condom, something I've never done. Ever. Before her even hand jobs and blowjobs were done with a condom firmly in place. She said she likes the taste of come and hates the taste of even flavored condoms so prefers to not use them. Besides, I'm not allowed to come in her mouth; she always pulls off right before so that I come on her face or in her hand.

She pulls me down by her fistful of hair and nips my bottom lip. "Fuck me, Dog." I pull back so that I'm not looking at her cross-eyed and can tell by the dim light filtering in through the window that her eyes are open and heavy lidded. "Fuck me." The tone of her voice is not the one she usually uses when giving me an order; it's more like she's on the verge of begging.

But even so, I still can't seem to move. I shake my head. "I'm not wearing a condom, Mistress."

She makes that unfamiliar noise again. "You think I don't know that?"

"But…" I lose my train of thought when she leans up and licks my left earlobe into her mouth. "Ah, Mistress…"

"Fuck me, Steve." She never calls me Steve when we're playing - truly playing - like we have been so far this weekend.

"I have to protect you." This is something that has been drummed into me from the time I hit puberty: _never_ have sex without a condom unless you _want_ to risk a pregnancy. And we're not there, yet. Not that I don't want to be. I'd love to watch her belly grow round with my child, watch her feed it from her body but she hasn't even hinted that that's something she wants.

"I'm on The Pill, you know that."

I turn my head and look into her eyes. "Are you sure?" I have to know because right now my dick is extremely happy to be inside her without the customary latex barrier.

"Yes," she breathes the word against my lips before licking her way inside my mouth.

That one word is all I need to hear. I brace myself on my elbows with my fingers buried in her hair, holding her head still so I can suck on her tongue like I suck on her clit. My first thrust is slow but deep and pulls that noise from her again. She grips my back over my shoulder blades. The sting of her nails digging into my skin grounds me; helps me keep control so that this isn't over too soon.

Slowly, I increase the pace of my thrusts until I'm pounding away and the sound of my balls striking her flesh echoes through the room. She rips her mouth from mine, gasping and panting.

"I love you," she moans over and over. 

I want to tell her that I feel the same but the words stick in my throat. They feel cheap on my tongue. I know Stan used to tell her he loves her all the time and look how that turned out. I bury my head in her neck and do my best to get her off with just my cock.

"You can come whenever you want!" The last word is shouted as she comes apart in my arms.

It's all too much, has been way beyond too much, and so it is with a shout of my own that I come deep inside a woman for the very first time.

For a really long moment that feels like eternity but is probably closer to a minute or two, I rest my head on her shoulder and pant against her sweat slick skin. As I come down from that high I'm acutely aware of a sharp pain in my shoulder. It takes a few seconds for me to realize she's bitten me. Oh, not enough to break the skin; hell, not even enough to bruise, but certainly enough to get my attention.

She brushes her lips across the indent of her teeth in apology before shoving on the top of my head. "Eat me."

I slide down her body, maintaining eye contact. When I get to where her shirt is rucked up, I suck on a bit of skin, leaving a mark. She bites her lip and allows me my indulgence for a minute before pushing on my head again. I get the message: I've been given an order and I had better obey if I don't want to be punished again.

As she pushes me down her body I brush my lips over her skin, mostly just to feel her shiver at the barely there touches, and manage to dip my tongue into her belly button. Her breath catches in her throat. I look up and see her bottom lip caught once again between her teeth; a sure sign that she's well on her way to yet another orgasm. I'm slightly surprised because I haven't really done anything, at least not anything I normally do to fuel her arousal.

She tucks her left hand under her head which has the benefit of propping it up enough for her to watch me over her heaving chest. The fingers of her right hand are still tangled in my hair and she tugs just enough to remind me that I'm lying between her legs for a reason.

I return my attention to that wonderful part of her anatomy. I brush my lips over her curls and dip my tongue between her folds, touching the tip to her clit and flicking lightly. She gasps and tries to shove my face closer while raising her hips. This is the only thing I'm truly allowed to do at my pace so I twist my head enough to remind her of that but not enough to dislodge her hand. She gives me a tiny smile and small shrug as if to say she had to try.

She's given me blanket permission to touch while performing cunnilingus which I always take full advantage of and this time is no different. I place yet another gentle kiss to her damp curls before pressing on her thighs so that her legs are spread wide and flat against the bed.

There's just enough light for me to see the bruise I sucked into her inner right thigh yesterday. With a smirk I lean down and make it bigger. She wraps her left hand around my right wrist, her nails digging into my skin. I pull back and admire my handiwork before licking her from asshole to clit.

Using the tip of my tongue I dip between her folds and into her pussy where I can taste myself mixed with her unique taste. This is certainly a first for me. I've never eaten a woman after having fucked her and I find it's something I truly like; especially after being allowed to come inside her without a condom.

As I begin to slowly fuck her with my tongue her grip on my hair relaxes until she's just resting her hand on my head. When I feel the tremors that signal she's close to the edge I switch from fucking her with my tongue to sucking on her clit. Her back arches off the bed and her breath catches in her throat as her orgasm crashes over her, leaving her trembling and panting, her right hand petting my hair.

I rest my head on her lower abdomen and close my eyes. My dick may not have gotten hard again but I feel like I climaxed right along with her. We both doze for several minutes and then she nudges me. "You asleep down there?"

I sigh and turn my head to rub my nose against the skin of her belly. "Not yet."

"You have two choices: you can go for a swim or run _or_ I can spend the day playing with you."

I chuckle. "As if you haven't been playing with me already."

"Hm," she hums. "Not yet I haven't. So what's it gonna be?"

"What did you have in mind?"

Her smile turns evil and a shiver skates down my spine. "Does it matter? You know you'll enjoy it."

I rub my stubbled cheek against her thigh causing it to twitch. "I suppose you're right about that."

She pushes on my forehead. "Pee break."

I sit back on my heels and she swings her legs over the side of the bed and stands up. Turning my head just the tiniest bit I can watch her walk into the bathroom. I hate that she's still wearing my shirt because it hides her amazing ass.

She exits the bathroom a few minutes later. "Remember: no touching!" she says on her way out of the bedroom. "You have five minutes."

Watching her walk from the room I'm struck again by just how much I love this woman.

I can remember the day I first laid eyes on her like it was yesterday. At first all I could see was the business end of her service pistol but I could feel the Dominant in her calling to the submissive in me. Not that I knew that that was what it was. 

It wasn't until after the fiasco with Nick that I figured it out. And once I did I was pissed that she didn't come to me right away. I had noticed her watching me so I figured she knew. But when she didn't show up when I expected her to it was a major blow. When she finally appeared at my door I was angry enough to fight her demands; refusing to give an inch even though every fiber of my soul was demanding I submit. And then once I went to my knees for her it was like coming home; like I had been born to kneel there and accept her Dominance and praise.

Up until that night I thought that Cath was the woman for me, that she was my type because all of the other women I've slept with have been variations of her: tall, good looking, muscular, and in the Navy. But apparently my type is a curvy, mouthy blonde cop from New Jersey.

I had a good thing going with Cath. We were never truly exclusive, even if we never slept with anyone else and yet I still didn't categorize it as friends with benefits, neither did she as far as I know. It was more like whenever we could get together we would. And since we got on better between the sheets, that's basically all we did.

But not so with Danni. Danni has challenged me from the very first and I've found that I quite enjoy it. From the moment she first pointed her gun at me and demanded I put mine down there's been something there, hanging in the air between us.

People we've encountered have taken our banter to mean we're a couple and I'm sure that's why Stan is still going on about it; that and I'm fairly sure he's jealous because she's happier with me than she ever was with him.

I know that everyone, Chin and Kono included, think Danni and I have been sleeping together almost from the first but we didn't even have our first kiss until nearly a month after we met.

It was the night of the shoot-out at the football game. She came over to my house to bitch about Stan trying to change her visitation and when I handed her a beer I just leaned in and stopped the flood of words with my lips. She tasted of the malasadas she'd had earlier and coffee; I have since learned that she always tastes of coffee. When we parted, she blinked at me for several seconds and I couldn't help but smirk because I apparently broke her. But she recovered quickly and with a hasty "I gotta go" she ran out to her car and sped away.

She didn't look me in the eyes for nearly two days. And barely spoke to me except for what was absolutely necessary. But something about going undercover as a wealthy gambler and his escort seemed to bring her back. And damn but did she look outstanding in that evening gown.

I managed to get her to talk to me about it, sort of, after the Governor forced Stan to give up his petition. She told me that as long as Cath was anywhere near the picture then there would never be a repeat of that kiss.

And considering I wanted to rip that evening gown off the second I saw it I knew I had to have a serious talk with Cath. Something I had been avoiding for far too long because being with her was easy.

And Cath, of course, beat me to it the next time she was in port. She told me it was obvious that I was developing feelings for Danni and since we'd never been more than a way to pass the time she was stepping aside. And then she smacked me upside the head and called me an idiot for not doing something about it sooner.

But that still wasn't the first time Danni and I had sex. She insisted we go slow; I figured out later it was because she was on her period and had let her birth control prescription lapse. So it was nearly six months after we met, and just over a month after we agreed to date, that we had sex for the first time. And each time is just as good, or better, than that first time.

A quick look at the clock has me scrambling from the bed and taking care of business as quickly as I can without making a mess before running down the stairs. I slow my pace to a walk just before I enter the playroom.

My Mistress is standing in the middle of the room wearing only her strap-on harness. Her hair is hanging heavily down her back in a thick braid and she has her head lowered in such a way that she's looking up at me as if I interrupted her looking at something on the floor. My knees instantly get wobbly when I see the dildo she has attached to her harness because I know it means she's going to fuck me.

She's only ever fucked me once and it was an experience that I'm not sure I ever want to repeat. Not because it was painful, although I'm not sure why I didn't totally like it; especially since I like it when she has me use the dildos on myself or when she uses them when they're not attached to the harness.

I'm sometimes allowed to request things so I tentatively say, "Mistress?"

She makes some final adjustments to the harness before looking up fully. "You're nearly late. What were you doing?"

I don't know how to answer that so I just shake my head. "Nothing. May I request something?"

"If it has to do with my fucking you, then no." She steps closer but not close enough to touch. "Only thing you get a say in is if I take you from behind or not."

The one and only time she fucked me with the strap-on she took me face to face. She had me lie on the bed and she stood beside it and fucked me that way. She has had me on all fours and fucked me with a dildo not in a strap-on and I really enjoyed that. 

I chew my lower lip and try to decide. On the one hand I'm getting fucked no matter what but on the other hand I can decide in what position. And that actually makes all the difference. She's naked and that means if she takes me face to face then I'll be able to see her tits jiggle and that'll help me enjoy it but if she takes me from behind I'll get to feel her tits pressing against my back, something I don't get to feel very often.

"You have five seconds before I make the decision for you."

A quick glance around the room shows that she's moved the saw horse out away from the wall so I step over to it and brace myself on the padded top, spreading my legs and thrusting out my ass in lieu of answering.

"Bit of a slut today, are you?" 

I hang my head at the harsh words, my face flaming in embarrassment. But Mistress has carefully conditioned me to humiliation and my arousal increases. In the position I'm in my dick is hanging heavily between my legs and it twitches at the word 'slut' and my breathing becomes ragged. Over the course of our sexual relationship in general and her Ownership of my in particular, I've discovered that I crave sex with her. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy or even want sex before (I am a healthy male, after all) just that I can't seem to get enough from her.

I startle a little when one of her hands lands on the small of my back. My skin tingles from the warmth of her palm.

"Here's what we're gonna do: I'm going to fuck you and you're going to come whenever you want. And then we're going to change places and you're going to fuck me. And once that's done, I'm going to tie you up and put my marks on your back." She drapes herself over my back, the dildo nudging at my hole. "How does that sound to you?"

"You want me to fuck you after I come?" Surely she doesn't mean that. I know she knows my recovery time isn't that quick.

She chuckles. "Oh, no. I imagine you'll be able to hold off with the promise of being allowed to come in me again. But I will warn you to time your orgasm just right because if I come first, you won't be allowed to come."

Which means I had better hope she doesn't come while fucking me.

A lube coated finger presses against my hole and I push back against it, relaxing enough that it slips easily inside. She twists it, coating me as well as she can before replacing it with the dildo.

Pressing inside, she doesn't stop until she's all the way inside. She doesn't even pause, just pulls instantly back out before setting up a punishing rhythm. Her belly smacks against my ass which is still slightly sore from where she spanked me yesterday. When I try to push back against her, she tightens her grip on my hips and I get the message: I'm to stay still and let her fuck me.

The urge to come becomes nearly unbearable so I grit my teeth and hold on to the reins of my control by reminding myself that I'll be allowed to come inside her soon. I hear her gasp and stiffen behind me. My head drops forward because those are all signs that she climaxed which means I will not be allowed to come again today.

A hiss escapes when she pulls out. She places a kiss to my back, right between my shoulder blades; in the exact same spot where she touched me earlier. I bite back a whine at the loss of skin to skin contact when she steps away.

"Dog." I turn and find she's removed the harness. I approach where she's kneeling. "How do you want me?"

That seems to be the question of the day: what position do we want to fuck in? We did face to face and from behind already so I think I'll go for my other favorite position. "I want you to ride me."

"Excellent choice." She reaches out and tugs on my hand until I'm lying flat on my back.

She swings one leg over my hips and slowly lowers herself on my dick. When she comes to rest in the cradle of my hips, she sighs and wiggles her hips as if trying to get me deeper. She braces her hands on my chest and I bend my knees to put my feet flat on the floor. She then begins rocking like she's riding a horse and I put my hands on her hips.

I begin thrusting up to meet her and she stops moving, letting me fuck her as hard as I want. Holding her hips still, I thrust up hard and fast. 

"Yes. Fuck me. Harder, Steve!" 

I begin pulling her down to meet me as I thrust up and the sound of our skin slapping together echoes in the room along with our heavy breathing. Eventually I can feel the tell-tale signs that she's getting really close and since she hasn't reminded me that I'm not allowed to come, and with the fact that I was told that I can't come if she comes first in the back of my mind, I manage to climax just seconds before she does. She collapses on my chest, her panting breath cooling the sweat slicked skin of my neck.

Just when I think she's fallen asleep, she pushes herself up enough to lean on her crossed arms on my chest. "Gotta love how Uncle Sam teaches you boys to follow orders. Makes my job that much easier."

It's the first she's ever really said about having other submissives before me. I mean, I _know_ there have been others but to hear her actually say something about it. I don't feel so special now.

She gets to her feet and walks over to the bench set into the wall. I failed to notice when I entered that she has her clothes piled on top. Of course I was a tad distracted by her nakedness but that isn't any excuse. I'm supposed to notice everything about my surroundings at all times. Failure to do so could get me or her killed.

"Come, Dog." She's holding out my wrist cuffs. A few weeks after she first put me on my knees, she took me to a specialty shop in town and had several items made just for me. I got the feeling that when she moved to Hawai'i she hadn't planned on taking a submissive and so had gotten rid of all her equipment.

The last thing I had had made for me was my dress uniforms. It was quite the experience having my neck, wrists, and ankles measured and pieces of leather molded around them.

Danni had several of each made in all different colors and with different accent pieces. She explained that they were to suit her moods and the needs of the scene. I didn't care then but I do now. I have my favorites, just like I'm sure she has hers, and the pair she's holding now are my favorite wrist cuffs.

I had always wondered if she knew that I preferred this pair over the others or not. And now I have my answer. She does know and cares enough to use them.

Standing, I walk over to where she's waiting near the controls for the chains that are attached to the ceiling. Holding out my wrists, I allow her to buckle the cuffs on before stepping back until I'm standing under one of the chains.

She lowers it until the hooks on the end are at my mid-chest, then she steps up and attaches them to my cuffs. Once finished she looks me in the eyes and gives me a tiny smile. The rush of love I feel in this moment overrides my best judgment and I lean forward to press my lips to hers. The words I've yet to ever say to any woman rush to the tip of my tongue but I hold them back. 

I have no idea why I refuse to let them out; I know that if I did it would make her feel better but something keeps me from just opening my mouth and saying them.

She pulls back with a sigh. "I should punish you for that," she says, shaking her finger at me while turning back to the controls.

"But you won't?" Not that I want to be punished again but she very rarely lets rule breaking slide, especially when she's already punished me for a similar infraction.

"I don't think your ass can take the additional abuse." She pushes the button that raises the chain and it takes my hands with it. She stops it when I'm standing on the balls of my feet.

The position is familiar and I feel myself step even further into my headspace. This weekend doesn't seem to actually be about our dynamic as Domme and submissive and so I haven't been too worried that I haven't been where I usually am when she dominates me.

I remember the first time she tied me up like this. We didn't have the playroom yet so she had me fashion something around one of the exposed beams in the living room. It was far from ideal but it got the job done for that one time. In fact, it was after that that she decided we needed a room where we could do this sort of thing.

"How are you, Dog?"

The question is not uncommon but it has been a while since she's asked and so it takes me a moment to recall the proper answer. "Green, Mistress."

"You'll tell me if that changes."

"As always, Mistress."

She smiles and steps over to the cabinet where she keeps the floggers and whips. The way the doors open I can't see inside and she hides the flogger she chooses against her leg so I'm left guessing as to which one it is.

She moves around behind me and runs the tips of her fingers along the row of lash marks from last night. "Remember, this is for pleasure." I nod. "But I still want to know if things are no longer green, understand?"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Good. We'll start with ten and go from there."

Ten. That's not very many. In fact that's less than she did the first time she ever flogged me. The first strike surprises me enough to have me yelping at the sting. It feels like she's using the cat-o-nine tails, the knots at the end land with dull thuds against my ribcage. I've never been forbidden from making noise; I just usually don't unless told to. But something about the combination of the spankings and the whipping and now the flogging has me crying out each time she lands a hit.

By the time she's landed ten lashes I'm riding a fairly nice wave of pain. Sweat has begun to drip down my arms and face and back. The sting of the salt in my fresh wounds has me twitching slightly in my bonds.

I wrap my hands around the chains holding me up and take as much of the weight off my shoulders as I can. I know I can hang here much longer than she'll demand me to but that doesn't mean that it isn't hell on my upper back.

"How are you, Dog?" She presses against my back and even though I watched her get dressed, I'm disappointed to feel the silk of her bra instead of the bare skin of her breasts.

"Green, Mistress."

"That was some pause before you answered, Dog. You're not lying to me, are you?"

I shake my head. "No, Mistress. I know the punishment for lying."

"Oh, yeah?" I nod. "And what would that be?"

"Thirty lashes with the cane." Luckily she's never had to use it on me but she has made sure I understand all the consequences of anything I might do; especially after I lied to her about Jameson.

"And you would never make me have to use it on you, would you?"

"I do my best not to, Mistress."

"Good." She steps back and runs one finger along a couple of the marks from the flogger. "Shall I continue?"

"Yes, please." My dick is once again hard and leaking. I'm fairly confident that I won't be allowed any relief but that doesn't matter. As long as she gets her pleasure because that's all that matters.

The whistle of the flogger slicing through the air is loud in the room and it is soon joined by my renewed cries of pained pleasure and panting breathes. The pain is so exquisite that I'm drifting on a high like none I've ever experienced, even by her hand, and I fail to notice when she stops flogging me and lowers the chain enough for me to stand flat footed. But I can't ignore her taking me into her mouth.

She doesn't do this often, even when we're having sex as equals, so it's always a surprise when she does. Her technique isn't perfect but it's more than adequate for getting the job done. She deep throats me while tugging on my balls and before I can stop it, I'm emptying myself down her throat with a hoarse cry.

She slithers up my body and takes my mouth in a punishing kiss, sweeping her tongue inside and sharing my taste with me. 

"Mm," she hums when she breaks the kiss. "I should probably do that more often." Just the thought of her blowing me more than she already does has my dick twitching and I'm sure if she did follow up on that statement it might just kill me.

She is very much aware of my reaction to her statement. She gives me a very suggestive look when she steps back, tossing her braid over her shoulder with a flick of her hand. "If you can get it up again by the time I finish uncuffing you, you can fuck me however you want."

My eyes slide closed in exasperation. She knows I probably won't be able to get hard again anytime soon but the promise of being able to take her however I want, something she hasn't allowed in a long time, is nearly irresistible to me. A softly spoken 'Dog' has me opening my eyes. Danni is standing near the controls and is fondling one breast while pushing the button to lower the chain. 

Before I met Danni I didn't think I was the type of man who went after certain… aspects of a woman's anatomy. But now I know I'm all about large breasts, muscular thighs and broad shoulders. I love playing with Danni's breasts, and she is extremely responsive to having her nipples tortured. I have discovered, to our mutual pleasure, that the more pressure applied to her nipples the better. If this thing between us ever gets to the marriage and children stage I'll be hard pressed to leave her breasts alone should she decide to nurse.

She's pinching her nipple between her thumb and forefinger, her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she twists and pulls. The sight is enough to get the blood flowing back south and I can feel my cock begin to swell. And by the time the chain is low enough that my hands are at my chin, I'm nearly fully hard again.

She saunters over to where I'm standing, her breast still hanging out of the cup of her bra, and slowly unbuckles the cuffs, her gaze never leaving mine. I've never seen her like this. That's not to say she's never been seductive before just that she's never been like this. 

She's looking at me through her lashes and rubbing one foot along my calf. Dropping the cuffs to the floor behind her, she leans forward and nips my chin and then licks the sting away. Running one finger down my chest she circles one nipple and my navel. "I knew if given the right incentive you'd improve that recovery time," she says and wraps her fingers around my erection, giving a light stroke. She swirls her thumb over the tip and smirks when I flinch. "So, Dog, what'll it be?" 

I swallow thickly and shove the image of pulling her to the floor and covering her with my body from my mind. While that is the position I want to take her in, this is not _where_ I want her. "Upstairs. In our bed. You flat on your back with your exquisite thighs wrapped around my waist."

She goes up on her toes and licks the tip of my nose. "Boring old missionary, huh? I did say any position you want." She spins around me and sashays out of the room. The look she throws me over her shoulder just before stepping through the door has me nearly tripping over my feet to get close enough to ogle her ass on the way up the stairs.

I spend the next several hours worshipping her body as I make slow sweet love to her. I manage to get her off more times than I ever have previously before my own orgasm crashes over me like a wave. 

The Navy taught me that shorter showers are better but I've learned to enjoy long ones as long as Danni's in the stall with me. Usually we just bathe each other but sometimes she has me finger her. This time, however, she pushes me to my knees and has me pleasure her with my mouth. It hits me while I'm on my knees, licking her pussy, that there has to be a reason she's allowing me to do my favorite things to her but damned if I can figure out why.

After I make Danni come apart with a strangled cry, she declares we need to eat. I haven't once thought of food since waking this morning but just the mention of it has my stomach rumbling loudly.

When we step from the shower stall, she pulls on a pair of clean panties that have taken up residence, along with several other articles of her clothing, in a corner of one of my drawers and one of my old Navy tees before braiding her hair again. I once asked her why she does that and she told me that when she doesn't have time to straighten it, braiding it makes the curls more manageable. I've told her before that I love her natural hair but she hates the fact that it's so naturally curly because she can't do much with it; it's why she kept it shoulder length when she was competing in gymnastic meets.

Downstairs in the kitchen we fix lunch together while chatting about just about each and every thought that pops into our heads. There are a few that I know I don't say out loud and I'm sure there are a few for her as well. Over the past few hours I've felt like something has shifted in our relationship and the thoughts that come to me (about us getting married and having a family) feel like they'd destroy whatever this has become.

After we eat and clean the kitchen, Danni takes me back into the playroom and we have several more enjoyable hours of her testing my limits.

It's near midnight when she declares it's time for bed. I drag myself up the stairs and fall face first into the bed, falling instantly asleep.

Several hours later something wakes me. I lie there with my eyes closed, trying to determine what it is. I'm completely unsuccessful, however, and so roll to my left to curl around the sleeping body of my Mistress but find the space empty and the sheets cold; it's obvious she either never came to bed or only slept for a short time.

Flicking back the sheets, I get up and grab a pair of sweats on my way out of the room, concern urging me to hurry. I search the entire upstairs, not really expecting her to be up here. My old room is still decorated the way it was when I left home and Mary's old room has been redecorated for Grace.

Downstairs, I search each and every room. I half expect to find her in Dad's office going over some case files; sometimes she gets an idea and refuses to wait in case she forgets it. Not finding her anywhere in the house, I go back to the kitchen and look out the window over the sink that looks out on the cove out back.

I think I can see a vaguely Danni shaped shadow down by the shoreline but in the pre-dawn light it's difficult to make out at this distance. So I step out onto the lanai and pause at the top of the steps. The warm ocean breeze brings with it the sound of someone crying and I know that it's Danni.

I've only ever seen her cry like this once: yesterday when she arrived here. That's not to say that Danni isn't emotional; she's not only female but also human. But she doesn't cry with great big sobs often, if ever. Danni is extremely tough and not much can make her break down.

Of course there are exceptions to this; with anything to do with Grace being at the top of that list. And what she told me when she arrived is a hell of a reason for her to fall apart.

I've always hated the rule that says I can't comfort her while in a scene (Dominants need after care, too) so I don't even hesitate, just march down the beach and curl myself around her where she's sitting on the sand just above the tide line.

She stiffens instantly and tries to shoulder me back but I won't let her.

"Let me, please, Mistress," I whisper in her ear. "Let me comfort you."

"No." She tries to pull away and I tighten my arms around her. "You need me to be strong."

"Fuck that. I need you to be you."

She makes a sound in the back of her throat. "I can't let you see me being weak."

"I don't see you as weak. Not even when you're like this."

She shakes her head and I notice for the first time that she's undone the braid and her curls look like a halo around her head. "I have to be strong."

"Who says you aren't?"

"I'm female, therefore I'm weak."

Her statement is like a punch to my gut. "Have I ever done anything to make you think I think females are weak?" A sob escapes before she can stop it. "Who has told you that being female makes you weak?"

"Steve, please!"

"No." I shake my head even though she can't see it since she's facing away from me. "You are exactly what I need. How you can think you are even slightly weak after all you've been through is beyond me. Not very many women would be able to do even half the shit you've done."

"I gave my daughter up! I was too weak to fight for her!"

Is that what this is about? "You did what you thought was in her best interest. You knew the fight would get ugly and that you might lose her completely so you chose the path that allows you to still be in her life!"

"But he uses it to control me!"

"So do something about it!" I manhandle her until she's curled up in my lap with her head tucked under my chin. Once again the words that I know she's longing to hear rush to the tip of my tongue and once again I bite them back. Now would be an excellent time to say them but something tells me she won't hear them the way I mean them. And so I try and convey their meaning with my actions: kissing her forehead, rocking her gently, and letting everything I feel for her wash over her via my touch while a chat of 'I love you' plays in my head.

I'm not sure exactly how long we sit there on the beach but by the time her sobs have stopped it is much lighter and she's shivering slightly despite being wrapped in my arms.

She takes a shaky breath and lets it out on a breathy sigh. "Take me inside."

It's a good thing I'm used to picking her up from the floor. I get my feet under me and stand, cradling her in my arms, with only a small grimace; it's not that she's heavy, she weighs about a hundred pounds less than what I do, it's just that the angle is awkward.

We manage to get a few more hours of sleep then spend the morning making out in the chair in the living room. Around noon she releases me from the scene and I immediately change into my board shorts before heading out for a swim. I stay in the water far longer than usual since I haven't been for a swim since Friday morning.

When I finally head in, Danni doesn't even look at me, just points upstairs. I chuckle and press a kiss to her temple as I pass where she's examining the contents of the cabinets.

After a shower (a three minute one), I come back downstairs and head to the kitchen, intent on assisting her with making dinner. I pause in the doorway and watch her moving around, getting ingredients together.

Danni's humming softly under her breath and a small secret smile is curving her lips. Something about the whole scene reminds me of my mother when she was first pregnant with Mary, not that I knew that at the time. Danni just seems so content with the world in this moment that I feel like my presence would not be welcome so I back out quietly and slowly count to twenty before making noise on my way back in.

For the rest of the day Danni doesn't quite lose the smallish smile curving her lips and I can't help but kiss it often as we watch an old Jets game on TV. Several times over the course of the afternoon I find myself wanting to ask what has her so happy, especially after how I found her in the early hours of this morning. But as with telling her how much I love her, something holds me back; if she wants me to know what that smile is about, she'll tell me.

The game ends around 5. She kisses me and goes to take a shower. This is the official end to our weekend; she always spends Sunday nights at her place. Per usual, I find myself fighting the urge to beg her to move in with me. I know she's finally found a place she really likes but really wish she had at least considered moving in with me. I mean, she did stay here for a few weeks before she found her current place and while I did bring it up once or twice, she shot it down each time; citing Stan as the reason.

After a night spent tossing and turning, I get up and head into work. When I pull into the parking lot, I find I'm the last of my team to arrive. This is a strange new development in the team dynamics and I'm not sure I like it.

I take the stairs two at a time and come to a complete stop when I push open the doors and see Danni in her office talking to some guy in a suit. Whatever they're talking about it must be extremely serious because Danni isn't waving her hands around. I've learned over the past two years that when Danni hardly moves her arms she's being at her most serious. I figure it must come from being on the witness stand because she can't exactly wave her arms around and be taken seriously.

Danni's nodding her head at whatever the man is telling her; I really wish I wasn't looking at them in profile because I'd kill to know what's being said. The guy looks like he could be a lawyer and if that's true I feel like I should be read in on whatever it is that has him talking to her, here and now.

"Hey, Boss." Kono sidles up to me and bumps my shoulder with hers, cradling a steaming cup in her hands. I acknowledge her presence with a nod of my head. "They've been in there since Chin and I arrived twenty minutes ago." She takes a sip. "Whatever they're talking about, it's serious and involves a lot of back and forth."

I turn my head and frown at her. "Meaning?"

"Her tires were cold when I got here and they seem to be taking turns talking for long periods of time."

Before I can even think of a reply, Danni gets up from her desk and marches around it to throw her office door open. "I'm sure the two of you have lots of work you could be doing. So, please stop staring at me, it's extremely distracting and I'd rather not close the blinds. Thank you ever so much." She then shuts the door as forcefully as she can seeing as it's made of glass, and goes back around her desk. She says something to her visitor and then stares at Kono and I until we scramble from the bullpen and into our respective offices.

Danni gives me the stink eye while I make my way into my office. I'm beginning to think that whatever her private meeting is about it has destroyed the good mood she was in yesterday.

The man eventually recaptures her attention and I try to get some work done but it's difficult when I can tell that she's not happy and when all I want to do is fix it. So I settle for playing solitaire on my computer and keeping one eye on her office.

When I see her and her guest stand, I focus intently on the screen, hoping she doesn't know I've been waiting for him to leave. I see her walk him to the main doors of the office and chew my lip while figuring out the timing for this. I have to catch her before she can lock her door against me but if I go too soon, she'll force me back into mine and then just walk out.

I'm on my feet by the time I see her headed back in my direction and I'm on her heels in time to crowd her into her office. "God, Steve! Give a girl some room to breathe."

I stop just inside her office and watch her stalk around her desk before flopping into her chair. "Who was that man and why was he here?"

"He-" She stops talking and looks out the windows into the bullpen. "No, ya know what? I'm not gonna tell you who he is or why he was here."

I frown at her. "What? Why?"

She swivels back and forth in her chair and finally looks back at me. "Because it's none of your business."

"Of course it's my business."

That seems to confuse her. She leans forward and props one elbow on the desk. "And just how do you figure that? Hm?"

"Because…" I can't find the words to answer her.

"Because…?" The way she's leaning on her desk lets me see down her shirt but I refuse to let my gaze dip that far below her face.

"Because I'm…" One of her eyebrows climbs her forehead. I make a frustrated sound in the back of my throat. "I'm…" _Fuck! Just say it, McGarrett!_ "I'm your…" I flop my hand in a circle to encompass everything we are.

"Oh, no," she says with a humorless chuckle. "You are so gonna have to do better than that." She stands but stays behind her desk. "What are you, Steven? My _what_?"

I bite my lip and pace a circle away from her. "I'm your-" God, I _hate_ this word. "-boyfriend. Okay? I'm your boyfriend."

"Oh, you're my 'boyfriend', are you?" She stomps around her desk and gets right in my face. "You even know the definition of the word, Steven? Huh, do you? No, you do not. And I'll tell you why." She points at the chairs in front of her desk. "Sit and I shall enlighten you." She growls low in her throat and throws her hand out again when I don't budge. "I fucking said SIT!"

I all but fall into the chair her visitor had been sitting in. "D…"

"Do not 'D' me, Steven." She slaps her palms on the desk, making me jump. "A 'boyfriend' is someone who takes you out on occasion. And I'm not talking to the gun range or the beach; and no, a stakeout doesn't count either." She's obviously pissed about something, I'm not sure I'm to blame but I'm willing to take it; whatever she's pissed about it has her practically vibrating in place. "When I say 'date' I mean out to dinner or a movie or a museum or dancing. And for the record, a dinner date is when you go to a restaurant with tables, preferably inside the building but outside can be romantic so long as they have linen tablecloths and real china and silverware."

When she stops talking, she's panting and she drops heavily into her chair, running one hand through her hair. "You have never taken me out. Yes, you've cooked for me once or twice and that can be considered a date but a girl needs more, Steve."

She may be ranting about my definition of 'boyfriend' but something tells me this is about so much more. "I would love to take you out but you've always said that we have to keep it where Stan can't see."

"So not the point, here, McGarrett."

"You're right. I'm sorry." I lean forward and reach for her hands. "I'm sorry, okay?" She lets me cover her hands with mine. "So who was that guy?"

She snatches her hands back and jumps to her feet. "Got out of my office."

"D…" She doesn't let me finish, just comes around the desk to wrap her hand around my left triceps and tug me to my feet. "I said get the fuck outta my office!"

I'm so stunned that I allow her to push me out the door and shut it in my face. She turns her back and slides down the door to sit on the floor. I crouch down and touch the glass where her head is resting. I want nothing more than to open the door and take her in my arms but I know that in the mood she's in it won't go over well.

"Steve?" Chin's soft voice reminds me of where we are.

I stand up and turn to face him. "Yeah?"

"We got a lead."

Nodding, I knock on the door to Danni's office. "Danno, we got something."

I don't bother waiting for her to leave her office, just make my way to the computer table where Chin and Kono are looking at something. I take my place on the side of the table where I can see her exit her office.

She doesn't even look at me when she joins us at the table. I barely hear any of what Chin tells us about the new lead. Danni keeps her head lowered and asks questions while pointing at things on the table top. When she finds something interesting, she flicks it up to the overhead screens.

I obediently frown up at the file she's brought to our attention but I have no clue what I'm looking at. And it would appear that none of my team has noticed my inattention; and they call themselves detectives.

After several minutes it becomes apparent that they're finished discussing things and are waiting for my instructions. "Okay, Chin, you and Kono go run down this lead. Danni and I will go question the family of the suspect and talk to the victim and the witnesses again." I look at the three of them, only Danni refuses to meet my gaze. "Everyone okay with that?" I wait for them to nod. "Excellent. Let's go, people." I spin on my heel, headed for the parking lot.

Danni joins me nearly five minutes later smelling like mint. I glance over at her and frown. "You okay?" She turns her head to stare out the window, totally ignoring my question. I take and release a deep sigh and put the car in gear. "Alrighty, then."

We spend the morning going from house to house on our list. At each house, Danni pulls one of the women to the side and whispers something in her ear before disappearing only to reappear just as I'm finishing my questions, once again smelling like mint.

I keep sneaking glances over at her as I drive. The urge to ask her again if everything is alright is high and I'm finding it difficult to keep my mouth shut. But somehow I manage and hate myself a little more for each second I let the silence between us stretch.

It's nearly noon when I open my mouth and ask, "You about ready for lunch?" She gives a non-committal shrug and I'm sorely tempted to take her to a place that serves loco moco in Styrofoam containers and has you eat in your car. But her words from this morning in her office are ringing in my ear so I decide to take her to the type of restaurant I'd take her on a date; she never said it had to be at night.

Danni's in just pissy enough of a mood to force me to round the car and open her door. When I do, she breezes past me with her nose firmly in the air and I know I've put my foot in it this time. I find myself reaching out for her and force my hand to close in a fist as I pull it back.

The pretty girl at the hostess station smiles at me which has the undesired effect of having Danni glare at me over her shoulder. I lift my shoulders and open my eyes real big, trying to tell her without words that I didn't do anything.

"We'd like a table for two, please." I step up beside Danni and put my left hand on her waist where the hostess can see it. Her smile turns from flirtatious to the kind you give to a small child you think is cute. "If we could have one inside but with a view of the ocean, that'd be great."

"Of course. If you'll follow me?" The hostess picks up two menus and begins weaving her way through the tables that dot the floor until she stops at a table for two set in a corner that boasts an excellent view of the ocean for the both of us. "How's this?" She holds out one hand in the direction of the table.

"It's perfect." I scoot around Danni and pull out one of the chairs. Danni tosses her hair over her shoulder and sits down, assisting me with pushing it closer to the table.

With another sweet smile, the hostess hands us the menus. "Dave will be your server this afternoon. He'll be right over to get your drink order. Enjoy."

"Thank you." It's the first words I've heard out of Danni since we left the office this morning.

I reach over the table, holding my hand out with the palm up, silently begging her to take it. When she just fiddles with her napkin, I curl my fingers closed and slowly draw my hand back. "Look, Danni, I'm sorry, okay? Whatever I did to piss you off, I'm sorry." She clears her throat and looks out the window at the ocean. "I'm sorry, okay? I said I'm sorry, sincerely sorry. That's what I've been trying to say since we met. Two years ago." Her lips twitch at the words I said to her after our first fight on that very first day. "Forgive me, please?" She shrugs and I take it to mean that my apology has been received and is pending. "You'll let me know when you forgive me. Right?" She glances at me out of the corner of her eye and quirks that brow.

I swear, if I didn't love her so much…

I sigh and open my menu. And mentally cringe. I forgot she's not big on seafood and this is one of the nicer, yet less expensive, seafood places on the island. "I know you don't care for seafood." I look at her over my menu. "We can go somewhere else."

"It's fine." She flips open her menu and gives it a quick look before closing it again. "If you'll excuse me." I manage to get half-way out of my seat before she's stepped out from behind the table and is making her way toward the bathrooms.

Dave comes by while she's gone. I'm not sure what she'll want to drink so I just order her some ice water with lemon. And since I'm starting to get hungry, I order some fried calamari.

Dave delivers the calamari just as she comes back around the corner. He's in my way so I can't help her with her chair.

Once he leaves, she takes a sip of her water. "I wasn't sure what you'd want to drink."

"It's fine. I probably should cut back on the caffeine and I can't exactly have a beer while on the clock." As if that's stopped us before.

"I got calamari because I know you like it."

She finally looks at me while she spoons some of the sauce on her bread plate before scooping some of the fried squid next to it. Swirling one piece around in the sauce, she pops it in her mouth, a small smile of satisfaction curling her lips.

We've eaten most of the calamari before Dave comes back. "Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

Danni swallows the sip of water she had just taken. "Yes. I'd like the lobster stuffed tilapia."

"Excellent choice. What kind of vegetables would you like with it?"

"Sautéed squash and zucchini."

"Perfect. And you, Sir?"

"Hm." I look over the menu one last time. "I'll take… the… Chilean sea bass with seasonal veggies."

"Very good, Sir." Dave takes our menus and, with a slight bow, walks away.

In the two years since Danni and I met, we've never had so much as a second of awkward silence. Until today. I cannot for the life of me find a single topic to discuss that won't piss her off any more than she already is and I don't want to ruin what just might be our first real date.

By the time Dave brings our food, Danni has torn apart three pieces of bread and is working on a fourth, the crumbs littering the table in front of her. He sets our plates down with a flourish. "Enjoy." He smiles at Danni. "Would you like some more water?"

"Yes, please." He steps away for a moment and returns with a pitcher of water and a pitcher of tea and fills both our glasses at the same time.

For the rest of our meal, our glasses are never empty. This guy is getting a hell of a tip.

Danni mostly picks at her meal, something I've never seen her do before; the woman loves to eat and it's something I truly love about her. "Not hungry?"

"Huh?" She blinks at me like I just woke her from a nap. "Oh, uh, um…" She chews her lip and takes a small bite.

The expression on her face tells me that the fish all but melted on her tongue. And that one small bite is obviously enough to spark her appetite because she begins eating like the Daniel Williams I know and love.

We're about half done when I realize we never talked about what happened on the beach yesterday morning. "So,-" I talk a sip of my iced tea and wipe my mouth with my napkin. "-can we talk about yesterday morning?"

She puts her fork down, wipes her mouth with her napkin and sits back in her chair, taking her time chewing her bite. "I am so fucking sorry that I had a brief female moment. Won't happen again, Commander, I promise."

Despite her blank face her tone and use of my rank tell me that I've thoroughly pissed her off. "That's not…" I drop my own fork and scrub at my face with both hands. "Danni, I care about you, okay? Seeing you so completely lost threw me. You are one of the strongest women I have ever met but that doesn't mean I expect you to always be strong." My mouth goes dry in the face of the anger that's banked in her eyes, so I take another drink of my tea. "You can show emotion and still be one strong ass female." I run one hand through my hair and tug in frustration. "I just wanted to talk about what caused your momentary break down, that's all."

"And I told you." She shoves her plate away. "We should be getting back to work. It's been over an hour."

"I just want to help."

"There is nothing to 'help' with."

"You obviously took me as your submissive for a reason. But I can't do my job properly if you shut me out."

"We're done." Her tone is frigid as she picks up her purse and holds out her hand for the keys. I'm not totally confident that she won't leave me here, she's that pissed at me, but I also know she'll continue to stand there with her hand out until I hand them over.

With a sigh, I dig them from my pocket and slap them into her palm. She narrows her eyes at me. "You can punish me later."

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" I meant mine as a joke but I'm not so sure she means hers the same way.

"I would, actually. How about after I pay you take me home and make it so I have to stand at work for the rest of the week?"

She clenches her fist around the keys, spins on her heel and marches from the restaurant. I blow out a harsh breath and wave Dave over for the check. Luckily I have enough cash on me to pay with and make sure Dave gets a more than twenty percent tip. I tuck the bills into the receipt wallet and carry it with me on my way out, handing it over to Dave when I see him finish with a table. 

"Keep the change." I pat him on the shoulder and continue on my way out the door.

Some of the tension I'm carrying in my shoulders eases when I see Danni fuming in the passenger seat of the Camaro when I turn the corner of the parking lot. I slide behind the wheel and buckle my belt. "I meant it, Mistress." I make my tone as submissive as I can while I turn the key in the ignition. "You don't look like you feel well. I can call Chin and tell him I'm taking you home."

She scoffs. "So you think I look sick enough to call in sick for the rest of the day but I'm obviously well enough to blister your ass?"

I shake my head and point the car in the direction of the next name on our list. "Just trying to help, Mistress."

When I stop the car at a red light, she grabs a fistful of hair at the back of my head and pulls so that I'm looking up at the ceiling. "You had best not be in your fucking headspace."

"Of course not. Just trying to appease you." _Liar!_ I'm always partially in my headspace when she's around. Over the past two years I've learned how to work around it.

"You better not be lying to me." She lets my hair go with a slight push.

I put the car in gear and pull through the intersection when the light turns green, my dick pressing hotly against the buttons on my cargo pants.

We spend the afternoon much like we did the morning with one difference: she doesn't disappear on me more than twice and each time she comes back she doesn't smell any different than when she disappeared.

By the time I pull into the parking lot at The Palace it's after 5. I back the Camaro into its spot and cut the engine. We sit there for several seconds before I turn slightly in my seat. "Paperwork can wait until tomorrow." She nods. "I don't know about you but I could use a good hard spanking to ease the tension in my shoulders."

She shakes her head. "While you do deserve to be punished, you don't deserve a spanking." She looks over at me. "Your punishment is as follows: you will go home, strip and watch TV while kneeling in front of the TV. I don't care what you watch. You will not touch your cock, not even to piss. You will text for permission to do anything, including piss. You will be given further instructions as the night progresses. Now get the fuck outta my car."

I'm stunned. She's never once put me under without being there to watch. I lick suddenly dry lips and fumble for the door handle but before I can find it, she climbs over the gearshift and straddles my lap. Taking my face in her hands, she holds it still while she attacks my mouth. All I can do is grip the steering wheel.

Once she's finished, she climbs back into the passenger seat. "I said get the fuck out."

I open the door and fall out onto my hands and knees. She shuts the door once I've scrambled to my feet and has the engine roaring to life before I realize I now need to piss. I tap on the window. She rolls it down and huffs at me. "I have to piss."

"Can you hold it?" I nod. "Then do so." Up the window goes and then she's flooring it out of the parking lot.

I drive home on autopilot, feeling myself step further down into my headspace with each passing mile. It isn't until I'm taking position between the coffee table and couch that I realize this means that she still wants my submission. The relief that thought brings has me sagging back against the couch.

No sooner does my back touch the edge than my cell alerts me I have a text. I pick it up and thumb it on.

_No leaning. Kneel in front of the coffee table._ I look around, fully expecting her to be hiding somewhere. My phone beeps again. _Apparently you think I'm playing._

I quickly obey her command while replying. _Apologies, Mistress._

She doesn't respond and I settle in to watch some mindless sitcom. I've never been one for watching TV, the odd football or baseball game with Danni or movie with Grace notwithstanding, so I've never seen this show before. Luckily most sitcoms are designed with the casual viewer in mind.

About an hour later I reach for my phone to ask what I'm to have for dinner just as it beeps.

_Put your pants on and answer the door. You have thirty seconds._

I jump up and run up the stairs where I grab my sweats, pulling them on while running back down the stairs just as a knock sounds on the door. Pulling the door open, my nose is assaulted by the unmistakable smell of pizza from our favorite place: Mama Gina's.

"Ah, pizza!" I hold up one finger. "Give me a sec to get my wallet." 

I start to turn away but the delivery driver stops me. "It's already paid for." He hands me the receipt. 

"Right. Forgot I had my girlfriend use my card." While signing the receipt I notice that Danni has also already tipped the driver. My eyes narrow at the amount; it is well over the ten percent I normally give. "There ya go, brah."

"Mahalo, Uncle." He dips his head, hands me the pizza and walks back to his car.

My stomach starts rumbling as I contemplate kicking back and munching down on some pizza with a nice cold Longboard. I drop the pizza on the coffee table and spin toward the kitchen but before I can take even one step, my phone beeps again. Snagging it off the floor where I dropped it earlier, I pause when I read the message. I rub my eyes and read it again, convinced I've read it wrong, but it still says the same thing: _Water only. No beer. I know exactly how many you have._

I grit my teeth and growl in my throat. Here I was looking forward to an ice cold beer and now all I'm allowed to have is _water_. Tossing my phone at the couch, I stomp into the kitchen and get a glass of water. 

Back in the living room, I thump the glass on the coffee table, pull my pants back off (she didn't say to but I'm sure she just forgot) and resume my kneeling position just as my phone beeps. A quick look at it shows that I was right about the pants; she forgot to mention it in the text telling me no beer.

"What are the chances she bought me my favorite toppings?" I toss back the lid of the box and discover that not only did she _not_ get my favorite toppings, but she got me a plain cheese pizza; my least favorite kind. When Mistress punishes me she doesn't mess around.

I eat all but the crusts of only a few slices and am thinking of texting that I'm tired when my phone, once again, beeps. Wondering what she could possibly have to tell me now, I pick up my phone. I sigh in aggravation when I see _Eat every single bite of every single slice. You have twenty minutes to finish._

She knows I don't eat the crust, instead leaving it for her and Grace. I'm beginning to think she has a hidden camera in here somewhere so I make a big show of eating every fucking bite. After three slices I have to text requesting another glass of water. It's granted and I'm warned off of making such a big production of eating my pizza, which confirms that she has a camera hidden in my living room.

A little over an hour later she texts me again. _You may go to bed now. I will text you in the morning. DO NOT get up before then._

I head up to bed, knowing I'll be getting a late start which will more than likely have me arriving to work late but also knowing I wouldn't have it any other way.


	6. Chapter 6

It can be…interesting…working with two people who are sleeping together and trying to hide it.

It's no secret that Steve and Danni are having sex; even if they didn't fall into bed when most people think they did. I know that Danni wants to keep her 'relationship' with Steve quiet for several reasons; her asshole of an ex being at the top of that list. She's already confided in me that he's accused her of sleeping her way onto the team.

Of course nothing could be further from the truth. And if he truly knew her, he'd know she has more integrity than that.

Steve has told both Chin and I how he conscripted her into being his partner. And of course that was supported by how pissed she was with him for the first several weeks we all worked together. Not even him buying her and Grace a weekend at the Kahala Hotel could keep her from looking at him like she'd like nothing better than to punch him again. And oh, how I hate that I missed that.

The officers that were there said it was amazing to see this woman just haul off and slug a man nearly a foot taller than her. Of course he brought it on himself by twisting her arm behind her back when she poked him in the chest which was in retaliation for using Grace to tug at Danni's heart strings and try to get her to do what he wanted.

Friday Steve was a bit all over the place without Danni's grounding presence. I heard him cursing her having to go to court for an old case at one point during the day. To say that Chin and I agreed is a major understatement.

I've taken to keeping track of the weekends where Steve and Danni have time to themselves and I know this was one where Danni did not have Grace. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing at this point. On the one hand, Steve and Danni complement each other perfectly but on the other hand, Danni hasn't seen Grace in three weeks now due to cases that didn't get wrapped in time. Or rather just one big case that was finally wrapped on Thursday; just in time for Danni to testify in court.

But yesterday morning it was proved that it was a bad thing because Danni refused to speak to Steve all day after the two of them had a very loud and ugly argument. An argument that Chin and I couldn't help but overhear, the offices are most definitely _not_ soundproof. But of course Chin and I both have been pretending that we didn't hear a thing.

But today's a new day and I'm extremely hopeful that Steve took Danni home and fucked her back into a good mood. Or at least gave her enough orgasms that she slept her bad mood away.

When I pull into the parking lot I can see the Camaro in its usual spot. And, just like yesterday, Danni has beaten me into the office. I don't know what's going on with her and I'm not sure I like it. Very few things can be counted on to remain the same: Steve is always the first to arrive with Chin and I usually arriving at the same time and then Danni arrives just ten minutes later.

Except this week. Apparently her and Steve have decided to swap routines with her being the first one in and him being the last.

Inside, the office is empty and the lights are still off. My brows lower in a frown of confusion. I _know_ Danni left last night; after spending the day interviewing witnesses Danni dropped Steve off so he could get his truck and then she drove home. I also know it's her Camaro in the parking lot because I have the Camaro's license plate memorized, along with Chin's and Steve's; and it's parked in her spot.

Backtracking through the bullpen I head toward the bathroom. Pushing the door open I can hear someone puking their guts out.

"Danni?" I round the wall blocking the main part of the bathroom from the hallway and make my way to the handicap stall at the end where I find Danni standing over the toilet, her waist length hair clasped in one hand and the other braced on the wall next to her. "Danni, are you alright?"

"No," she groans before bending over and puking again.

"Does this have anything to do with that thing I found on your desk Friday?"

She spits into the toilet and looks at me over her shoulder. "You went through my desk?"

"What? No! I went to put a file on your desk and I saw what appears to be a positive pregnancy test on your desk."

She shakes her head. "No. It was locked in my drawer."

"No, it was lying right there on top."

"Fuck!" She punches the metal wall of the stall. 

"I tried texting you but you never responded."

Danni takes a deep breath before puking up some stomach bile. Guess she's puked up everything for now. "I got your text right before going into court and then I spent the afternoon with Grace."

"And then the weekend with your ankles behind Steve's ears?"

She straightens up and walks over to the sink where she rinses out her mouth before splashing some water on her face. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

I raise both my eyebrows. "Please. I have eyes and I'm a damn good detective. You are not as subtle as you think."

Our gazes lock in the mirror and I can see the fear of discovery in hers plain as day. "You can't say anything, Kono. Promise me."

"Hello, you must be new here." I step up to lean one hip against the counter to her left. "I know how to keep my mouth shut, Cousin, you know that."

"But Steve-" I know where she's going and interrupt her with, "Don't worry. I know this is something he needs to hear from you and not anyone else." She leans on her hands with her head hanging and something occurs to me. "He _is_ the father, right?"

Her head snaps up and she glares at me in the mirror. "You don't-" Again I interrupt her. "Please, Danni. Give me some credit, okay? I think it's great. He'll make a great father."

Danni shakes her head. "That may be but that doesn't mean he _wants_ to be a father."

I scoff at that. "Please. I've seen him with Grace."

"So he gets along with my daughter. Again, that doesn't mean he wants to have kids." She drops her gaze to where she's gripping the counter white knuckle tight. "Stan is great with kids as well but he didn't want to be a father."

"Steve is not Stan. Steve loves you to distraction." She begins to shake her head so emphatically that her hair falls from its swept back style into her face. "Don't shake your head at me, Daniel Williams. Anyone with eyes can see it. I assure you he'll be ecstatic that you're pregnant." 

"Oh, so now you're an expert on all things Steve McGarrett?"

Leave it to Danni to use humor to deflect from the issue at hand. "Compared to you? Absolutely not. But I've seen the way he looks at you and Grace and let me tell you, that is a man who wants a family so bad he can taste it. So, yeah, in this case I'd say I'm more of an expert than you." She takes another mouthful of water, swishes it around and then spits it into the sink. "You been to the doctor yet?"

"When would I have had the time?" Danni takes a deep breath in through her nose and releases it slowly through her mouth. "I only took the test Friday."

That's surprising, considering where I found it. "You came into work to take a pregnancy test?"

"I bought it Thursday when I ran some errands on my lunch but forgot about it until on my way to the courthouse Friday morning."

"So that's why you refused to let Steve go with you to lunch Thursday. Makes sense."

She nods and swallows thickly. "Yeah." She squeezes her eyes shut and bites her lip. I can tell she's trying to keep from dry heaving. After a very long moment, she takes a sip of water from her hand. "I have an appointment at 2 today."

"Tell him. Today. And then take him to your appointment."

"I can't do that, Kono."

"And why not? He's the father. I'm sure he'd want to go to as many as he can."

"I haven't ever told you about when I told Stan, have I?" I shake my head. "We'd been dating for close to four months and sleeping together for six weeks. I had my annual visit and the doctor told me that I was around six weeks pregnant."

"Holy fuck!"

"Yeah. Imagine my surprise since I have never had sex without the guy wearing a condom and I've been on The Pill since I was sixteen. But it turns out that about half a percent of all women can get pregnant while on some form of hormonal birth control even if the guy wears a condom. And I just so happen to be in that half percent."

"And you're still willing to have sex? Wow."

"Could you refuse Steve if he tried to seduce you?"

"Um…" I had entertained thoughts of Steve and I in those first weeks before it was obvious that he was already head over heels for Danni. The awkwardness of the question has me looking everywhere but at her; which, of course, answers her question.

"Yeah. I thought so." She turns around and leans back against the counter with her arms crossed over her chest. "I was shocked at first but by the time I left the doctor's office I was excited. Stan and I had made plans for lunch that day and I was looking forward to telling him." She shifts and crosses her ankles. "I come from a very loving family and have always wanted to be a mom. I never once thought that there might be people in this world who don't want children. I mean, it's just the natural order of things for people to pair off and reproduce.

"We hadn't ever discussed the future. We were just enjoying being together in the moment. I got to the restaurant early and anxiously waited for him to arrive. When he got there I just blurted out that I was pregnant." She closes her eyes and one tear slips down each cheek. "Just the night before he'd been so loving. He had taken me into the city where we had dinner at a four-star restaurant, then went dancing and spent the night in his penthouse." Her eyes snap open and the anger in them has me feeling very glad I'm not Stan. "He told me he loved me. I was beginning to see a future with this man. My parents and brothers already approved of him.

"But the instant those words were out of my mouth-" She swipes one hand across her mouth as if wiping away a bad taste. "-he changed. Gone was the loving charmer who showered me with expensive gifts and in his place was an angry man with the money and resources to take my child from me.

"He called me a bitch, a liar, a gold digger!" Her laugh is hollow and filled with pain. "He never did understand that I didn't _want_ his money. That was never why I was with him. I really, truly thought I was in love with him. It wasn't until I met Steve that I realized I have never been in love before; in fact, I've only ever truly loved one man before Steve.

"I was served with paternity papers a couple of days later. Luckily my doctor doesn't believe in doing an amniocentesis without a good reason and according to him, doing a DNA test before the baby's born doesn't qualify. He told the court that in a healthy woman doing an amnio could cause the woman to miscarry."

"Is that true?"

She shrugs. "Who cares? The court believed him. On top of the paternity, Stan was already starting custody proceedings."

"Seriously? You weren't even out of the first trimester, yet!"

"I'm aware. My brothers and parents helped as much as they could with the lawyer costs. I finally finished paying him just last year."

"Well, that explains the shit hole you lived in until recently."

"That and child support."

"You have to pay support to that fucker?"

"It's the law, Kono. Non-custodial parent always pays support."

"Surely he doesn't need the money?"

"Of coruse he doesn't. That's why we set up a college fund that can only be accessed by us both once she's graduated from high school."

"Smart."

"Yeah. So you see why I can't-" She rolls her hand in a circle instead of _using her words_. "-with Steve, right?"

"Yeah, I get it. But I'm still going to say this _one more time_ : Steve is not Stan."

"I know that." I start to scoff but she stops me with, "No, I do!" She runs the fingers of one hand through her hair. "I know that here-" She taps her heart. "-but here-" She taps her head and shakes it. "-it's not that easy." She scrubs her face with her hands. "I _hate_ that I can't stop punishing Steve for Stan's mistakes. I mean, I love Steve more than I thought possible but…" Her voice trails off and I can see just how much she's still hurting over the way Stan treats her.

I don't even think, I just reach out and wrap my arms around her shoulders. She collapses almost immediately, her sobs wracking her frame. "It'll be okay, Danni." I stroke my hand down her hair. "Just tell Steve. He'll be over the moon. You'll see."

"I can't, Kono! I can't lose him. Not like this."

I want to call her a stupid haole but don't because it won't help any. "Okay, enough." I push her back and wipe the tears from her face with my thumbs. "If you don't tell him _today_ , I will. Understand?"

"Kono…"

"Nope." I shake my head and cross my arms over my chest. "You tell him before your appointment today or I will. I'm serious."

She heaves a deep sigh. "Fine." 

"Might want to brush your teeth, if you have a toothbrush and toothpaste. I bet Chin and Steve are here already."

She digs in her purse before pulling out a travel sized tube of toothpaste and a toothbrush. After applying a generous amount of the paste to the bristles, she starts aggressively brushing her teeth. I wince in sympathy for her poor gums. "Chin may be here already but I know Steve isn't," she says after spitting and rinsing. "In fact, he's just left his house." She turns her phone so I can see all the texts Steve has sent her so far this morning.

"And why is he texting you his every move?" She just raises one eyebrow since she's swishing a mouthful of mouthwash. "Seriously?"

She spits out the mouthwash and takes a sip of water from her cupped hand. "Why not? Is there some reason why I can't top a man like Steve?"

"Not at all." And there's not. I've seen men more macho than Steve submit to women much more feminine than Danni. "I just never guessed that that was the type of relationship you two had, is all."

"That's kinda the point." She puts one hand to her stomach and the other to her mouth before sprinting to the toilet and dry heaving for several minutes.

I wet a paper towel and carry it to her. She takes it with a weak sounding "Thanks" before pressing it to her face.

"Feel like you can be more than five steps from the toilet?"

She groans low in her throat. "Yeah. I think so." She takes a moment to be absolutely sure, then nods and steps back over to the sink where she pulls out her toothbrush and brushes her teeth again. "It figures that this kid would be the one to make me sick. It must hate me," she says after spitting and rinsing her mouth.

"Considering it's about this big-" I hold up my forefinger and thumb about an inch apart. "-and is completely indistinguishable from any other mammal, I doubt it hates you."

She gives a bark of humorless laughter. "You just wait until you're puking up your toenails because of a baby growing in your belly." She shakes a finger in my face. "I _will_ remind you of this."

"Yeah, I'm sure you will." I pull the bathroom door open and see Chin coming up the stairs.

"Morning, ladies," he greets us with a smile. "Boss not in yet?"

Danni shakes her head. "No. He's running late."

One of Chin's eyebrows quirks up. "Steve? Steven McGarrett? Running late?"

Danni shrugs. "That's what he said." Her tone is casual but I know that she put Steve on a schedule that differs from his usual one and that's why he's running late. He must be so annoyed.

I hold Chin back and let Danni enter the office ahead of us. He frowns down at me. "What gives, Cuz?"

"I have definite proof that Steve and Danni are fucking like rabbits."

He sighs. "Must you be so crude? I know I raised you better than that." I just grin at him and he rolls his eyes. "So what is this 'definite proof'?"

"Danni's pregnant."

"And you know this how?"

"I just caught her puking up her guts in the bathroom. Plus she told me."

"And did she give you permission to tell people about this wonderful turn of events?"

"Well, no. But she only stressed that I'm not to tell Steve."

Chin sighs. "Kono, you know she meant not to tell _anyone_."

"But you're not _anyone_!"

The exasperated look is back on his face; the one he wore quite often when I was growing up. "Now you're just looking for excuses. This is Danni and Steve's news. They will share, or not, as they want. I bet if you hadn't caught her throwing up she wouldn't have told you yet."

"I'm her best friend. Of course she would have told me."

"Before Steve?"

"Before Steve, what?" Speak of the devil.

"Um…" I look at Chin for help but he just shrugs and enters the office. "Coward!" I call after him and he flips me off over his shoulder. "Morning, Boss! How was your night?"

Steve gives me an odd look as we enter the office side by side. "It was fine. And yours?"

"Good, good; it was good." I can see Danni staring at us from her office, her brows lowered in a frown. "Uh, well, I got work to do!" I hightail it to my office where I seriously think about locking myself in.

The way the bullpen is laid out I can't see Danni and Steve's offices from mine but I can walk past them whenever I leave it. And I make sure to do so several times. Each time I find Danni bent over some paperwork or typing away on her computer. A glance into Steve's office shows him doing similar things along with speaking on the phone, probably to the Governor.

About ten minutes before I normally head to lunch, when we're not busy that is, I make one more pass by Danni's office and catch her turning green and trying really hard to not puke into her trash can.

I march into her office and pull her up out of her chair by the arm. "You're telling him right now and then you're going to the doctor."

"Kono…"

"Nope. I've given you most of the morning and you haven't done it yet." I snatch her purse off the couch on our way out the door.

Across the hall, I push open Steve's door. "Hey, Boss. Got a minute?" Steve looks up from the paper he was writing on and frowns at us. "Danni has something she needs-" Danni saying my name on a whimper interrupts me and when I turn to face her I can tell she's about to puke. "Go! Run!" I push her in the direction of the bathroom. She runs right out of her shoes.

I turn back to find Steve has left his chair and is so close I bump my nose on his chin. "What's wrong with her?" The concern in his voice is heartening.

"No time. Just go after her!" I shove Danni's purse into his arms knowing that he'll most likely drop it once in the bathroom and will find the pregnancy test which will force her to tell him.

When he doesn't move fast enough, I shove on his shoulders. "Just go!"


	7. Chapter 7

Kono shoves something into my midsection just before shoving me in the direction that Danni just ran off in. As I slowly follow, I'm still totally confused as to what's going on and how it relates to Kono, I'm distantly aware that the thing that was used to drive the breath from my body is Danni's purse. 

Now my confusion includes wondering why I have to take the purse with me. Danni hardly ever uses one. She keeps her driver's license in her badge wallet along with a credit card, she wears slacks with pockets so if she feels the need to carry cash she can and I usually have the keys to the Camaro in my pocket so she doesn't have to worry about them.

While on my way out of the office, I stop and pick up Danni's shoes; she's gonna want them when she's done doing whatever it is she's currently doing.

When I get to the landing outside the office doors, Danni's nowhere to be seen so I make an educated guess and head for the women's room. Pushing the door open slowly, I can hear the sound of someone retching.

"D? You alone?"

"Yes," she moans before puking again.

"You okay?" I make my way around the wall that blocks the inside of the room from the view of the people passing outside. I find her standing over the handicap toilet holding her hair back from her face. "If you're sick, why'd you come in?"

"'m not sick." She puts the lie to her words by bending over and puking up nothing but bile.

"Coulda fooled me." I toss her purse at the counter, not really caring if it misses or not, so that I can have both hands free to take care of her.

As luck would have it, I miss the counter and the contents of her purse spill out onto the floor. "What-?" She turns slowly at the sound of everything spilling out onto the floor. "Just leave it, Steve," she says when I crouch down and begin scooping everything back into the bag.

"No, it's fine. I got it."

I've gotten almost everything back in when she says my name in a tone that I've never heard outside of a scene. My hand closes over the plastic baggie that she was just reaching for. I notice it's wrapped around something about the length of a pencil. I give the baggie a little flick of my wrist to unwrap it and find myself staring at a pregnancy test. Correction: a _positive_ pregnancy test.

I twist on the balls of my feet and slowly raise my eyes to her face. She's leaning heavily on the metal wall that separates the stall she's in from the one next to it with her eyes closed. "Danni. Danni, look at me."

She shakes her head and a tear slips down her cheek. "I can't."

"Is this your pregnancy test?" It says a lot about her state of mind that all she does is nod her head. "I see." But I don't. Not really. It's obvious that she's known for a while now and hasn't told me. Maybe she wasn't planning on ever telling me. "Is it mine?"

Her eyes snap open at that and the anger that blazes in them is hot enough to burn. "I can't believe you just asked me that!"

I stand up and toss the offending piece of plastic in the direction of the sink and listen to it clatter against the porcelain. "What the fuck am I supposed to think, huh? We've never fucked without a condom until this weekend. I may not know much about pregnancy and all that shit but I do know that it doesn't happen that quickly!"

"Please believe me when I say I didn’t plan for this to happen." I've never seen her like this. It's almost as if she expects me to condemn her for something that's completely out of her control.

"You've said that Stan didn't react well to the news that you were carrying his child and now you expect me to react the same way. Is that it?"

She's back to refusing to meet my eyes. "Lots of men wouldn't react well to the news of an unplanned pregnancy. I expect no less from you."

"So what you're saying is you expect me to get angry because nature took its course and despite all our precautions you're pregnant?" I have to pace away from her when she nods her head. "You obviously don't know me at all. How can you even think that I'd react like that piece of shit that donated sperm to make Grace? I am not him! Please do not paint me with the same brush."

"So you're happy about this?"

Something in her voice cuts through my anger and I step closer and lower my voice. "Are you?"

She looks up at me. "I have no idea how I feel about this."

I nod my head. "That makes two of us." I pace back over to the sink and pick the baggie up, examining its contents. "How long have you known?"

"I began to suspect about a month ago when I missed my period. But when I didn't have one this month despite no longer taking my pills I went and got the test to be sure."

"And that doesn't answer my question."

"Friday. I found out Friday."

I spin to frown at her. "Is that why you stopped by before court?"

She nods. "I had bought the test Thursday but forgot about it until Friday morning."

"So, that's it? You're definitely pregnant?"

She shakes her head. "I have an appointment this afternoon to have it confirmed by my doctor."

"I see. And how does he confirm it?"

She smiles a bit. "You really want to know?"

I narrow my eyes at the mirth dancing in her eyes. "Yeah, no. I'll pass." It suddenly fully registers just how long she's known. "Wait." I hold up one hand, palm out. "You took the test Friday." She nods, her pallor getting greener as the seconds tick by. "And you didn't think to tell me _once_ over the following three days? Two of which we spent the entirety of together?" She bites her lip and looks away. "Is this why you decided to stop using condoms?"

She shrugs. "It's not like I can get any more pregnant."

Now I'm getting pissed. "Why didn't you tell me? I had a right to know before now." Two tears slip down her cheeks and I know why she didn't tell me. "Mother fucker! I am not Stan! I would never treat you the way he did."

"I'm sorry but you have to understand-"

"No-" I talk over her. "-I don't have to do shit except make sure you get it through your fucking skull-" I tap the side of her head with the tip of my finger. "-that I fucking love you and will never fucking leave you."

She blinks at me much like she did when I kissed her that first time. "Say that again."

"I'll never leave you."

"No, before that."

I have to actually stop and think about what I just said. Then it clicks and one corner of my mouth quirks up in a half smile because I have a better story of how I told her than she does. "I fucking love you."

When I reach for her, her eyes widen just before she turns and dry heaves over the toilet several times. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting. "Is this normal? I was only four when Mom had Mary so I don't remember much."

"No. This is not normal."

I make a decision that I'm sure will have her screaming at me once she can be away from the toilet long enough. "Where's your phone?" Grabbing her purse off the counter, I start digging through it.

"Steven." She tries to take her purse from me and we have a small tug of war before I give a harder pull and get it away from her. 

Turning my back, I finally locate her phone. Holding her off with one hand, I scroll through her contacts. Luckily for me she's just anal retentive enough to have a note next to the entry for a Doctor Meegs that he's her doctor.

I press the send button and listen to the phone ring three times before it's answered by a female voice. _"Doctor's office."_

Why can't they announce the name of the doctor? "Is this Doctor Megs' office?"

_"It's Meegs; two E's. And yes, it is. How may I help you?"_

"My girlfriend is a patient and has an appointment for this afternoon."

_"Sir, I-"_ I interrupt her with, "I know you can't confirm that, especially since I didn't tell you her name. I'm calling to see if you have an earlier appointment available."

_"Her name?"_

"Danni Williams."

_"She got the earliest one available when she made the appointment, Sir. But let me check and see if we've had a cancelation since then."_ The hold music has barely started when she's back. _"If you can have her here in twenty minutes the doctor can see her."_

"Twenty minutes. You got it. Thanks." I press the off button and drop her phone back in her purse before picking it up and holding it out to her.

"I hate you so much right now." She snatches her purse from my hand and marches out of the bathroom.

"You said all this puking isn't normal. I would like to know if everything's okay. Wouldn't you?"

"What I'd like is for people to stop butting into my affairs!" She spins around on the last step and points a finger in my face. "And since when am I your girlfriend? Especially since you had trouble calling yourself my boyfriend just yesterday!"

Wincing at the volume with which she says that last word, I shrug. "Since we admitted we have feelings for each other."

"Oh, really?" She settles her weight on one foot, crosses her arms over her chest and taps the toes of her other foot. "When did you tell me you have feelings for me? Hm? I'd really like to know because I apparently missed it!"

I scratch the back of my head. "That night I came over after Cath and I talked."

"So you said the words, 'Danni, I like you.'? Because I have never heard those words from you before just now-" She flings out one arm in the direction of the bathroom. "-in the middle of a fucking argument!"

"Well, no. But I said it with my actions!"

"Unbelievable. Completely unbelievable," she mutters, stomping the rest of the way to her car.

She slides behind the wheel and the look on her face dares me to argue about it. "Should you be driving?" I ask, climbing into the passenger seat.

"I'm barely pregnant, Steven. We can have this discussion again when I can no longer see my feet." She turns the key with a vicious twist of her wrist and then peels out of the parking lot which has me grabbing for the handle above the window.

If this is how I drive, no wonder she's always complaining. 

We arrive at Kapi'olani Medical with nearly ten minutes to spare. She surprises me by using the valet but I guess it saves time searching for a spot.

Normally she's the one having difficulty keeping up with me but today I'm finding myself nearly jogging just to stay two steps behind her. 

The journey through the hospital and up the elevator is done in complete silence. The one time I start to say something she gives me such a quelling look that I have to quickly readjust myself. And if I'm not mistaken, she smirks a bit at that.

The door to her doctor's office looks just like every other door in the hall with absolutely nothing to tell it apart from any other office. And inside is no different, either.

When she opens the door, I step back out to make sure we're in the right place because the generic beige walls do not scream OB/GYN.

"Danni!" The nurse behind the window greets Danni like she's a dear friend.

"Sally. How are Jim and the kids?"

"They're good. How is Grace?"

"Couldn't be better."

"Why are you here, today?"

"Pregnancy check."

The nurse - Sally's - face lights up but she doesn't express her excitement. "Is this happy news?"

Danni looks at me from the corner of her eye. "Not sure yet."

Sally looks at me and raises one brow as if to say, 'Well?' before turning back to Danni. "His job's already done, though and you've raised Grace just fine." Suddenly I feel like I'm missing something extremely important; something I'm sure I'd know if I was female.

"I suppose."

Sally's smile is a bit forced. I don't think she likes me. "Have a seat. Margo will come get you in a minute."

I follow Danni around the wall blocking my view of the rest of the waiting area and here is the room I had been expecting. The walls are covered with posters with everything from how to take care of your body before, during, and after pregnancy to the proper way to breastfeed.

On a little table in the corner is a stand full of pamphlets. I head over and reach out for one that says it's about what to expect during the last trimester. 

"You don't want to read those."

I turn to find Danni trying to not laugh at me. "Why not? These are things I need to know, right?"

"Yeah, sure but not from those."

"Again, why not?"

She steps closer and lowers her voice. "You like playing with my vagina?"

"Um, yeah."

"Then don't look at those." She tugs on my arm. "I'll get you some that are for someone other than the woman who's pregnant." I look back at the table with its informative pamphlets and let her drag me over to a couple of chairs near the door leading into the inner office. "Here-" She hands me a magazine with some sports star on the cover. "-this _Sports Illustrated_ is only a month old."

I know as a man I should be more into sports than I am but I'm from a state that doesn't have any professional teams and I've been mostly out of touch with the world for a long time. I have no idea who the top sports stars are or anything about any team other than The Yankees and The Jets. And I only know those two because those are the teams Danni follows.

The door to the inner office opens before I can even sit down. "Danni." The nurse, I'm guessing she's Margo, smiles at Danni. "You look well."

I frown at her over Danni's head but she's not paying me any attention. Woman must be half blind. Anyone with eyes can see that Danni's pale and looks like she's spent the morning puking. "Well, she's not," I say stopping Margo from closing the door in my face with my right hand. "She's been throwing up most of the morning."

Margo frowns up at me before turning back to Danni. "Is this true? You know we're not a GP, right?"

Danni glares at me over her shoulder, her lips a thin line. "I'm aware. I took a pregnancy test Friday that came back positive. I'm here for confirmation."

Margo's face splits into a wide grin. "That's awesome news." Then she seems to pick up on the tension. "It is good news, isn't it?"

"We haven't decided yet," Danni says at the same time I say "It most assuredly is." Danni and I have a staring contest for a long moment before Margo clears her throat.

"Danni, if you would-?" She holds out one arm toward the scale. "I know you were just here last month but you know how it goes."

"Yeah." Danni kicks off her shoes and steps onto the scale.

Margo sets the weights to what Danni obviously weighed when she was here last but the bar doesn't move so she moves it down and it balances. "Huh," she huffs and writes the number in Danni's file.

"What does 'huh' mean?"

"Steve." Danni warns me off with a shake of her head.

"No, there is no reason for a nurse to _ever_ say 'huh' while weighing you."

Danni sighs and turns back to Margo while stepping off the scale and back into her shoes. "He's right."

Margo looks between both of us. "I guess if you brought him to an appointment it's okay for him to hear." Danni nods. "You've lost ten pounds since you were here last."

"Huh." Now it's Danni's turn to utter that word. "I haven't changed anything."

Margo shrugs. "It happens sometimes in the first month of pregnancy."

"I didn't lose any when I was pregnant with Grace."

Margo smiles. "Each pregnancy is different, Danni, you know that."

Danni nods and follows Margo into a room where she sits down on the exam table. "Yeah, I know."

"What's his story?" Margo asks while she gets the stuff ready to take Danni's vitals.

"He's the father."

Margo gives me a look and I'm fairly certain she's finding me lacking in some area. "You sure about that?"

They share a smile and chuckle. "Positive. He's the only man I've been with in the past six weeks."

"Is that how far along you think you are?" Margo wraps the blood pressure cuff around Danni's upper right arm and inflates it.

"No. I think I'm four or five weeks. But that's part of why we're here."

Margo frowns at Danni once she's finished taking her blood pressure. "Your pressure's high. You really need to avoid stress while pregnant, you know."

"Yeah, I know." She holds one hand out toward me as if making introductions. "Margo, may I introduce you to 'Stress'?"

"Hello, Stress, nice to meet you." Margo says before they break down in giggles.

"But seriously. With him as a partner I'm lucky I haven't suffered a serious injury yet."

"Hey!" I can't just stand here and let them talk about me like that.

Danni swivels her head to look at me. "You got me shot less than twenty-four hours after we met."

"It was just a graze. It didn't even scar."

"And you get me shot at on a near daily basis."

"Not a 'near daily basis'. Maybe two or three times a week."

"Seriously? You're going to split hairs, here?" If this is what she's saying with me present what has she told them about me before now?

Margo clears her throat. "You have the test you took?"

"Yeah, it's in my purse." Margo hands her the purse.

Danni digs out the baggie and hands it over. "Oh! This is the test we use. They're very reliable."

"So it can't be a false positive?" Is it my imagination but does Danni suddenly sound like she doesn't want to be pregnant?

"Not likely. But Doctor Meegs will be able to tell you for sure."

"And exactly how does he do that?" I probably should just keep my mouth shut but I don't like not being included in a conversation.

"Danni?" Margo raises one brow at her. "You want to tell him?"

"Not really."

"Would someone just tell me?"

"No, sorry. You really don't want to know so why don't you just leave?" The expression on Danni's face isn't one I can easily identify but I know a challenge when I see one.

"Yeah, no dice, Babe. I'm not going anywhere." I widen my stance and settle my weight on the balls of my feet.

"Then stand here." She grabs my arm and pulls me further into the room until I'm standing at the head of the table. "And don't move."

Margo hands her what appears to be a paper blanket. "You know what to do with that." She gathers Danni's file and opens the door. "The doctor will be right in."

As soon as the door shuts, Danni jumps down from the table and walks over to a little curtained area that has a bench attached to the wall. When she begins taking off her pants I stop her.

"What are you doing?" 

She slips off her panties, I absently note that they're plain white cotton, and tucks them into a fold of her pants before wrapping the paper blanket around her waist and walking back to the table and climbing back up on it.

"How do you think he's going to check me?"

"But… your…" I wave my hands at her crotch area.

"Yes, he's going to look at my vagina. Even stick his hand up there."

"But… but…" I'm at a total loss here.

"How do you think the baby comes out?"

"You had a C-section with Grace."

"Yes, I did because she was feet first breech. It was a planned surgery because nothing they did made her stay head down. But in a normal delivery the baby comes out the vagina. It's what it's there for."

"But I like your vagina!"

She chuckles at my answer. "I like it too. But again, this is what it's for."

"But his hand!"

She cups my right cheek in her left hand and leans over to kiss me. "Yes, his hand. Just like you had your hand in there Saturday morning." Well, not _just_ like, but I can see what she's trying for. Her vagina is designed to stretch and when she comes for her yearly he probably does something similar.

Before I can respond, the door opens and a deep masculine voice says, "Danni! Back so soon?"

I'm not exactly sure what I expected Doctor Meegs to look like other than older with white hair, but I do know that the young man that enters the room isn't it. Doctor Meegs isn't much older than Danni and I, maybe in his early forties, with sandy brown hair that is still thick and only slightly peppered with grey (unlike my own black hair which has been showing the grey for ten years now). It's obvious he's one of those doctors that practices what he preaches because the body under the light green scrubs is in excellent shape.

"I just couldn't stay away." Danni smiles at him and I feel my blood pressure go up a few notches as jealousy rears its ugly head.

"I see here that you think you're pregnant."

"Yeah."

"Hm. How far along do you think you are?"

"Four, maybe five weeks."

"Based on?"

"I was supposed to have my period four weeks ago."

"Right. You always schedule your appointment the week before so that you don't have any lag in your cycle." He's been washing his hands through their entire exchange and now he dries them on some paper towels. "Who's this?" He jabs his thumb in my direction.

"Steve McGarrett." I step forward and extend one hand.

Meegs shakes it. "McGarrett?" His brow crinkles in thought. "I know that name." I can tell the instant he figures it out. "You're the head of the task force Danni works on."

"And her partner, yes, Sir."

"Well, this is taking responsibility for your employees a little far, isn't it, Commander?"

I can't tell if he's joking or not. "I'm the father."

"I see." He shares a look with Danni. "Bit slow isn't he?"

"Excuse me?"

Danni puts one hand on my arm and I immediately begin to feel my blood pressure return to normal. "He's just pulling your chain, Steve. He knows who you are." She turns back to face the doctor. "It's been an emotional kind of day."

"Of course." He slips his hands into gloves. "You don't mind if we do this without a nurse, do you? They're all busy closing for lunch." Danni shakes her head. "Good. In the stirrups you go, my dear."

With a sigh, Danni puts her feet in what I'm guessing are the stirrups and scoots down until her head is in the middle of the table. She looks up at me. "Remember: stay on this end." I nod, still stunned that a strange man is about to put his hand up my girlfriend's vagina.

Meegs sits on the rolling stool and rolls until he's between her spread knees. "Okay, Danni, little pressure," he murmurs.

Danni winces. "Is he hurting you?" My protective instincts kick into high gear and I regret leaving my gun in the car.

"No, it's just uncomfortable. He has big hands."

"You'd think a gynecologist would have small hands."

"You'd think. Just be glad I didn't become an urologist."

My brain locks up a bit at the thought of someone with his large fingers performing a prostate exam on me. "Yeah. For men everywhere, please let me say thank you for that."

He chuckles a bit and stands up so he can press on Danni's abdomen causing her to wince again. "Yep. Definitely enlarged. And it's slightly bigger than when you were here last month."

Danni props herself up on her elbows. "My uterus was enlarged last month and you didn't say anything?"

"It's always slightly enlarged when I see you due to the lining thickening in preparation of a pregnancy."

"Oh."

He pulls off his gloves and pats her outer thigh. "I'd say you're anywhere from seven to nine weeks."

"How'd you get that figure?" She sits up all the way, clutching the paper blanket around behind her to hide her gorgeous bottom.

"The uterus doesn't start to enlarge like this, or even like I felt it last month, until the zygote implants which happens two to three weeks after conception."

"Zygote?" That's a term I've never heard before.

"Yeah." Meegs washes his hands again. "The zygote is the fertilized egg."

"Oh. Why's it take so long to implant?"

"That's how long it takes to travel from the fallopian tube to the uterus."

"Makes sense." Danni nods.

"I want to do an ultrasound today to make sure it hasn't implanted in your scar and narrow down how far you are so we can guesstimate a due date." He picks up her file and opens the door. "So get dressed and come to my office so we can discuss the do's and don'ts and I can give you your prenatal swag." And with that he's out the door, shutting it softly behind him.

Danni gets up from the table and uses the paper blanket to wipe between her legs. I look between her and the door several times. "He just had his hand-" I gesture at my crotch.

"Yes, he did."

"I've never had more than four fingers in there."

"And now you know I can take more." She steps into her panties. "Want to fist me? I'll let you if you want to."

"Fist…" I think my brain has short circuited at the thought of fisting her.

She finishes getting dressed and steps into her shoes before crowding into my personal space and capturing my lips in a heated kiss. "Who would have thought that having you watch another man shove his hand up my pussy would get me so fucking hot? God! I could take you right here."

"B…but you…you won't. Right?" I've never shied away from sex before but something about the thought of sex in the exam room where it was confirmed that I'm going to be a father just doesn't seem appealing.

She steps back and sighs. "No, I'm not. Even I'm not that kinky." She opens the door and I follow her out into the hall.

When we pass a bathroom, I stop her. "I'm just gonna…" I nod at the bathroom.

Danni shakes her head. "No, you're not."

My dick is hard and leaking and I really don't want to sit in the doctor's office and pretend it's not. "Danni-" I start but she doesn't let me finish.

"You will not touch it, Dog." Oh, so that's how it is, huh? My cock twitches at her tone and use of my name. "You will keep that hard-on right where it is because I have plans for it later."

She would have to say that as she's opening the door to Meegs' office. The image of what she just might have in mind has me stumbling a bit and if the smirk on the doctor's face is any indication, he heard and knows why I nearly tripped over my own feet.

Danni takes the chair closest to the door, forcing me to have to all but climb over her to get to the other one. Surely he could afford a bigger office? Or maybe just get a smaller desk? The thing is huge and takes up a good three-fourths of the room. "So,-" He hands Danni a small gift bag. "-here's you prenatal swag. It has some pamphlets in there with information that has changed since you were last pregnant." He reaches into a drawer and pulls out a stack of pamphlets. "And these are for you. You'll find they have all the same information as the ones in the waiting room but without the detailed pictures of the vagina and other female bits."

"I love her vagina." I have no idea why I said that. I can feel the heat of a blush exploding in my face.

Meegs gives me a small smile and when I look over at Danni she's grinning hugely at me. "I know you do and I love how much you love it. But trust me. You _do not_ want to see the pictures in the pamphlets designed for women. Hell, I'm a woman and _I_ don't want to see them."

"I'm sure I could handle it."

"No, really, you can't," Meegs says. "I was engaged to my wife during my gynecological rotation. I couldn't even look at her naked the entire time. And just like you, I love vagina. So please, do the both of you a favor and don't even look this stuff up on the internet."

"Yeah, okay." I start absently flipping through the pamphlets, only half listening to what Meegs is telling Danni.

"Do drink more water. Do cut out _all_ caffeine."

That catches my attention and my head snaps up. "Whoa, let's not be too hasty here, now. You ever seen her without her morning cup of coffee?"

He laughs. "She's aware that caffeine is now off limits. Aren't you, Danni?" She nods. "You can drink herbal tea and eat lots of fruit that have a high caffeine content."

"I thought you just told her no caffeine?"

"Natural caffeine is better than the artificial kind that you'll find in coffee."

"Oh." I go back to my pamphlets. They really are quite informative, if a bit juvenile.

"Do continue to exercise. Don't do gymnastics or anything that puts pressure on your abdomen. Yoga and Pilates are best."

"I already do both."

"Good. Commander?" I look up and find them both staring at me. 

"What? Did I miss something?"

"No. Do you have any questions?"

"Sex?"

"Sex is still okay. Nothing that puts pressure on her abdomen, though. So no bending her over a table or counter." My blush is getting hotter. "You'll find her sex drive will go into high gear, if it hasn't already and then disappear before coming back stronger than ever."

"So we can have sex as long as she's in the mood?"

"Until we get closer to the end. Orgasms and semen can trigger contractions so we caution against both starting in about the seventh month."

"Anything else I should or shouldn't do?"

"If she has a food craving, get it for her. Craving something means she needs some nutrient in that food." He looks over at Danni. "Any questions?"

"Nope. Not much has changed in the past eleven years."

"Yeah, this is one thing that tends to stay the same." He pulls out a prescription pad and scribbles on it before ripping it off and handing it to her. "Here's a script for anti-nausea medicine." He scribbles again and hands that one to her, too. "And one for prenatal vitamins." A third script joins the growing pile. "And calcium. These are horse pills so you might want to cut them in half. But take both halves at the same time."

"Okay."

"Okay." He stands. "I had the technician get the ultrasound ready. We'll take another later so you can actually see the baby." He walks around the desk and leads us down the hall to a dark room with what looks like a computer sitting on a cart next to a bed.

A young woman is fiddling with something on the monitor. "Jasmine, this is Danni and her partner, Steve. All we need today is to make sure the zygote hasn't implanted in her C-section scar."

"You got it, Doc."

Danni lies down on the bed while undoing her pants and pulling them and her panties down enough to expose her scar and unbuttons the bottom few buttons on her shirt before tucking the ends around her back. Jasmine squirts some goop on Danni's stomach. "It's warm."

"Yeah. We've found the warmth makes the babies move more than cold."

"And I'm sure the women you use it on don't mind either."

"Of course not." Jasmine presses some buttons on the machine before placing what looks like a microphone to Danni's belly, pressing down and moving it to smear the goop around. "First we'll make sure it's not in your scar, okay?"

"Sure."

Jasmine looks up at me and smiles. "There's a chair behind you, Dad."

Dad. A name I never thought would apply to me but thanks to Danni, and the Fates that brought her into my life, I'll be answering to it this time next year. A lump forms in my throat and to cover my emotional response, I turn and fiddle with the chair for a long moment. Once confident that I won't embarrass myself, I turn back around and sit down in the chair, my attention fully on the grainy black and white image on the monitor.

Jasmine and Danni both stare at the screen as if they know exactly what they're looking at, and while I believe Jasmine does know (she _is_ the ultrasound technician after all), I wonder just how much Danni knows. "I'm not seeing anything near your scar, which is the most beautiful scar I've ever seen, by the way."

"Thank you. It was a planned C-section so they were able to take their time cutting me open and sewing me up."

"Let's see just where this little one is, now, shall we?" She moves the wand up Danni's belly in sweeping circles until she pauses up near Danni's belly button. "Here we are." I lean forward, trying to make heads or tails out of what I'm seeing. "See this shadow, here?" Jasmine points to a darker spot near the top of the screen. "That's the sack. And this bean shaped spot here-" She puts the cursor on the spot. "-is the baby."

"It's not very big." I frown at the screen. I'm not sure what I was expecting, the image in the pamphlet Meegs gave me was a couple of inches long but the image on the screen looks to be about a quarter that size.

"It'll get bigger." Again I feel like I'm being made fun of.

"I'm sorry for making stupid sounding statements but this is all new to me. First time father and first real relationship. When it comes to all things female I'm kinda at a loss. So please stop treating me like I'm an idiot."

"Steve." Danni puts one hand on my neck. "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way."

I shake my head. "It wasn't you. It was all the nurses. They've been acting like I should know these things."

Jasmine and Danni share a look. "I'm sorry I came across like that. We don't get a lot of men in here and the ones we do don't usually ask questions."

I nod sharply once. "Fair enough. Now about the size of my kid: the pamphlet shows it as about two inches but that's barely an inch."

"That's because the pamphlet has it blown up to show detail." Danni rubs her thumb in circles on my neck. I want nothing more than to lower my head and let her run those magnificent hands of hers all over my body. As it is I'm nearly purring in contentment at her touch. "And that's why Doc said we'd take another ultrasound later when the baby's bigger."

"Yeah, at the next one you'll be able to watch it move around and see its heart beating as well as the spine." Jasmine presses a couple more buttons. "Speaking of the heart beating, do you want to hear it?"

"It has a heartbeat already?" Danni looks confused and if she's confused then something's not right.

"It does." 

"If I'm barely out of the second month it shouldn't have a heartbeat yet."

"Oh, did I forget to mention that it looks like you're closer to the end of the first trimester?" She looks between Danni and I. "Yeah, judging from this little one's size I'd say you're about ten weeks."

"Well, fuck." Apparently Danni doesn't know how to count.

"Ten weeks, huh?" Jasmine nods. "Well, I guess I can stop feeling guilty about the condom breaking six weeks ago."

Danni raises her head and glares at me. "I'm sorry, what?"

I shrug because how can I explain why I didn't mention it? "Yeah. I didn't come so I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was going to say something later but…"

Danni drops her head back down with a low growl and presses the heels of her hands to her eyes. Before she can say anything, however, what sounds like an unbalanced washing machine fills the silence.

"Is that…?" I point at the image of my child on the screen.

"Yes, that's the heartbeat."

I laugh. "I did that!" Danni smacks me on the arm. "I mean, I did that. To you! I - we - fuck!" Laughter keeps bubbling up and I don't try to keep it in. I haven't had much to laugh about in my life but this… This right here is every reason in the world to be happy.

When I finally sober up, I'm distantly aware that something has changed in Danni's demeanor. I don't think much of it because I'm going to be a father! I lean over Danni's belly and whisper a promise to her belly. I don't think the baby can hear me yet but I don't care; it's a promise that needs to be said so I say it. And I will repeat that promise every day for the rest of my life.

"Hey, Jasmine?" She turns from where she's examining the image and raises her brows at me. "Could I get that emailed to me?"

She smiles at me. "Sure. Danni, would you like a copy, too?" Danni shakes her head and starts wiping the goop off her stomach with the tissues Jasmine hands her.

I give Jasmine my email address and then pull out my phone, impatiently waiting for the email to come through. When it does a few seconds later, I immediately save the picture as the wallpaper, rubbing my thumb lovingly across the white shape that is my child.

I can't stop looking at the image and so I hook one finger in the strap of Danni's purse so that I don't get lost on the way out of the office.

It isn't until we're waiting for the car from the valet that I realize they didn't take any blood; the pamphlets say that blood should be taken often but most definitely at the first prenatal appointment. "Shouldn't there have been some blood taken?" I put my phone away so I can slide behind the wheel for the drive back to work, totally surprised when she lets me.

"The nurses were ready for lunch so it was decided I'll go back."

"Okay. When will that be?"

"Does it matter?" The sharp edge to her tone has alarm bells going off in my head but I ignore them.

"Kinda, yeah."

"Why? It's not your blood they'll be taking."

I glance over at her, fully expecting her to be turned sideways in her seat so she can glare at me. But she's sitting stiffly facing forward. "I'd like to go to as many appointments as possible, that's why."

"This isn't an appointment. All I'll do is stop in one morning before I've had breakfast. They'll take a couple vials of blood and I'll be on my way."

"Alright, then. How about your next prenatal appointment?" I look over at her again. 

Something is definitely off about her. For one, I've yet to see her touch her belly except to clean off the goop used for the ultrasound. For another, she seems almost angry for some reason. As I watch, a tear slowly makes its way down her cheek. And then it hits me. Everything she said to the nurses and the doctor now adds up: she doesn't want to have my child.

I keep sneaking glances as I drive and finally, when we're nearly home, I can't take it any longer. "Danni, look, um…" This is harder than I thought it would be. "I, uh, whatever you decide to do, I'll support you."

Her head whips around and she narrows her beautiful blue eyes on my face. "What did you just say to me?" Her voice is cold as ice.

I swallow thickly, beginning to fear for my life. "I know you don't want this child so whatever you decide, I'll stand by you."

"I don't-" She chokes on her anger. "Pull over."

"Are you going to be sick?"

"Just pull the fuck over!" She reaches over and grabs the wheel, turning it toward her which forces me to pull onto the shoulder.

She has her door open and is stepping from the car before I've brought it to a complete stop. I've always said that Danni is exquisite when angered and now is no exception. She paces angrily away from the car and I jump out after her after turning off the ignition and pocketing the keys.

"Danni, I don't know what to do. I'm thrilled about this baby but you're obviously not." I catch up to her and have to duck when she spins and throws her wicked right hook because I've learned from the last time she was this angry with me.

But of course I should have been paying a bit more attention because she's able to drop me like a stone with a left hook. Pain explodes behind my right eye and I know I'm going to have a black eye come tomorrow.

"I cannot believe you would say that to me! To me, of all people! You obviously don't know me at all." 

I shake my head, trying to get rid of the double vision her punch has caused. Turning my head the slightest bit I can see her dancing around where I'm still on all fours. "'m sorry." I slowly get to my feet, feeling gently around my right cheekbone, wincing when I hit a sensitive spot. "But what am I supposed to think, huh?" I spread my arms out wide. "You were telling everyone at the doctor's office that you weren't sure if this was good news or not. And just now, in the car, you were angry at me and then I saw a tear slide down your cheek."

"I never said I don't want this baby."

I pace away from her lest I give in to the urge to shake some sense into her. "What other conclusion should I have come to? All those things put together tell me that you don't want to have my child."

"That's not-" She stops talking so fast I'm afraid I'll get whiplash. 

When she doesn't continue, I approach where she's standing, staring at the ground. "Then what, Danni? Just talk to me! You're the one who puts so much stock in words. I'm here, I'm listening. Whatever it is, we can deal with it together. But not if you _don't talk to me_!"

"You have to understand!"

"I don't have to understand shit, Daniel! Especially if it has to do with that prick that sired Grace. I am not him and I am so sick and tired of defending myself against his mistakes." I pace away from her again hoping that by not looking at her she'll feel comfortable telling me whatever it is that has her so upset. When she doesn't say anything, I turn back. "Okay. I am done. You hear me. _Done_! You let me know what you decide to do about _my_ child and we'll take it from there." I start toward the driver's side door but my name uttered on a barely audible sob stops me in my tracks.

I turn back to face her and have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from rushing to her side and folding her into my embrace. "I thought I loved Stan and that he loved me back. He used to tell me all the time that he loved me. Until I got pregnant." She shakes her head and wraps her arms around herself. "Everything changed the instant the words were out of my mouth." She raises grief stricken eyes to mine. "In hindsight I should have chosen a more intimate setting to reveal the news but I was just so excited.

"I had never thought I'd have children. Oh, I've always wanted to be a mother but there had only ever been one man that I saw myself settling down with and we broke up in college. Despite what Stan thinks I did not start envisioning the two of us as a happily married couple. Would it have been nice if he had proposed?" She shrugs. "Maybe. I can't really say. Do I expect you to propose? No. And if you-" She points one finger at me. "-propose now I will refuse."

Danni takes a shuddering breath and looks away. "Stan called me a gold digger; said I got pregnant on purpose. He tried to get the courts to force me to take a paternity test before Grace was born and he filed for sole custody right away.

"Luckily my doctor was able to convince the court to wait until I delivered for the DNA test." She bites her lip and turns her back, her shoulders shaking as she sobs over Stan's treatment of her. "I knew that if we went to court he would use my job against me and could possibly deny me even visitation so I requested we go to a mediator. I was surprised when he agreed.

"My demands were simple: Grace carries the Williams name, she lived with me while I was nursing her because she needed to eat during the night and I would get every weekend plus four hours during the week along with every other Thanksgiving and Christmas, Spring Break and six weeks in the summer once she no longer needed the night feedings. I got everything except for every weekend. He refused to allow me that but gave me an additional four hours on my weeks without her."

I can't fight the urge to comfort her any longer and approach where she's standing to slip my arms around her waist. She immediately turns to bury her head in my chest. "I had her for a solid two months. At her two month check-up her doctor said she didn't need the night time feedings any more. I would have 'forgotten' to tell the court if Stan hadn't been at the appointment. He insisted on attending each one. I guess so I couldn't 'forget' to tell him something like that. He took her right then. Just buckled her back into her car seat, carried her out to his car and drove off. By the time I got to my apartment, his people had already removed all her things. Including all the breast milk I had stored in the freezer."

She takes another shuddering breath. "I had insisted on being allowed to continue to nurse her during the day so I was still able to see her. But I was only allowed to go to his house three times a day. I had been nursing her six to eight times and suddenly I was down to three." She tips her head back and rests her chin on my chest. "My milk dried up after two months and she never took to formula so he had to hire a wet nurse."

I cup her face in my palms and wipe her tears with my thumbs. "I would never do that to you. I love you. You are this child's mother and as such you are much more important than I. Especially during that all important first year."

She goes up on tip-toe to press a kiss to my lips. "I'm trying, Steve. Please be patient with me."

"So why haven't you even touched your belly?"

She buries her head in my chest again. "I guess I'm in denial. Twice now I've conceived while taking The Pill and using a condom."

"But you're happy, right? I mean, that you're having my baby?"

"Yes, Steven. I'm happy that I'm having your baby."

I bury my face in her hair and just breathe; trying to come to grips with everything I've learned today. Several minutes pass and I have to wonder what the passing cars must think of us standing here, embracing by the side of the road. I've just about got myself under enough control that I can safely drive us home when the whoop of a siren startles us. Danni just shifts closer but I look over at the radio car idling a few feet from where we're standing.

"Everything alright?" Duke leans out the passenger window and gives us both the once over.

"Yeah. Just making up from a nasty argument."

"Yeah, I can see that." He chuckles and points at his own right eye.

I shrug. "What can I say? I still haven't learned to duck."

"At least she'll keep you in line." Duke and I share a grin. "If you're sure you're okay…?"

I nod. "Yeah, we're fine."

"Okay, then. Best be getting on home. Looks like rain."

"Of course it does," Danni mutters into my chest. "It always rains in this God-forsaken, pineapple infested hellhole." I tighten my hold on her shoulders to let her know I heard her and she just butts her head against my sternum.

"Thanks, Duke. You take care, now."

"You, too, Steve. Danni." Danni still doesn't move from where she's trying to become one with me, instead she just waves her right hand. Duke taps the door of the car and his driver pulls back into the flow of traffic.

"Really? You're referring to the birthplace of your child, and its father, as a 'hellhole'?"

"Sorry. Old habits."

"Hm," I hum, turning so I can push her in the direction of the car. "Want to tell me why you were crying? I mean, if you're happy then why the tears? And don't try to tell me they were happy tears because I know they weren't."

"Oh, so now you know me better than I know myself?"

"Oh, c'mon! You weren't giving off happy to be pregnant vibes, here, Danni. I do know you well enough to know when you're happy."

Her shoulders slump. "You don't get it, okay?"

"So explain it to me. I swear I'm in this for the long haul. And before you say anything else, know that I think you're a great mother. My child is the luckiest kid in the world, after Grace of course, to have you for its mother. I will never take that from you. Ever."

Danni sighs and I realize that I really don't get it. Despite everything we've just said, I still do not fucking get it. And nothing I can say right now will convince her otherwise. Until she tells me what's wrong, that is. 

She pulls open the door of the car and flops down into the passenger seat. "After Grace I swore that I'd never do this again."

"This being, having a kid out of wedlock?" She nods. I crouch down in the open door and rub circles on her right knee. "Yeah, well, life's what happens when you're busy making plans, ya know." She chuckles a little. "I love you. I love our child. I can't wait to raise it with you." I lean in and kiss her. When I pull back, her eyes are all soft and full of tears. "What? What'd I say?"

Her lower lip trembles and she shakes her head. "You're just too good, you know that?"

I give her a small smile before standing, walking around the front of the car to slide behind the wheel and continuing on our way home. The whole way I try to figure out just what it is I said that made her look at me like that and end up having to give up before I give myself a migraine. 

Two days later we're holed up behind some shipping crates, taking fire from some scumbags that have taken exception to our trying to serve a warrant.

Watching as she pops up to take some shots at the assholes on the other side of the warehouse, I'm suddenly struck by just how much I love her. I make a decision and scoot back until our backs are touching.

"Hey, D?" I fire a few rounds around my corner of the crate.

She fires around her corner. "Yeah?"

"I love you." She snorts and I take it as her saying 'tell me something I don't know'. "I want to marry you."

I feel her turn to face me before her small hand tugs on my shoulder, forcing me to turn to face her. "I'm sorry, what?"

I grin at her. "I love you and want to marry you."

She rolls her eyes at me. "I cannot believe that this is the moment you pick for this! A woman only gets one proposal in her life. It should be perfect and romantic. Not during a fucking shoot-out!" She waves the hand not holding her gun.

I transfer my gun to my left hand and slip my right onto her belly under her vest. "When I look at you, I see our future; I see us as an old married couple surrounded by our children and their children. I want to be able to walk into a room, see you there and think 'that's my wife' and 'I'm taking her home tonight' and know that most of the people in the room are envious of me for having such a beautiful woman in my bed."

Her eyes go soft and well with tears. "You have got to stop that."

I frown in confusion. "Stop what?"

She laughs softly. "Stop making me fall even more in love with you." She leans forward and presses her lips to mine.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, that's a yes." 

Sliding my hand around her waist, I pull her closer and deepen the kiss. A kiss that is interrupted by Chin clearing his throat before Kono says, "You know, if you two spent more time actually doing what you get paid to do and less time making out, maybe we wouldn't have had to come save your asses."

"You're just jealous because we're getting married and having a baby," Danni says, grinning up at the cousins.

"Naw, not jealous; excited!" Kono all but falls down on Danni, nuzzling her temple and giggling like a teenager.

Chin offers me a hand up. "So,-" He grins at me. "-a baby, huh?"

I shrug. "Yeah."

"You ready?"

Taking a deep breath I release it and answer honestly. "Not even a little. But-" I gaze fondly down at Danni and Kono cuddling on the floor while Kono rubs Danni's belly and coos at it. "-I have every reason in the world to be happy about it."

"That you do, brother. That you do." Chin slaps me on the back.


	8. Chapter 8

It's been a week since I took a home pregnancy test and found out I'm pregnant, three days since I told Steve he's going to be a father and less than twenty-four hours since Steve proposed. I don't wear any jewelry beyond a watch and small studs in my ears so I haven't missed not having an engagement ring. Besides, I don't need the whole world to know that someone asked me to marry them. The people who need to know either do or will soon.

There isn't much about Steve that surprises me anymore and yet he manages to surprise me by dropping to one knee next to the chair I'm sitting in while eating my breakfast.

"I should have done this already but yesterday was kinda crazy."

My confusion deepens when he takes my left hand in his and then my heart stops before resuming at a faster rate when he slips a simple diamond solitaire in a gold setting on my finger. It's beyond beautiful in its simplicity. "Steve-" I can't get words past the lump in my throat. "When'd you have time to go to the jewelry store?"

"I didn't. I found this in amongst some of Dad's things when I was going through them."

My breath hitches in my chest at what that means. "It's your mom's?"

"Yeah." He gets up and sits in his chair. "I thought she'd been buried with them."

"Surely Mary should have it."

He shakes his head. "There was a note that said they were for whichever of us got engaged first."

I hold my hand out and look at the simple princess cut diamond. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah." He takes my hand in his again and looks down at the ring on my finger. "I remember asking Mom once about how Dad proposed. He was in the Navy and they'd been dating for a couple of years; they were high school sweethearts. He asked her in a letter and this ring was inside."

"That's kinda romantic. I bet they learned more about each other in those letters than they did in all the years they'd been dating prior."

He nods. "They both kept each letter. I found them with the ring."

"I'm honored to wear your mother's ring." I lean over and place a kiss to his cheek. "Just so's you know, I'm taking the day off."

"Why?" He gives me a look. "Are you sick?"

"No. I want to go get Grace and I'll have better luck if I'm already there when she gets home from school." 

"Okay, then. I wish you luck." He kiss me before getting up and heading to the office.

I haven't had a chance to tell Grace that I'm pregnant, and definitely haven't been able to tell her Steve proposed. So, I'm counting on Stan's love of Grace, and his inability to tell her no to get around the thirty day ban he put on me. Plus I've already filed papers to take care of the issue of the control he's had over me for far too long.

Pulling into the drive in front of Stan's house has my heart racing a bit with nerves. This could backfire spectacularly and that is the last thing I want. I sit in the car a few seconds after I turn off the ignition, trying to find my center, the Dominant inside, and then climb from the car.

Stan manages to surprise me by answering the door himself when I knock. He smirks at me. "You're not supposed to be here. Or have you forgotten that I took away a month of visits?"

I bite my tongue to keep from snapping back, nothing good ever comes from arguing with this man, and tuck my hands into my front pockets. "That's what I've come to discuss." I look pointedly over his shoulder. "May I?" I don't wait for his answer, just shoulder my way inside.

"You have less than twenty minutes. I want you gone before she gets home."

I grin at him. "Apparently you forgot that I never could say anything I need to quickly." Turning to my right, I head in the direction of the kitchen, forcing him to follow. "I'd like a glass of water, please." I take a seat at the kitchen table where I can see the door and look out the window.

Stan glares but fetches me the requested glass of water before sitting down across from me. "What do you want, Danni?"

"My daughter." I take a sip of water and cross my right knee over my left. My heart is pounding so hard against my ribs I'm afraid it's gonna beat right outta my chest. I haven't felt this nervous while exerting my dominance since I first discovered it. "Your lawyer should have received papers from mine by now. Sign them."

"Or what? You'll sic the Governor on me again?"

I can't help but chuckle at his tone. "Oh, Stan. How could you possibly believe I had anything to do with Jameson threatening you two years ago? Did Maria not tell you about the speech I made into the intercom after her convoy left?" I take another sip of water. "And besides, I'm not sure Denning really likes Five-Oh so he might not be amiable to helping me against you."

Stan snorts. "So what makes you think I'll sign these damn papers?"

I lean forward over the table and put on the voice that has Steve going instantly to his knees. "Because if you don't I will tell each and every one of your clients all about how you lied to them about me and why you have custody of my daughter."

"You don't know what you're talking about." His words sound hollow and I know I have him.

"I have Grace. She wants to tell the truth and I'm sure it won't take much convincing on my part to get her to do the right thing."

Stan leans forward as well and lowers his voice. I'm sure he thinks the tone is intimidating but it's not; not to a Domme like me. "You are not taking her from me."

I smile and judging by how he pales and swallows thickly it must be an evil smile. "I'm not you, Stan. I don't believe in punishing a child for bad behavior from the parent; and that's what you've been doing by keeping us apart: punishing _her_ , not me. No, all I want is residential custody. You'll have the exact same visitation schedule that I have now."

"What brought this on? Your boyfriend decide he wants to play Daddy to my daughter?" It's obvious from the tone that he thinks very little of Steve.

"No, I've just decided it's time." He shakes his head in disbelief. "Oh, and since I'm going to be telling this to Grace soon, I feel you should know that Steve and I are getting married. And before you say one word-" I hold up a finger to stop him when he opens his mouth. "-we didn't start sleeping together until six months after we met."

 _"Danno!"_ Grace screams from the other room followed by the sound of the door slamming.

"Oh, and one other thing: I'm going to have Steve's baby."

Stan grits his teeth and growls low in the back of his throat. I grin at him and stand up in time to catch the flying leap Grace takes at my head. "Danno!" she screams in my ear, hugging my neck super tight. "Daddy said you had this big case at work and we wouldn't be able to see each other for a whole month!"

"He said that?" Grace nods. I sit back down with her perched on my lap. "Oh, well, it turned out to not be as big a case as Uncle Steve had first thought."

"Yay!" She hugs me again. "So, I'm going to your house now?"

"Actually,-" I set her on her feet. "-we're spending the weekend at Uncle Steve's."

"Awesome!"

"Yep." I turn her to face the door and give her a pat on the bottom. "So go pack your bag. He's waiting for us."

She squeals and skips from the kitchen. "You're not going to tell her I lied?"

"I wouldn't do that. Not in this situation. I'm just glad you didn't tell her I don't want her again."

He has the good grace to wince at my statement. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not. Because if you were, I'd have primary custody instead of the pitiful visitation you use to control me."

"I was angry."

"Yeah, I got that when you called me all those nasty names."

He looks down at the table. "Please don't take her from me, Danni."

I have to harden my heart against this or I'll never get what I want. "She's my daughter, too, Stan. And she's becoming a teenager. She's going to need me even more now."

When he looks up I can see the tears welling in his eyes. "I love her."

"I know you do. I love her, too. She needs to be with me, Stan. Much like she needed me as a baby. Do you have any idea how devastated I was when you took her the way you did? Or when my milk dried up? Do you even care?"

"Of course I care. I loved you."

I sigh because it's obvious we're not going to get anywhere. "You sure have a funny way of showing how much you loved me."

"I have no excuse for how I reacted. All I can say is I'm sorry."

Before I can respond, Grace comes back into the kitchen dragging her suitcase behind her. "I'm ready, Danno!"

"Yes, I see you are." I laugh at her. "You do realize it's just for the weekend, right?"

She nods. "Yeah, but I figured I should leave some stuff at your place. That way I won't have to keep taking a bag."

"Good thinking." I get up and press a kiss to her head on my way out of the kitchen.

At the door, I turn back to Stan. "Sign the papers. Don't make this into something it's not."

"Please don't do this." His voice is softer than I've ever heard it and his pain is almost a living thing.

"Sorry. You've had her for long enough. It's my turn." And with that I follow Grace out the door and help her get buckled into the car.

We're about ten minutes from Stan's when Grace speaks. "Danno?" I make a noise of acknowledgement. "Are we going to your house?"

"No, Baby. We're going to Steve's." Did she think I was just saying that in front of Stan?

"Yes!" She punches the air and I can't help laughing. "I love going to Uncle Steve's."

"I know you do."

The rest of the drive is spent with her telling me about her week at school and me biting my lip to keep from telling her about the baby and Steve's proposal. Only thing keeping me from spilling the beans is that I promised Steve we'd tell her together.

Grace is out of her seat belt within seconds of me parking the car in Steve's drive and is pushing against my seat to get me to move faster. "Slow down, Gracie-girl! Steve's not going anywhere."

"I haven't seen him in _forever_. Like a month or longer."

You'd think at the age of eleven she'd know that a month isn't that long. But then I think about all the changes that can happen in a month and decide that, yeah, it really is a long ass time.

"Okay, okay," I chuckle while getting out of the car and pulling the seat forward so she can shimmy out of the backseat and take off running around the corner where her squeal of delight tells me that Steve has caught her and probably tossed her upside down over his shoulder.

I follow at a more sedate pace and find that Steve has indeed tossed my daughter over his shoulder. In fact he has her so far down his back that he's only holding on to one ankle. "You do know that's my most precious possession, right?"

"What?" He lifts her foot until she's not even touching his shoulder. "This old thing? I was gonna to get rid of it for you."

"No! Uncle Steve!" Grace's laughter proves to be contagious and before long all three of us are doubled over, holding our sides.

"Okay." I wipe the tears from my eyes. "That's enough for now. Come inside. Steve and I have something to tell you, Grace."

"You're moving in together!" Grace jumps from Steve's back to the couch.

"Well, yes, once my lease runs out. But that's not what we need to say." I tug on her arm to get her to stop jumping on the couch. "Is this how we treat furniture?"

She shakes her head, sobering quickly and sitting down between Steve and I. "No, ma'am."

Steve and I share a look; I take a deep breath and just say it: "Steve and I are having a baby."

"A baby!?" Grace's eyes are as wide as saucers.

"Yeah," Steve says in a tone that says quite clearly that he has yet to get used to the idea of us having a baby.

Grace squeals and hugs my neck before leaning over and whispering to my belly, "Hey, this is your big sister, Grace. I can't wait to meet you. I have _so_ much I want to teach you. So hurry up and get born!" When she sits up she turns to Steve and hugs him as tight as she hugged me. The look on his face brings a tear to my eye and I have to wonder just why I was worried about his reaction to the news of his impending fatherhood. "When're you due, Danno?" Grace plops her butt in Steve's lap

"We're not real sure, yet. But April or May for sure."

"Awesome! It'll be here in time for The Fourth fireworks at Pearl."

"It'll be too little still for that."

Grace frowns. "But we can see them from Steve's beach, can't we?"

"No, sorry." Steve runs one of her pig tails through his hand. "We can't see Pearl Harbor from here." Grace crosses her arms over her chest and pouts. "Hey, I bet there'll be fireworks out in Maunalua Bay. We can watch those."

"Yeah, okay."

"Oh, Monkey. We can go to the fireworks at Pearl the following year." I look up at Steve and smile at him over Grace's head. "But we have more news."

"You do?" Grace uncrosses her arms and sits up a bit straighter.

"Yeah." I hold up my left hand to show her the engagement ring Steve put on my finger just this morning.

Grace squeals again and launches herself at my head. "You're getting married! I get to be the flower girl, right?"

"Of course, Monkey." I hug her to me and laugh along with her. Steve smiles indulgently at us.

"Will the wedding be soon?"

"No. I want to wait until I've had the baby."

"Why?"

"It's much easier to find a wedding dress when your waistline isn't changing every week."

"You could go traditional Hawaiian, Danno." Steve's suggestion makes sense but I still want to wait.

"Alright, now." I push Grace back. "Go put on your suit and Steve'll take you into the water while I make dinner."

"Love you, Danno." She hugs me again and then places her hand gently on my belly. "Love you, Baby. Love you, Steve." He also gets another hug before Grace is skipping up the stairs, her suitcase thumping on the treads behind her.

Steve turns to look at me and I can tell he's trying to figure out how to say something. "What? Whatever it is, just say it."

"Do I get to know about that man you were talking with on Monday, now?"

"Been wanting to ask that all week, haven't you?" He looks sheepish. "It's okay. You were a good boy, for the most part, and took your punishment well." I stand up and move to the foot of the stairs where I can see up into the upstairs hall so I can keep an eye out for Grace. "He's my lawyer."

"What? Is Stan…?"

I shake my head. "No, but I am." Steve comes to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist so he can place his hands on my belly. Ever since I told him I'm pregnant he seems to have developed an obsession with my belly. "I'm suing for residential custody."

"What's that mean?"

"It means that Grace'll live with me."

"Awesome. Why don't you want her to know?"

"In case the judge decides she's perfectly fine right where she is."

"Why would the judge decide that? You're a great mother."

I turn in his arms and rest my head on his shoulder. "Thanks. But the judge could use the fact that I willingly gave up custody and my occupation against me."

"They'd better not. You did what you thought you had to do in order to have any kind of a relationship with your daughter. And why would being a cop count against you?"

"It's a very dangerous job and I get calls at all hours of the day and night. And now there's the fact that I'll be married to another officer of the law."

"But we already have an excellent plan in place for if we get called in during the night. Not to mention that Grace is almost old enough to stay home by herself."

"Yes, but Mrs. Paleo can't be expected to always be available for that. And I'm not going to be comfortable leaving her at night for a while. Besides, what if something was to happen to the both of us?"

"Can we burn that bridge when we get to it?"

"That's not the saying." But it has done its job: it made me laugh.

When I hear Grace walking down the hall, I pull from Steve's arms and head for the kitchen. 

"Hey." Steve grabs me around the waist before I can get too far. "I love you," he whispers against my lips.

I twine my arms around his neck. "Danno loves you."

"Ew, gross." Grace pushes between us. "You gonna be doing that a lot?"

"Some." I smile down at her. "So,-" Turning once again toward the kitchen, pushing Grace before me, I ask, "-what would you like for dinner?"

"Cheeseburger Mac!"

"Alrighty, then. On buns?" The look Grace throws me over her shoulder says 'duh!' plain as day. I chuckle. "Of course, how silly of me to forget that."

I begin pulling the ingredients out and setting up to make the requested meal while Steve and Grace get water bottles to take with them. Steve slaps my ass on his way out. "Hey!" He turns to walk backward and wiggles his eyebrows at me. "Don't think you won't be punished for that." I shake my finger at him. His grin just gets wider. I swear, sometimes it's almost like he _wants_ to be punished. 

I scratch my chin as I contemplate that. Maybe I need to put him in his place more often. With the coming baby we won't have the free time we do now so we might as well figure out how this'll work once we have a child around all the time before I deliver.

Looking through the window I see him step out on the lanai when I remember something. "Steven!" I knock on the window and he pauses. "Don't forget the sunscreen."

"Yes, Ma'am." He gives me a lackluster salute and continues on to where Grace is standing at the edge, waiting for him. "Danno says sunscreen first!" He grabs Grace around the waist and carries her out of my sight around the corner of the lanai where the sunscreen and towels are kept.

With a fond smile, I begin making my cheeseburger macaroni. While the water for the macaroni is boiling, I begin grating the cheese. 

I use three different kinds: mozzarella, sharp cheddar, and Colby. I mix them all together and get them melting in a saucepan. Then I get out the ground beef; browning it before adding the seasonings, bread crumbs, onions, and bell peppers. By this time the water is ready for the macaroni. I stir the noodles into the water and let them cook for several minutes, stirring occasionally. The cheese is melting quite nicely. Once the noodles are cooked, I drain the water and add the cheese along with a dash of milk and the ground beef mixture.

Grabbing plates and glasses from the cabinet, I place them on the serving tray and carry it all outside. Steve's deep laugh is the perfect counterpoint to Gracie's softer one and it makes me smile that the two most important people in my life get along so well.

Back inside, I pour the macaroni into a serving bowl, grab the buns, and a pitcher of iced tea before heading back outside. Done setting the table I step off the lanai and put my fingers to my lips to whistle. Steve and Grace both look up, wide grins still splitting their faces with water dripping off their hair.

"Dinner!"

Steve races Grace from the water to the table, letting her win of course. He grabs me from behind in a great big hug. "You're all wet!" I playfully swat at his arm, laughing at his antics.

"And now so are you!" He places a big smacking kiss on my cheek. "My Lady." He holds out my chair with a bow. 

"Wow, you did learn something this week." He growls a bit and kisses the tip of my nose.

"Mm. This is _so_ good, Danno," Grace says around a huge bite. I tug on her pig tail and smile at her.

Steve takes an even bigger bite of his. "Mm. Gracie's right. This is awesome! If you hadn't already agreed to marry me I'd be begging you to do so just so I can eat like this every night."

I just roll my eyes at their over the top praise. "I admit it's good, but it's not _that_ good."

The rest of dinner is spent with Steve and Grace planning every single waking moment of the next two days. They seem intent on packing what feels like a lifetime of activities into forty-eight hours.

The weekend is just like any other with the exception of me sleeping in Steve's bed inside of in his old room and Grace stopping every hour or so to tell my belly that she loves the baby growing inside it.

Late Sunday I text Stan and tell him that I'm keeping Grace until Monday and will take her to school. If he has a problem with that he doesn't say; just texts back 'okay'.

Dropping Grace off at school has suddenly become that much harder for me to do. After Grace was safely tucked into bed, Steve and I discussed my plans for getting custody of Grace. He assured me that he is one hundred percent behind me on this and is more than willing to testify on my behalf, should that be necessary. One of the things we agreed on is that Grace should stay with Stan for the rest of the school year. There'll be enough upheaval to her life with the new baby, no need adding to it by having her move from the place she calls home; especially since she's has no memory of ever living with me.

A couple of months later we have our first official ultrasound and Grace is allowed to come along and see.

"You must be the big sister," Jasmine says, smiling at Grace.

She nods her head and pats my belly. "Yeah. Can we find out if I'm having a sister or brother?"

Jasmine looks at me. "No, Monkey," I say, brushing her bangs back from her face.

"But why not?"

"Because I don't want to know until it's born."

"But what about those of us that want to know now?" Steve frowns at me over Grace's head.

"Too bad. The wait is part of the fun."

"But what will we call it?"

I laugh at Grace's question. "Where do you think you got your nickname from? I got tired of calling you 'it' while I was pregnant so I started calling you 'Monkey'."

"Oh. So, um, how about…?"

Before Grace can come up with a name, I interrupt her with, "How about we wait and see what it looks like?"

"Okay." She wiggles in Steve's lap until she's pressed back against his chest.

"Doctor Meegs wants to know the sex so I'm going to try and get that first, okay?" Jasmine turns the monitor away and begins moving the wand over my belly.

"Does that hurt, Danno?" Grace touches my left arm.

"Not at all. It is a bit uncomfortable due to how hard she has to press but other than that-" I shrug.

"Ah, there you are," Jasmine mutters and pushes some buttons on the keyboard. "Alright now. Who's ready to see this gorgeous baby?"

"Me!" Grace bounces in Steve's lap.

We all laugh at her antics. Jasmine turns the monitor and I get my first look at my unborn child. Tears spring to my eyes and for the first time in a long while I let them flow freely. Steve chuckles a bit at my reaction and when I look I see that he's crying too. 

I take Grace's hand off my arm with my right so that I can wipe the tears from Steve's face with my left. Grace turns and frowns at us. "Why are you crying? This is a good thing. Isn't it?"

"Oh, yes, Baby. This is a _very_ good thing." I bring her hand to my lips so I can kiss her knuckles. "Sometimes people cry when they're happy. Tears are an expression of emotion. They can express anger, sadness and happiness."

"I'm happy too, but I don't feel like crying." She sounds so distraught over that.

"That's okay. Everyone's not going to react the same way." Steve buries his face in her hair. "You and you mom and the new baby make me so happy that I feel fit to burst. I guess that's why I'm crying. As for your mom…" He leans over and we share a gentle kiss.

"I'm crying because that-" I point at the screen. "-that right there, is every reason in the world to be happy, just like you said, Steve. With that little…" I pause and squint at the screen. 

"Bug!" Grace says. "It looks like a bug."

"Okay. Bug, it is." I run one hand over her hair. "With that little _bug_ growing under my heart, everything's right with my world because I have the three most important people in the world right here."

"Would you like to have a picture emailed to you this time, Danni?" I had totally forgotten about Jasmine.

But when I look at her, I find her staring resolutely at the screen as if she didn't hear a single thing my family and I just said to each other. "Yes, I would." I give her my email address. "Grace? Would you like one?"

"No, that's okay. I'd rather have pictures that don't include your insides." We all laugh.

Over the next several months all Grace seems able to talk about is her sibling. I'm getting slightly worried about Stan's reaction but whenever we have to be in the same room he tends to ignore me. It's a bit confusing having him not try to start something with me every time he sees me. But I am enjoying the lessening of the tension on that front.

He still hasn't signed the papers or agreed to a court date or to see a mediator by the time Christmas rolls around and I've had enough.

"I'm going to call my lawyer tomorrow and have him file the petition," I say, climbing under the covers where Steve's already stretched out on his stomach, his back starting to sport bruises from his recent flogging.

"I was hoping he wouldn't force you to fight him."

"I was too; especially since he seems to have decided to cease all hostilities towards me." I lean over Steve, examining his back and he shivers when the tail end of my braid brushes the small of his back. "Hm, looks like I'm going to have to get a proxy." I gently touch a couple of spots where the skin is redder and might actually be broken.

"Why?" He bites back a moan when I trail my fingers down his crack.

"Because I'm getting too big to wield the flogger correctly. It's either a proxy or you don't get flogged until I deliver."

"It won't be the same."

"Of course it won't but it's the best I can do for now. We'll try it in two weeks. If neither of us gets off on it we'll just have to not do that for a while. It won't be the end of the world, Dog." I bury my nose behind his right ear and inhale his scent while moving my finger slowly closer to his hole.

He moans and spreads his legs. But I'm not really in the mood for sex; haven't been for a few weeks now. Of course that hasn't stopped me from making sure Steve gets what he needs. He's allowed to jerk off while I watch and of course I've used the dildos on him often in an effort to make up for him not being able to fuck me.

He buries his head in his arms and groans when I pull back. "Remember what the doctor said. My desire for sex will return." I run my hand up the curve of his right butt cheek and feel a tiny stirring of desire but not enough. "If you want you may jerk off until you come."

He turns his head and looks at me. "What I want, Mistress, is to fuck you."

"I know. I want you to as well but I'm not aroused and that's just no fun for either of us." I run my hand through his hair. "You have five seconds to make up your mind before I rescind the offer."

I can see him actually think about it but he eventually shakes his head. "No, thank you, Mistress. It's just not the same without you."

"Very well." I press a kiss to his shoulder. "Go get the ointment." 

He slithers out of the bed and walks all loose limbed to the bathroom. It's obvious I need to up the amount of pain I give him. He seems to need it more and more often since I told him I'm pregnant. I wonder if he's feeling the stress that comes with the cost of being a parent.

When he comes back, I apply a thin layer to the marks on his back before going to wash my hands and returning to the bed. With a kiss to his temple, I roll over to my left side and fall asleep.

Two days later I get a call from my lawyer informing me that Stan has signed the papers and I now have residential custody of Grace. I text Stan to thank him and let him know that due to everything involved with the baby I think Grace should stay in his house until school is out for summer. He thanks me for that and agrees it would probably be best for her to wait. We also agree to not say anything to her until closer to June.

Then comes the day when my desire for sex returns with a vengeance just a few weeks later.

And of course it returns in the middle of an interrogation because Steve is fucking sexy as hell when intimidating a suspect.

I've been standing in the corner watching as Steve slowly breaks the creep that him and Chin arrested a couple of hours ago when suddenly I get hit by a wave a arousal so sharp I can't stop the gasp that escapes.

Steve stops speaking and stands up from where he's bent over the suspect getting in his face to frown at me over his shoulder. "D? You good?" I can feel the flush heating the skin of my face and I nod, knowing that if I speak I'll betray just what's wrong. "You sure?"

He steps closer and his scent increases my arousal. I bite my lip to keep the whimper at bay and take a deep breath (big mistake) before turning and sprinting from the room. I don't get very far before Steve's hand on my arm stops me. "Hey. What's up?"

I shake my head again. "I need to go home."

"What?" His eyes narrow with laser focus on my rounded belly. "Is Bug...?"

"It's not that. Finish here and come to me at home." I press a kiss to his lips and slip from his grasp.

At the house, I climb the stairs as quickly as I can, stripping my clothes as I go. In the bedroom, I pull out my favorite vibrator and settle back against the headboard. I rub it against my clit, getting myself off quickly to try and take the edge off.

Which of course doesn't work.

I lose track of how many orgasms I give myself before I hear Steve clomping up the stairs. He bursts through the door and skids to a halt when he sees me sitting naked on the bed, riding the vibrator for all I'm worth.

"Is this-" He waves a hand at me. "-the reason you ran out on me?"

"Yes!" Another orgasm crashes over me. "Now get your ass over here and fuck me!"

He strips his clothes off so fast he rips a couple of buttons. And then he's climbing up on the bed with me and sliding home in my pussy. The position is awkward and I lose the buzz I had been riding.

"This position isn't working for me." He pulls out and lets me arrange him to my satisfaction. But him flat on his back isn't working either. My breasts are too heavy and bouncing hurts. "No." I roll over to my left side. He spoons up behind me and slips his hand behind my right knee to lift it enough so he can enter me.

We've never fucked in this position before and it's incredible. He can go fairly deep and my belly and breasts are properly supported. I lick a couple of fingers and rub my clit, hard, chasing my orgasm and soon I'm coming apart in his arms. 

I let him maneuver me to my hands and knees, one arm supporting my belly as he pounds into me from behind while working for his own release. About a dozen thrusts later he stiffens and I can feel his come flooding my insides.

When he collapses to his side, he takes me with him, his half hard dick still inside me. His harsh breaths stir the hair on the back of my neck. With a deeply satisfied chuckle he pulls me closer. "Guess your doc was right." His hand rubs over my belly and Bug kicks at it.

"I don't remember ever being this horny with Grace."

"Well, you weren't in a relationship while pregnant with Grace so."

"Hm. I suppose." I wiggle until I'm a bit more comfortable. "Did he ever break?"

"Oh, yeah. You missed it. Luckily it's all on tape so you can see it tomorrow."

I chuckle. "Nothing like a little incentive to make you work your magic, huh?" He leans forward and nips the back of my neck. "I say we sleep now. I may wake you in a few hours, though." His cock twitches against my thigh at that thought.

For the next three months I'm insatiable and it all ends just as suddenly as it began.

By the sixth month of my pregnancy with Grace I had had all the usual weird food combination cravings. But this time around I've only been craving one particular food (and despite what everyone thinks, I don't hate it, except on my pizza): pineapple. I can't get enough of it. It's gotten so bad that all three members of my team have taken to carrying some dried pineapple slices with them at all times. And Steve installed a mini fridge in my office so that I can have fresh pineapple whenever I want it without having to waddle (his word because I've only gained five pounds) to the break room to get some.

Another thing I've noticed is the baby seems most active when Steve is around and also when I'm near the ocean. Steve talks to my belly as often as he can get away with it and can more often than not be found with one hand resting on the evidence of my pregnancy. And of course the baby always kicks right where his hand is resting or right where his head is while he's talking to it.

I don't mind, most of the time. But the morning I wake up during my eighth month to find Steve with his mouth pressed to my belly whispering something I can't quite hear is a bit annoying.

"What are you doing?" I push his head away so I can get up.

"Talking to Bug." He follows me into the bathroom. "How do you sleep with Bug moving like that?"

I open my mouth to respond only to have the breath driven from my lungs by Bug deciding to give a vicious kick to my diaphragm. "I don't feel it when I'm sleeping," I say when I can finally draw enough air into my lungs to speak.

"How can you not?"

I push past him and back into the bedroom. "I just don't." A sharp pain starbursts across my abdomen, pulling a gasp from me.

"Danni?" Steve's instantly at my side. "What is it? What's wrong?"

With each word out of Steve's mouth Bug kicks hard against my ribs. "Stop talking, please." I rub my belly and finally Bug calms down. "Every time you talk Bug gets excited and kicks up a storm." The pleasure that crosses Steve's face at my pronouncement makes me fall even more in love with him. "Normally it isn't that big a deal but this morning…" I sit down heavily on the bed. I haven't gained that much weight and yet I'm huge and it's exhausting being this big. "I think I'm going to use a sick day. Guess I should text my boss." I pick up my phone and text Steve that I'm taking the day off.

When his phone beeps he responds that I had better have a doctor's note since this is the third sick day I've taken in the past two weeks. I remind him I'm pregnant and will soon be taking maternity leave so he can just suck it.

"Really, Danno? 'Suck it, Boss.'? That really how you wanna play it?"

I nod and lean back on one hand so I can breathe easier. "Sure is."

He sits down on the bed beside me. "Maybe we should ask Meegs if it's time for you to go on leave."

"Was already planning on it." He gives me a shocked look. "It's obvious that this-" I wave my hand in a circle to indicate my huge belly. "-is all baby. Grace was a respectable six pounds, nineteen inches long. And that was a week early. This kid, _your_ freak of a kid, is probably already six pounds or more and I'm only eight months along. I don't want to think about how big Bug'll be when I deliver."

He places his hand over mine on my belly and Bug kicks at us. Leaning over, Steve kisses the top of the swell and whispers, "You stop giving your Danno so much grief, huh? Once you're born will be soon enough." This time he gets a hand pressed against the stretched flesh. 

"Alright, I guess I should get dressed. What time's your appointment?"

"9. You don't have to come."

"I missed several already due to my reserve training. Not missing any more than I have to." I nod. "I'll pick you up at 8:15?" I nod again then scoot back on the bed to lean against the headboard and watch him get dressed.

A few minutes later he presses a kiss to my lips and leaves for work. Not that he'll get all that much done before he has to come back to get me. But since he's the boss he feels he should be there for a little while first thing.

At my appointment, Meegs does indeed agree that I should probably be on bed rest due to how heavy the baby is sitting on me. He stresses that bed rest means I'm not to do anything more than light housework; mostly just laundry as long as I don't have to bend over or stand for long periods of time. Luckily the department has awesome maternity leave. I'm able to take these final four weeks along with up to four months after. And Steve is eligible for paternity leave as well and can take just as long as I do. But he's decided to wait until after I give birth to take his paternity leave.

By the third day of my bed rest I'm so bored I seriously contemplate asking my mother to come early. Only reason I change my mind is the fact that I'd probably kill her within the first twenty-four hours.

My due date (May first) comes and goes. Meegs is seeing me nearly every day and tells me ten days later that if I don't deliver over the weekend he'll induce on Monday. I call my parents and tell them to get the first flight out.

The rest of the day is spent with Steve trying to be helpful but really all he's doing is getting on my fucking nerves. Around 4 in the morning, we get up to go get my parents from the airport and Steve's hovering finally pushes me over the edge so I order him from the house on threat of murder, reminding him that I know how to hide a body.

And that's how I find myself sitting on the couch with my feet propped up on the coffee table in front of me, still pregnant nearly two weeks past my due date. Bug has gotten so incredibly heavy and I'm ready to deliver. I have enjoyed being pregnant this time just like I did with Grace but the time has come for this child to enter the world.

My frustration boils over and I find myself shouting at my belly. "Get out. Get out. GET OUT! Why won't you get out?"

Everything makes me so very tired these days and my outburst is no exception. I lean my head back against the couch and pant at the ceiling.

Suddenly pain rips trough my midsection. I double over, trying to get it to stop. It subsides a moment then comes again, stronger; strong enough to have me hitting the floor on my knees. I feel like I'm about to be split in two.

Steve's name comes out on a whimper, then louder and louder until I'm screaming like I've never screamed in my life.


	9. Chapter 9

I've just started my second lap of the cove when I think I hear my name being called. I stop and tread water, turning slowly toward the shore to see if maybe Danni's standing there calling me. In the dim pre-dawn light I can just barely tell that the beach is empty. Just as I've decided I've imagined it, I hear it again and it is most definitely my name being screamed from the direction of the house.

Panic spikes through me; Danni's two weeks late delivering our child. I didn't want to leave her, not even for the twenty minutes I take to swim laps in the cove, but she said I was totally getting on her nerves and that I needed to go for a swim before she killed me. She reminded me that as a detective she knows how to hide a body. So I took to the water for her sanity and my life.

But now, now she's screaming for me and I strike out for shore as fast as I can. When I can stand, I run, well, I attempt to in the waist high water, up the yard and into the house, not even bothering to stop and dry off.

I come skidding into the living room and hit the floor on my knees behind where she's kneeling between the couch and the coffee table.

"Danni?" I reach out for her and she grabs hold of my right hand, squeezing so hard I'm afraid she's going to dislocate my thumb. "Ow, babe. Maybe don't squeeze so hard, hm?"

She glares at me over her shoulder. "I'm delivering your child sans an epidural and you're complaining about a little pain in your hand!?"

"What?" She can't possible mean what I think she means. Can she?

"Your kid hates me."

"Bug does not hate you." The banter is familiar, in the early days of her pregnancy she would say Bug hates her every time she threw up, which was often.

"Of course he does. Why else would he come before I can get to the hospital?"

"Wait, you're serious about delivering without medicine?"

"Yes!" She grunts and grits her teeth, the veins on her neck standing out in sharp relief.

"Danni…" I'm momentarily unable to think. But then she squeezes my hand extra hard and I'm brought back to the situation at hand. "Let me call 9-1-1."

"No time!"

"What do you mean no time?"

"I mean he's coming now!" That's when I notice that her panties have been kicked under the side table.

I lift the back of the nightgown she's wearing and see hair where there shouldn't be hair. "Danni, please let me-" I'm cut off by a scream. I've never heard her scream like this before; not even in pleasure.

She manages to shift from her knees to her feet, still holding onto my hand and the edge of the couch cushions. "You have to let go of my hand."

"Why?" And now she sounds scared. I never thought there'd be anything in this world that could scare her to this extent.

"I have to catch the baby."

"Catch-" Her voice catches in her throat but she nods and lets go.

I put her hand on my shoulder and she digs her nails into my flesh. I grit my teeth at the sting but use it to ground me. She gives a forceful grunt and Bug slips from her body and into my hands.

"Oh." She slumps back against the couch and ends up sitting on her bottom.

"Why isn't he breathing?" I look up at her. "Danni?"

"His airway." She clears her throat. "Clear his airway."

"How?" I ask, even as I'm scooping gunk out of his mouth and nose with my fingers.

"Like that." She begins to shake and when I look, her eyes are dilated. Coming down off the adrenaline high of the delivery, I guess. 

It's not like in the movies where the baby enters the world already crying at the top of its lungs. When my son begins to cry it's rather pitiful, more like the mewling of a kitten. 

"Give." She holds out her hands the instant he begins to cry.

I hand him over, belatedly realizing she called Bug 'him' before he was actually born. "You knew?"

"Oh, hi. I am so very glad to finally meet you," she murmurs, putting him to her breast. He latches right on and begins sucking. "Hm?" She looks up at me, a dreamy smile on her face. "Oh, yeah. Um, about that." Her smile turns sheepish. "I looked in my file during one of the appointments you couldn't attend."

I chuckle softly. "Of course you did." I lean forward and kiss her nose. "And now, I'm calling 9-1-1."

"Yeah, that'd be good." I shift on my knees to reach the phone.

"Before you do that, though, get a towel." I frown at her. "To wrap him in. He needs to stay warm."

"Right, of course." I jog into the laundry room and snag a towel out of the dryer. Back in the living room, I help her wrap it around his body before running one finger over his tiny little ear.

"Steve, babe." She pushes on my shoulder with her free hand. "9-1-1."

I shake my head. "Right." I chuckle. "Sorry."

"No worries. Just, ya know." She indicates the phone with a nod of her head.

I dial 9-1-1 and sit down on the floor, running one hand through my damp hair, absently noticing that it's shaking.

_"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"_

"This is Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett. My girlfriend just delivered our child at our house."

 _"Why didn't you call earlier, Commander?"_ I recognize the censure in the voice. I've spoken to this operator on numerous occasions over the years.

"Because I didn't have time, Nora. It would appear that once my son decides something he goes for it."

She chuckles. _"Well, now you have one hell of a birth story for the little guy."_

"That we do."

I can hear the clicking of her keys. _"I have a bus headed your way, Commander. Congratulations to you and Detective Williams. Shall I connect you to the rest of Five-Oh?"_

"Thanks, Nora. No, that won't be necessary."

_"Very well. Do not attempt to cut the cord. You do need to tie it off with something; preferably some sterile gauze."_

"Got it. Thanks." I hit the end button with my thumb and get up to get the first aid kit and some gauze.

When I come back Danni has switched Bug to her other breast and is talking on the phone to Grace. "Yeah, he's just perfect." She smiles lovingly down at him (maybe _now_ we can decide on a name) sucking greedily at her breast. "Oh, no. It's too early for that. You have Daddy bring you to the hospital around 10, okay?" She chuckles. "Okay. Danno loves you."

I drop to my knees at her side just as she ends the call. "You woke Grace?"

"She would have never forgiven me if I hadn't."

"True. But Stan might not forgive you for waking her."

She shrugs. "Too fucking bad."

I scoot around in front of her and open the towel enough for me to get to the umbilical cord where I make quick work of tying it off. "There, now." I tuck the towel back around the tiny body, caressing his head affectionately. 

Watching the woman I love feeding our child from her body has something warm and soft unfurling deep in my belly and I lean down to kiss first his head and then her breast. She runs the fingers of her free hand through my hair. "Thank you," she whispers, tugging me up so she can press her lips to mine.

"Thank you." 

Before I have a chance to settle around my family, the sound of tires on the gravel drive is heard followed by the slamming of two heavy doors. "Guess our ride's here."

"Guess so." I get up to let the EMTs in.

"Commander!" Jack Brown, one of the many EMTs that have treated all the members of my team at one time or another over the past two years, is first in the door. "I was surprised that we got the call to a live home birth." He turns to look at where Danni's sitting, cradling Bug in her arms. "Coulda sworn the birth plan involved a hospital and some of the good drugs."

"It did. But Bug, here,-" She indicates our son with a nod of her head. "-had other plans."

"Aw, he just wanted to ride in an ambulance!" Sherri Atwater, Jack's partner, chuckles as she joins him in the living room, pushing a stretcher before her.

"How long has he been nursing?" Jack asks, reaching to take Bug from Danni's arms.

"Within a couple minutes of being born." Danni hands him over and keeps an eagle eye on everything Jack does.

"How's his suck?"

"Strong. He latched right on, no issues."

"Good." Jack unwraps the towel and begins checking Bug over. "What was his APGAR at birth?"

"Nine."

"Excellent." Sherri kneels down next to Danni and begins examining her.

Jack lays Bug down on the towel and runs his hands over his little body. "Appearance: two. Pulse:-" He places a stethoscope on Bug's chest. "-two. Grimace:-" Bug screams when Jack squeezes his foot. "-wish there was a score higher than two." He shakes his head at the volume with which my son expresses his displeasure. "Activity:-" He tries to straighten one of Bug's arms. "-two. And respiration: two." Jack smiles at Danni. "You got yourself one healthy baby, here, Danni."

Danni smiles at me and I smile back. She looks ready to drop but I know she won't; not until she knows Bug's safe and sound and that won't be until he's been examined by a doctor at the hospital.

As Sherri and Jack do their thing with Bug and Danni I shift from foot to foot feeling totally useless. As one of the nurses at Danni's OB/GYN said: my part's been over for a while now. Once conception takes place it's all about the mother and baby and the father tends to get pushed to the side. At least until everyone's satisfied that the mother and baby are healthy.

"Alrighty, then. Everyone coming to the hospital?" Jack rolls into a crouch before handing Bug, now wrapped in a blanket, back to Danni so he can pick her up and set her on the stretcher.

"Uh, not just yet." I want to step in closer so I can touch my family but I'm afraid I'll just get in the way.

Jack looks over at me and seems to notice for the first time that I'm dripping sea water on the floor and that I'm still wearing my board shorts. "Okay, so after you change?"

I shake my head, sending water flying. "I have to go get Danni's parents from the airport. It's why we're up this early."

"Oh!" Sherri rubs Danni's shoulder. "I thought she had woken up with contractions and y'all didn't quite make it to the car."

"No. My parents are due in a couple of hours and the Commander here insists on being super early. Only we got up too early and I was about to commit justified homicide so instead of raising Bug without his father I sent him out to swim off my bad mood."

"So, no contractions before that?"

"Not a one. Not that I'd know what they were. I didn't go through labor with Grace."

"Okay, well, we'll take good care of her on the trip to Kapi'olani and I'm sure they'll take excellent care of her until you can arrive." Jack slaps my shoulder. "Good luck with the in-laws." I follow them out the door and watch them load my family into the back of the ambulance while trying to ignore something deep down inside that is urging me to get into the ambulance with them.

I stand in the yard until I can no longer see the ambulance, then give myself a hard shake and head inside to take a shower and get dressed. I've never actually met Danni's parents but I have talked to them both on the phone and Skype. Danni has her father's stocky build but her mother's features. And while her parents are quick to laugh and joke I can tell they're not happy that they've yet again been given a grandchild out of wedlock, not that that's necessary these days. 

During a conversation I had with Danni's mother to get advice for keeping the peace in my house while Danni's emotions were running high during her pregnancy, I was told that the whole family had (still has actually) the same fear that I'll turn tail and run. She told me that until Danni told her that I had proposed she was afraid I'd react the same way Stan did. That man really fucked up that family but I'm determined to remove the bad memories of that whole affair.

I, of course, arrive at the airport early; their plane isn't due to land for nearly an hour. It gives me time to calm my nerves, somewhat. I haven't met a girl's parents since high school and then only once. And if I remember correctly it didn't go so well; her dad caught us making out in her room about an hour after dinner. I never did see her again.

The monitors say that their plane is on time but that can change especially when flying over an ocean. I keep one eye on the arrivals board while pacing back and forth just past security. I could meet them at the gate, my badge gets me entrance to places like that, but I don't want to. Besides, they don't need me more or less hovering while going through security.

As I wait I find myself wondering if I'd feel this nervous meeting Danni's parents if I hadn't gotten her pregnant first. I don't really know her dad but I get the feeling he's not real happy that I knocked up his only daughter. Of course it's possible that he'd treat me the same if we were meeting before a wedding. Like I said, I don't really know him. 

Finally, the arrivals board says their plane has landed. About five minutes later passengers begin filing out past the security gate and head toward baggage claim. I search the face of each person to pass me but don't see any familiar features.

I'm starting to worry they missed their connection in LA when I hear my name being called. Going up on my toes a bit to see over the majority of the crowd I see a delicate hand waving. "Steve!" Danni's mother finally manages to push her way through the throng of people. She clutches me to her in a bone crushing hug.

I have to bend over more than with Danni even with Mrs. Williams standing on her toes. "It's nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Williams." My mother would be proud of me for remembering my manners.

She leans back and swats my arm; just like Danni does. "I've told you to call me 'Ma'. You're one of mine, now."

I smile down at her but before I can respond, Danni's father comes bustling up behind her. "Lizzie! I told you not to take off. There's way too many people here."

"But I saw Steve, Andrew." She turns to take one of the bags he's carrying and I instantly reach out to take it from her; only to have her smack my hand. "I'm perfectly capable of carrying my own carry-on, thank you very much." She waves one hand over her shoulder. "But you two big strong men can get all our checked luggage."

"Yes, ma'am." I nod my head and head in that direction while telling my libido that this is _not_ Mistress; it's her _mother_. It doesn't work. Mistress has conditioned me to respond to that tone of voice.

Ma winds her left arm through my right while we're waiting for the luggage. "Danni not feeling up to a drive to the airport?"

"Oh, um, I figured she might have texted. Guess not." They both turn to stare at me. "She, uh, she delivered-" I glance at my watch. "-two and a half hours ago."

"What!?" Ma looks hurts. Tears even form in her eyes. "I was looking forward to being in the delivery room this time. Since she had a C-section with Grace only her sperm donor was allowed in."

"Yeah, well, it was unexpected. She delivered at home." They share a look then turn back to me. "I actually delivered the baby."

Ma's eyes narrow on my face and Mr. Williams turns to start scanning for their luggage. "Why aren't you using pronouns?"

"Danni wants to tell you. And no, you won't be told the name either. Not until Grace is present."

"Speaking of-" Uh-oh. I know that tone. It's the one Danni uses when I've said something she thinks is incredibly stupid. "-just where _is_ my granddaughter?"

"Steve?" Mr. Williams bumps my elbow with the back of his hand. "If you'll grab that yellow case. And that purple one."

I grab the two bags he indicated. "Grace is still at Stan's."

"Danni said he signed over custody."

"And he did."

"So why isn't she here?"

"Lizzie, Danni told you that Grace will be moving in this summer. Probably after we head back home. We're gonna be here for several weeks and it'll be a bit much what with the new baby and all."

Until he said it I had forgotten that since Danni has agreed to marry me in a few weeks her parents are just going to stay until after the wedding. "That and she's trying to be the bigger person here and allowing Stan to spend extra time with Grace."

When Mr. Williams indicates that we have all their bags, I lead the way out of the terminal and toward where I parked the truck. Mr. Williams and I get the bags stowed in the bed and I assist Ma into climbing up into the passenger seat before walking around to the driver's side.

"You're taking us straight to the hospital, right?"

"I had thought to drop your bags at the house; maybe let you freshen up first."

Ma waves one hand in the air and I see Danni in the gesture. "This is my daughter we're talking about here, Commander. I want to see her and my newest grandchild. Now."

Again I have to fight to not react to that tone. I twist my neck in an effort to stay level but it doesn't work completely. Hopefully I can get Danni to do something to get me out of my head. "Yes, ma'am."

I turn toward the hospital and do my best to stay at the speed limit.

"Oh, it's so beautiful here." Ma's head is on a swivel as she tries to see it all as we drive along. "Danni said your house is on the beach?"

"Yeah. It's been in my family since the '40s. Beach front property wasn't so expensive then."

"Danni doesn't really like the ocean."

"So she told me. Although I think she's starting to tolerate it."

"Well, she'd better since she lives so close to it!"

"And Bug seems to really like it, too."

"Bug?" 

I look over and find Ma frowning at me. "Yeah. It's what we call the baby. Danni didn't want to know the gender beforehand and we got tired of saying 'it'." I shrug.

"Of course. Just like with Grace. Does she still call her 'Monkey'?" 

"Sometimes. I think Grace feels she's getting too old for that nickname, though."

"So, Steve." Again with that authoritative tone. I twist my neck again, harder, and just barely manage to stay level. "Tell me your version of how you met my daughter."

I clear my throat. I'm not sure what Danni told her parents about that encounter in the garage but I bet I didn't come out on the good end of it. "Well, I came home because I know who killed my father and I was determined to capture him and put him in the ground.

"I've spent years in Naval Intelligence and in fact was tracking him in Korea. After my father's funeral I went to his house to search for clues. Danni was the detective investigating it and she came into the garage where I was looking at some clues Dad had left for me.

"We each pulled our weapons and after confirming identity, she ordered me to leave." I shrug. "So I did. With the evidence and the case."

"Just like that-" Mr. Williams snaps his fingers. "-you took her case away?" He whistles. "No wonder she hated you."

I can't help the smirk at that. It's no secret that Danni despised me for running roughshod over her that day and then for conscripting her as my partner the next. "The Governor had offered me a job as head of an elite task force. I had originally turned her down. When I realized that Danni didn't know who she was dealing with I took the job. 

"Victor Hesse was a very dangerous man who didn't deserve to breathe free air for a number of reasons, least of them being the murder of my father. I knew I could solve the case quicker than she could." Ma and Mr. Williams share a look and I roll my eyes. "I admit I went about it all wrong but I've been in the military my entire adult life. All the women I've encountered for the past several years have also been military. Danni surprised me. And when I'm surprised, I don't react well." I glance over my shoulder before moving over a lane. "I did apologize later," I say when I see the raised eyebrow on Mr. Williams' face.

"Oh, do you consider giving her and Grace three days at a fancy hotel an apology?"

I take and release a deep breath. "That's not… I actually said the words." I glance over at where Ma's sitting, looking at me just like Danni when I've been stupid. "What?" Why do I feel like I have to defend myself here? "Danni forgave me." And I'm immensely grateful she did. I would have died without her dominance.

"Well, obviously. She wouldn't have had your kid if she hadn't."

"So, you forgive me, too, right? I mean, I am the father of your newest grandchild and soon to be your son-in-law."

"Not son-in-law." Mr. Williams speaks for the first time in several minutes. "Just son. We don't need those distinctions."

A lump forms in my throat that these people who barely know me consider me as one of their own. And not just a member of the family - or as we say here: ohana - but one of their _sons_. I've been on my own for so long. It feels good to be part of a big noisy family like the Williams clan.

I pull into the lot of Kapi'olani and find a parking spot. Mr. Williams and I put the luggage in the cab, then we head inside and up to the maternity ward.

"You seem to know your way around." Ma has latched onto one of my arms again.

"Well, we did take a tour a couple months back as part of the child birth class we took."

"I thought it might be because you're here so often with injuries."

I blink down at her, not sure if I should take her statement seriously or not. "This isn't the hospital we go to for injuries. This is the women's hospital."

"Oh. Well, let me just say that if you ever put my daughter in the hospital for anything other than to deliver your child…" She shrugs. "Let's just say that Danni has taught me a thing or two about hiding bodies."

I glance over my shoulder at Mr. Williams and judging by his evil grin my fear must show plainly on my face. "And our whole family will assist."

"You do realize that Danni has a dangerous job, right? And there's no guarantee that she won't ever be seriously injured. I mean, right?" Ma just grins up at me and I know she's extremely serious about the bodily harm that'll befall me should Danni ever be injured on the job. 

Luckily the doors to the elevator open at that point and we step out into the entrance to the maternity ward. There are four nurses milling around the desk directly opposite the elevator and they all look up as we exit the elevator.

"Morning. Visiting hours don't start for another hour," one of the nurses says.

"I'm the father," I say. I'm very tempted to flash my badge but don't think that'll go over well with the nurses and Danni's parents.

"Doesn't matter. Visiting hours-" The same one as before - his nametag says his name's Kai - starts but Ma talks over him. "Does Danni Williams have a roommate?"

He frowns. "Doesn't matter. The rules-"

"Don't apply, here." Ma steps up to the desk.

Mr. Williams bumps my arm with his hand like he did at the airport. "Now you'll get to see where Danni gets it." He nods to where Ma's intimidating this man who is nearly a foot taller than her. I would feel sorry for him if he wasn't keeping me from my family. With a smirk, I cross my arms over my chest and settle back on my heels to watch the show.

Ma's talking too softly for me to hear her words but I can hear the tone she's using and it's enough to justify the look of horror on Kai's face. At one point he looks up at me with a pleading look in his eyes. I have no desire to assist him so I just shrug my shoulders. 

Mr. Williams laughs. "Serves him right; keeping you from your woman."

Everything Danni has ever told me about her parents in general and her father in particular has led me to believe he is all about equality but that statement says otherwise. "Didn't take you for a misogynist, Sir."

He turns to frown at me. "What? Oh, because I called Danni your woman?" He waves a hand. "She refers to herself as such, doesn't she?"

"Yeah."

He nods. "Is my daughter a misogynist?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Okay, so is it misogynist when I, a man, say it but not when a woman says it about herself?"

"Hm. Never thought of it that way before, Sir."

He smiles at me. "And the name's Andrew."

"Yes, Sir - I mean, Andrew." We share a laugh.

"Ma?" Danni sounds so scared. Even more so than when she was delivering Bug.

"Oh, my baby!" Ma bustles over to where Danni's standing in a doorway to our right and folds her into a tight embrace. "It's okay. Ma's here now."

"Daniel," Andrew says, a catch in his voice, while walking over to join his wife and daughter. "Where's my grandchild?"

"They took him." Danni peeks out from under her mother's hair and locks eyes with me. "They took him when we arrived and I haven't seen him since."

A quick glance at my watch shows that she's been here for nearly three hours now. "Did something happen? Is he alright?"

"Wait. Hold up." Andrew holds up his hands, palms out. "You had a boy?" Danni nods, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks. "I have a grandson." He turns to slap me on the shoulder. "Thank you, Steve."

I nod absently at him; all my attention on removing the distressed look from Danni's face. "Why did they take him?"

Danni shakes her head. "Something about checking him over. But they could have done that in the room I was in, in the ER."

Anger flows through me. I should have asked Chin or Kono to meet Danni's parents so I could come to the hospital with my family. "Where is he?"

"The nursery, most likely."

"Come." Ma pats Danni's back and starts moving her back into the room. "Let's get you back in bed while your man fetches your son."

I spin on my heels, my orders clear, and find Andrew staring at me with one brow raised. "Is my wife a misandrist for calling you Danni's man?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm sorry, okay?" He just grins at me and I know I'm going to have a huge learning curve when it comes to fitting into this family.

Stepping up to the nurse's desk I ask, "Is the nursery that way?" I point to the hall that leads past the elevator bank.

"Visiting hours…" Kai starts before sighing and nodding.

"Thank you." Andrew and I start walking in the direction of the nursery.

Andrew sighs. "I remember the day Danni was born."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah." He nods. "I had just started my shift at the firehouse when Aramis, he's our oldest, called to say that Lizzie's water broke. Luckily one of the guys that were supposed to be getting off didn't mind pulling a double." He rubs his face with both hands. "I walked into the room in time to hear her cry for the first time."

"Ya know, I've always wondered why you named her 'Daniel'."

He chuckles. "It was supposed to be Danielle but the last two letters got left off somehow." He shrugs. "We decided to just leave it. She was to be the only one with a common name so we figured that was the universe's way of making it as unusual as her brothers'."

"Yeah?" I come to a stop at a wall of windows covered by closed blinds. A sign on the wall tells us that the closed blinds mean the babies are being examined by the doctors and nurses and asks us to not ring the bell until the blinds are opened. "Guess that explains why Bug hasn't been brought to D's room," I say, indicating the sign.

Andrew nods his agreement, continuing on around the corner and when I follow I see the bell mentioned in the sign next to a Dutch door. "Yeah. Aramis, Billings and Canyon."

"Interesting names.

"Just be glad I managed to talk Lizzie out of naming all four of them after the Musketeers."

Before I can respond the blinds covering the window on the door are raised and a nurse smiles at us. "May I help you?" she asks when she opens the top half of the door.

"Yeah, we're looking for Baby Boy Williams-McGarrett."

"Oh, he's a doll! We're all already in love with him." She shuts the door.

Andrew and I side step to our right to look in the large window next to the door. The nurse picks up a bundle and carries it over to the window, holding it up for us to see my son's face. I know I have a proud grin on my face but I can't help it. That's my baby and I'm damn proud of him.

The nurse points at the door and I step back over as she opens it. "Is the mother asking for him?"

"Yeah, she is."

She nods. "Thought so. She didn't want to let us take him when they first arrived. First time mothers can be quite possessive."

"She's not a first time mother. He has an older sister."

The nurse blinks. "Oh, the way she was acting…"

"She has her reasons," I say, my tone harsher than necessary. "Can I take him? I'm the father."

"I just need to see your band."

"I didn't come in with them so I don't have one."

"Then I'll have to take him and get confirmation from the mother." She shuts the door and I watch her place my son in a bed before grabbing something off a counter and exiting the nursery.

"She's gonna breastfeed. You have that marked somewhere, right?"

"Yes, sir. There's a card on the isolet that says no bottles or pacifier."

"Good." 

Andrew and I follow her back up the hall and into Danni's room where we find Danni sitting on the side of the bed with her arms around her mother's waist and her face pressed to her middle. Ma is rubbing her back and I can hear her murmuring softly; the sound instantly calms me. I make my way around the nurse and over to Danni's side.

"Hey, D. I'm here." Danni reaches out blindly and snags a fistful of my shirt, tugging until she can bury her head in my stomach.

Andrew chuckles. "I just love that you call her 'D'." I frown over my shoulder at him, not sure why that's such a big deal. 

"There's someone here who'd like to meet you," the nurse speaks for the first time. "Mrs. Williams-McGarrett, is this man the father of your baby?"

Danni finally looks up. "Yes. And it's Detective Williams. For now." That's the first Danni's ever hinted that she'll take my name after we marry. I personally don't care one way or the other and I've told her that it's entirely up to her. But even so hearing that she's leaning that way has something primitive deep inside howling at the knowledge that the world will know this woman is mine.

"Excellent. Sir? If you'll hold out your hand…" She holds up what appears to be a couple of wristbands like what you get when going to a concert.

She attaches them both to my left wrist. "Why are there two of them?" I spin them around and see that Danni's name is on one and 'Baby Boy Williams-McGarrett' is on the other.

"They signify that you are associated with two patients: Detective Williams and your son." She turns back and picks my son up and hands him over to me. "I'll be back later to help you fill out his birth certificate." And with that she exits the room.

I haven't held a baby since Mary and I don't really remember what it was like. The fact that I'm now holding my son has a lump forming in my throat and I'm stunned motionless. A gentle tugging on my arm has me sitting on the side of the bed. "He's beautiful." He opens his eyes and blinks up at me, his little face crinkling like he's about to cry. "Sh, Bug," I whisper, gently rocking from side to side. "Daddy's here."

"That has a nice ring to it, 'Daddy'." Danni nuzzles my right temple before softly kissing it. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," she says while lightly slapping my hand when I reach for the little cap on Bug's head. 

"What? Why?" I once again reach for the cap and she once again lightly smacks my hand.

"Remember those pamphlets I told you not to look at?" I nod. "Same thing. Only it's his head."

Panic spikes through me. "Why? What's wrong with his head? You said he was healthy."

I can tell that Danni's trying to not laugh at me. "There's nothing wrong, Babe. Trust me." She trails one finger down Bug's left cheek and he turns his head in that direction. "If you take the cap off you'll see that he resembles a Conehead from passing through the birth canal."

"What's a Conehead?" I pull the cap off before Danni can stop me and stare down at the nearly pointed head of my son. "Tell me it won't stay that way?"

"Do you even pay attention to the shape of people's heads?" And now she does laugh at me. "His skull isn't fully formed yet for this very reason." She puts the cap back on. "It'll round out within a day or two and then he'll have a perfectly round head."

"Is that my brother?" Grace comes skipping into the room and climbs up on the bed on my other side. I lower my left arm enough for her to see his face. "He's so cute! What's his name, Danno?"

"Yeah, Danno, what's his name?" I bump her with my shoulder. We kinda discussed names but never actually agreed on one.

Danni smiles at me and cups Bug's head in her hand. "Steve, Ma, Pop, Gracie,-" She clears her throat. "-I'd like you all to meet John Andrew Williams McGarrett; no hyphen." 

"D…" My throat closes over a huge lump.

"Idiot," Danni says in a soft voice. "Like I'd give your son any other name."

"You're sure?" She nods. "I love you." I press a kiss to her forehead.

"Gracie? Did you father just drop you off?" Ma runs one hand down Grace's hair.

"No." Stan steps into the room. "I didn't want to intrude. It's good to see you, Andrew, Elizabeth."

"Stanley." Andrew's tone is cold enough to freeze and I can't help the smirk that crosses my face at this proof that Danni's family doesn't like Grace's sperm donor.

"Congratulations, Danni, Steve." Stan raises one hand in a slight wave and I give him a nod in return. "Grace, just call when you're ready to come home."

"But I will be home. Right, Danno?"

"Grace, now's not the time for this." Danni takes John from my arms. "Steve, get me a diaper from the isolet, please."

"Danno!"

Danni presses her lips into a thin line while she changes John's diaper. "Your father and I decided that you won't move in until school is out."

"But why!?"

"Because they're going to be busy with the baby and getting ready for the wedding, that's why." Stan manages to surprise us all by taking our side.

"Actually, I just wanted to give you more time with her."

"Thank you, Daniel." He clears his throat. "Just call when I should come get her."

"I think since my parents are here she could stay until Monday. If that's alright with you."

"Yeah, sure. You got a uniform at your place?"

"I do."

Stan nods. "Good. Okay." He steps up to where Grace is sitting on the bed and kisses her head. "Love you, Grace. I'll pick you up at school on Monday."

"Okay, Daddy." She reaches up to hug him.

He nods one more time and then exits the room.

"What's the importance of the name 'John'?" Andrew asks, turning his back when Danni lowers her gown to offer her breast to John.

"It's Uncle Steve's Daddy's name." Grace sits on the end of the bed and all but vibrates in place while she waits not so patiently for her turn to hold John.

"That's very sweet," Ma says as she bustles around the room, rearranging things proving she's just as anxious to hold John as Grace is.

When John finishes his breakfast, Danni passes him to Ma, who sits down on the bed and begins cooing at the bundle in her arms. Chin and Kono arrive and John gets passed around between everyone so that he can get to know his ohana. It's a very enjoyable day; probably the only one I've ever had in a hospital. It comes to an end when Danni drifts off mid-word. A nurse comes to get John to return him to the nursery so everyone leaves and I drive Grace, Ma, and Andrew to the house. 

When I return to the hospital I find Danni still asleep. I drop her bag on the sink counter, then lean over to press a kiss to her forehead. She must be beyond exhausted because she doesn't even stir at the brief touch of my lips to her skin. 

It has been quite a day and I suddenly find myself fighting to stay awake. A nurse came in while I was gone and turned the chair into a bed. Looking at it I can see I'm in for a very uncomfortable night but don't care. I can't climb into the bed with Danni and I need sleep.

When the nurse brings John in for a feeding it feels like I've just laid down but a look at my watch tells me it's been nearly two hours. Danni wakes up just enough to put John to her breast before falling asleep again. Luckily the nurse is still in the room taking her vitals because I have no clue what to do. But with her help I manage to get John fed and changed.

"Can he stay for a while? I haven't spent any time alone with him yet."

The nurse, whose nametag says her name is Julie, looks undecided for several seconds. "I can give you twenty minutes."

"Thank you." I pick John up and cradle him in my arms. His eyes are wide open and I swear he's staring at me with Danni's ocean blue eyes but all the books I read say he can't see that well yet. "Hey, little guy," I whisper, bending my head to rub my nose against his while walking over to the window. "If the sun was up you'd be able to see this beautiful place you're gonna call home. You'll love it here. That is my promise to you. Along with the promise to be a much more loving father than mine was."

A lump forms at the thought of Dad and how he'd love not only Danni and Grace but his beautiful grandson who carries his name. "Oh, don't get me wrong. He did love us, in his own way. He just didn't know how to show it; especially once Mom died. You're named for him, by the way." John yawns and closes his eyes. "Am I boring you?" I chuckle at that because really, can babies even be bored? "I love you so much, Son. And you will never doubt that. Ever. Your Danno has taught me that love is not something to be afraid of and the easiest thing in the world to express."

"Kinda wish I had a camera." I turn on my heel to find Danni lying on her left side, smiling fondly at us. "You look good with that baby in your arms, McGarrett."

"Do I?"

"Mmhm." Her lashes flutter and it's apparent that she's still fighting her exhaustion. "Does he need to feed?"

"He's already fed."

Her forehead crinkles. "When?" 

"About twenty minutes ago," Julie says, entering the room. "Time's up, Commander."

I reluctantly hand him to the nurse who lays him gently in the isolet before pushing it out of the room, closing the door behind her. The soft click of the latch has Danni waking enough to look around the room questioningly. "Where's Bug?" Terror is starting to creep into her tone.

"He's in the nursery."

"What? No." She starts to get up and I push her back against the pillows.

"He's never going to be any safer outside your uterus than he is right now. Ya know, behind a locked door and bullet proof glass."

She frowns up at me. "Oh, _now_ you call it bullet proof glass? Figures." Well, at least I know her brain is still functioning correctly if she can make a joke about a case from our early days.

I shrug. "What can I say? I've learned the virtue of using as few words as possible to get my point across."

"I wanna go home," she mumbles, her eyes drifting shut.

"Maybe later today." I brush a kiss to her forehead and she sighs before slipping into a deeper slumber.

John is brought back four hours later and this time we're allowed to keep him for most of the day (he does still have to go back to the nursery every time there's a shift change). At one point I'm kicked out so Meegs can examine her, not sure why since I was in the room when he stuck his hand up her vagina to check her uterus during her prenatal appointments. He declares her fit to go home the next day and I can see her visibly relax at the knowledge that she'll soon be back where she feels safest.

I don't realize it until morning but the nurses don't bring John to us that night. Danni questions it when they bring him for his breakfast and they give some bullshit answer about giving us one last night to sleep. Danni doesn't believe them anymore than I do.

After she feeds him, she goes to take a shower, leaving me alone with him for the first time since early yesterday morning. I change his diaper and dress him in the little sailor outfit Ma bought for him to wear home. And he sure does look super cute, if I do say so myself.

"Maybe one day you'll follow my footsteps and join the Navy, huh? Not that it matters. Whatever you do, I'll support you. Just so long as it's legal and makes you happy."

"When did you become such an enlightened man?" Danni steps out of the bathroom wearing a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and slippers. "Oh, he looks adorable in the outfit Mémé bought him." I fully expect Danni to take him from me but she doesn't. She just caresses his head and kisses his forehead before leaning up and kissing my cheek.

"Oh, since I found the love of a good woman."

"Oh, yeah?" I nod. "Lucky woman."

I scoff. "I like to think I'm the lucky one." And looking at how happy she is, and knowing how happy she makes me, I think I am the luckiest guy in the world. "Think he'll go into the Navy? It is a family tradition."

"Anything's possible. But like you said, we're not going to push him in any one direction."

"No, of course not." I look down into the beautiful face of my peacefully sleeping son and find my thoughts full of things I want for him; things I'd love to see him accomplish like following my footsteps and joining not just the Navy but the SEALs, too. "I remember Dad telling me to not be a cop when I was younger. He said that I could be anything I wanted, just not that. What about you?" I look up at where she's packing her bag.

"Pop wanted me to be a firefighter but I knew that wasn't for me. And not because I'm female but because I'm scared of fire. I'm terrified that I'll get trapped. What good is a firefighter who has a panic attack before stepping into a burning building? And not just a panic attack, but one that leaves them unable to move." She shakes her head. "No. Not for me. I knew I wanted to do something involving the law."

She comes back over to where I'm standing, holding John next to the window. "I went to Rutgers to study law but I wasn't positive I wanted to be a lawyer so I was only taking a few intro to law classes. I knew after just a few days that I would never be a lawyer."

"Why not?" I lean down and kiss the tip of her nose. She wrinkles it but doesn't object so I do it again and this time she gives me the same look she gives me when I tell her to 'book 'em, Danno'.

"All that legalese. It didn't make sense to me at first and then when it did, I realized it was just a bunch of double talk. And that's way too close to lying for me." She shakes her head again. "I decided to study criminal justice. I thought I'd be a crime lab specialist like Fong but my junior year a friend was assaulted and the officers that assisted were very nice and understanding so I decided to go to the academy."

"Huh. And to think if you hadn't done that we'd never have meet."

"I'd never have met Stan either. So we have my inability to use double talk to thank for the existence of both Grace and John." She's right. Her job as a police officer is how she met Stan. They were both at the courthouse and had to share a table in the café. "Did you get the car seat installed?" She turns away to finish packing her bag.

"Yep. Had to go to the precinct to make sure it was in correctly, though."

She laughs. "Yeah, they can be tricky."

"Detective? Ready to go?" An orderly enters the room pushing a wheelchair.

"Was ready yesterday."

He laughs. "I shall be your ride to the front door." He looks up at me. "Do you need to bring your car around?"

"No. I used the valet last night when I returned after going out for food." While Danni was given free food, I had to buy from either the cafeteria or go out. I chose to go out with the rest of the family and give Danni some time by herself with Bug.

"Excellent. Detective?" He giggles the chair a bit.

Danni sits down and instantly reaches for Bug. "You can't carry him and all my stuff."

True. I have to carry her bag as well as the balloons that were delivered by Kame late Saturday, not to mention the stuffed seals. Apparently several members of our ohana thought it was an original and hilarious idea to give my son a stuffed baby seal or, as in the case of Kono, a nearly life sized one. 

It's quick work getting my family settled into the cab of the truck and then we're on our way home. Danni is quiet during the drive and when I look over I find she has her eyes closed.

"You okay?" I reach over and twine my fingers with hers.

"Hm? Oh, yeah. Just tired."

"Is that normal?"

"Wouldn't know. I had a C-section with Grace so I was doped up for nearly a full day after."

"But Bug was born Saturday morning. Surely you shouldn't still be this tired."

"It's hard work pushing a human being out of your body, Steve. Not to mention feeding said person. Breast feeding burns several hundred calories in just thirty minutes."

"Huh. So what if you get pregnant again before you've weaned Bug?"

"Depending on how old Bug is, and by that I mean how close I am to weaning him, when I get pregnant, _if_ it happens, I may be able to finish nursing him."

"I don't understand."

She shifts in her seat. "I plan on nursing for at least a year, even once I've gone back to work. If I get pregnant within a few months of his first birthday, I'll be able to wean him for those last couple of months and will have made my goal of a year.

"Likewise, if I get pregnant within the next six months, I won't be able to nurse for even half that."

A quick glance shows her looking over the back of the seat at Bug in his car seat. "So, back to condoms?"

"Yes."

I nod my understanding of that. "Will you go back on The Pill?"

"Probably not. At least not right away."

"Why?"

I see her shrug from the corner of my eye. "I've been on birth control since I was sixteen, not counting when I was pregnant with Grace. I think I want to give my body some time to control its own hormones."

"Fair enough. Just don't go blaming me if you get pregnant before you go back on birth control. Even I know that condoms are only ninety-five to ninety-eight percent effective by themselves."

"I didn't blame you this time." She jiggles my hand. "I was scared of your reaction to the news. I know it's not solely the man's fault when a woman gets pregnant."

"Good to know. I just don't want to find myself in a scene from a sit-com or movie where a woman screams at her partner that it's all his fault while delivering."

"Actually, very few women react that way during delivery. That's just used for laughs or dramatic effect."

I look over at her and can see just how tired she is. She really does have a difficult time resting when not in her own space. Although she never had that issue at my place. And just like that I get hit upside the head by a 4X4 and realize just how long she's been in love with me. She has always felt comfortable enough in my space to treat it as her own and someone like her wouldn't feel that way without the presence of a strong emotion such as love. It's a good thing she has her eyes closed because I can't keep the smug grin off my face.

The closer we get to the house the more I expect her to relax but the opposite is true: the closer we get the more tense she gets.

"D?" I stroke my thumb over her knuckles.

"I'll be fine." I know she's trying to reassure me but it sounds like she's talking to herself. "It's just three weeks. I can do this."

"Is she really that bad?"

I can feel the glare she aims my way. "Is she…? Seriously? You ask me that? Now of all times?"

"What? What did I say that's so bad? You're acting like she's the evil step-mother."

"You just don't get it, Steven, so don't even try."

I turn into the drive and park the truck next to the Camaro. Turning off the engine, I turn to face her, putting a hand on hers when she goes to unbuckle her seat belt. "Talk to me, D. Why are you so tense? I thought you had a good relationship with your mother."

"Oh, yeah, I do. In fact, it's perfect. Just so long as I let her have her way in everything." She unbuckles her seat belt but makes no move to exit the truck. "After Grace was born the doctor put me on some restrictions, I had just had major abdominal surgery after all, so I moved in with my parents until I was allowed to take care of her on my own. The whole two weeks I wasn't allowed, per my _mother's_ orders, to so much as pick Grace up. She wouldn't let me care for my own child! And then when I moved back into my apartment, she either called or stopped by _daily_ to make sure I was doing things her way! Sometimes she did both! One day she showed up unannounced in the early hours of the morning, I had just finished nursing Grace and was trying to go back to sleep when she rang the bell. She stayed for _six_ hours! And every time Grace made any kind of noise Ma was on her like stink on shit. And then she called me just seconds after she left! And stayed on the phone for over an hour!" Her outburst leaves her winded and she slumps back against the door. "Now, you tell me: is she that bad?"

"This situation is different. This is your house. Tell her she can't dictate to you here. Unless you want me to."

Danni takes and releases a deep breath. "I think I should do it. If it doesn't work, I'll get Pop involved."

"Okay. Just remember: I support you."

"Thanks, Babe." She leans over and kisses me. "We should get inside before she sends out a search party."

"Need help?" She shakes her head and slips from the cab but isn't able to completely hide the grimace of pain the movement causes. "D," I say, opening the back door so I can start carrying everything into the house.

"I'm fine, Steve." She opens the other back door and climbs inside to unbuckle Bug from his car seat.

"How can you say that when I just saw you grimace in pain?"

"Because of the reason for the pain." She lifts Bug out and coos at him. "I pushed a human being out of my vagina seventy-two hours ago, Steven. That hurts."

"But it's been three days. How much longer is it gonna hurt?"

"Don't know. Shouldn't be much longer."

"Maybe you should have stayed at the hospital a few more days. Just to be sure."

She smiles at me. "There's no reason for us to still be there. Your son and I are both healthy. It's just a little pain. I can handle it."

I chew my lip, my brow wrinkled in concern. "I don't know, D. I don't like it."

"I know you don't but it's all part of the miracle of birth. Having a little difficulty sitting for a few days is a rather small price to pay for this adorable creature. Wouldn't you agree?"

How can I not? Our son is beyond adorable. Other than his eye color I don't see much of Danni in him, though. "He is really adorable. Just wish he looked more like you. But I guess I can't complain since he has your eye color."

She smiles at that and climbs down from the truck, John tucked securely in the crook of one arm. "He may not ever look like me and his eyes might change."

"What?" I slam the door closed and follow my family around the corner of the house.

"He may always look like you; Grace looks more like Stan than me. And all Caucasian babies are born with blue eyes. If his eyes are still this color at six weeks, then they won't change."

"There you are!" Ma is standing on the stoop, obviously waiting for us. When she reaches for Bug, Danni turns her back and steps around her. "I want to hold my grandson."

"No." Danni turns to me and hands him over. "You and I need to talk. In private." Danni stands at the foot of the stairs until Ma throws her nose in the air and marches past her.

"D?" I tug her back with one hand on her sleeve. "Keep calm." She smiles at me and leans in for a kiss, then turns and follows her mother up the stairs.

"Might want to alert the neighbors so they don't call your co-workers."

"Our neighbors know when to ignore screaming from this house." The instant the words leave my mouth I know how Andrew will take them. And if his smirk is any indication, he took them exactly that way. "Because D loves to yell at the TV during games."

"If you say so." 

_"I said sit!"_ Danni is obviously letting her mother get to her and I want nothing more than to go up there and calm her down.

"Maybe we'd better take him outside so they don't wake him."

"Yeah, I suppose we should." I follow Andrew through the dining room and out onto the lanai. "You want?" I hold Bug out.

Andrew takes him from my arms and John opens his eyes to squint up at the person holding him. "Hey, there. I'm your Pop-Pop." John yawns, closes his eyes and farts. "Well, guess he told me." Andrew laughs. "What are they talking about, do you know?"

"Yeah. D's decided to lay down the law with Ma."

"It still gets me that you call her 'D'." He shakes his head.

"Why is that such a big deal?"

"It's what her brothers call her. In fact, all of them tend to get called by their initial. Lizzie and I did name them the way we did for a reason."

"So, what, you were planning on having twenty-six kids?"

Andrew shifts Bug to rest on his chest. "No. Just wanted it to be obvious who was born when."

"Really?"

"No. But it sounds good, right?" I shake my head, letting my gaze wander out over the sand to the gently rolling waves. "You want to be out there, don't you?"

I turn my head to blink at Andrew. "What?"

"Danni told me that you all but live in the water. You haven't been for a swim since John was born, have you?" I shake my head. "Then go. I got John and who knows how long Danni and Lizzie will be hashing out the rules for the next three weeks."

"My trunks are in my room."

"You wearing boxers?"

"Yeah."

"Then just shuck your clothes and go. What are swim trunks, really? Just a pair of boxers that you can get away with wearing in public. Unless they're white. They're not white, are they, Son?"

"No, they're not white."

"Then go." He flicks his head in the direction of the water. "I got him. Go."

Standing, I pull my shirt off over my head. "If you're sure?"

"Absolutely." Andrew tilts his head while examining my torso. "No wonder Danni's head over heels for you. She always did go for the muscled guys."

I have no idea how to respond to that so I just lean down and take John from Andrew's arms, lifting him close enough that I can press a kiss to his round little cheek. "Oh, how I'd love to take you in the water with me but your Danno would kill me if I did. She'd say you're not old enough yet. But one day. Soon." With another kiss, I hand John back.

"You know it's not just Danni's aversion to the ocean that would have her telling you he's not ready to go in the water, right?"

"What?"

"He can't have his lower body submerged in water until his umbilical cord falls off."

The first thing that comes to mind is to question his statement but I know it has to fall off otherwise everyone in the world would still have a piece of umbilical cord attached to their abdomen. "Right. I remember that from the parenting class Danni made me take." With a gentle caress to my son's head, I slip off my slippers and step out of my jeans.

Andrew snorts with laughter when he sees my boxers. "Oh, man. She's got you good!"

I look down at the New York Jets logo that covers the material and shrug. "She bought them so I figured I should wear them. And not because she'd get upset if I didn't."

"Oh, sure. Keep telling yourself that." 

John farts again and I can already tell by the look on his face that he's pooping. "You're gonna need to change his diaper soon."

Andrew just nods his head. "I know. You're lucky that babies that are breast fed don't have stinky poop. Just wait until he goes on formula or solid food." The face he makes at the memory has me fearing for the day when that happens.

"Can she nurse him for more than a year?"

"Sure. But at one year they kinda insist on being introduced to solid food. Not to mention it's not healthy for them to live solely on breast milk past one year of age."

"Well, I'm a SEAL. I've been to war. I think I can handle a stinky diaper."

"You think that now." Andrew shakes his head and presses his lips closed in what I've come to refer to as the Williams Stubborn Face and I know from dealing with it from Danni that nothing I say or do will get him to continue that train of thought.

"Okay. I'm gonna-" I point out at the ocean. Andrew nods and takes my place on the love seat, stretching out a bit to give Bug more of his chest to curl up on.

Looking at my son lying on his grandfather's chest I find it difficult to believe that just three days ago he was inside my future wife. The next three weeks are going to drag something fierce as I wait for the day I can call her my wife; something I've wanted to call her for nearly three years now.

Turning toward the ocean, I wonder what Dad would think of Danni and our son and her family. I already know that Mary loves Danni and that she's excited about being an aunt. Likewise I'm sure Mom would adore them both. And Danni would probably get along well with both Mom and Dad. 

Once Danni realized just who I was she told me that she had met Dad once. He had stopped by the precinct one day to speak with her captain and she got introduced; seems that being the only female homicide detective in the state is a rather big deal. She told me that she did like Dad, what little she got to see of him, and that he was talked about with respect until a few weeks before his murder. She's not sure what happened but something changed the department's opinion of him and that's why she was assigned to work his case alone.

I wade into the warm water, diving beneath the waves once it's deep enough to do so safely. I swim about half as far as I usually do before turning back. I can see Andrew standing at the edge of the lanai, holding John so he can 'see' me and waving his little arm. Danni and Ma must still be hashing out the rules so I turn over onto my back and float for a while.

I'm sure I doze off because I startle when I hear my name being called sharply from the direction of the beach. Standing upright, I turn and see my mother standing at the edge of the water, calling my name, her hands firmly planted on her hips. I blink and the image of my mother morphs into Danni who isn't nearly as annoyed as my mother usually was.

"You gonna sleep out here?"

"Was thinking about it." I walk up to where she's standing and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her in tight. She manages to surprise me by not objecting to a full body hug while I'm dripping wet. In fact, she goes up on tip-toe, wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me.

"Hey, now! There are parents present," Andrew calls out.

Danni pulls back and giggles. "As if that'll stop me."

I haven't seen her this happy in a while; by the end of her pregnancy she was miserable from how heavy John was sitting on her. "Well, maybe it should. Just when they can see us, though."

"Scared of my father?"

"Who, me? Mister Big, Bad SEAL? Afraid of a father? Pfft," I scoff. "Now, your mother, on the other hand-" I over exaggerate a shudder. "-she could put the fear of God into Wo Fat."

"And now you know where I get it from."

"I miss you." I don't have to elaborate because I know she knows what I mean.

"I know. I miss you, too. Maybe we can send my parents out in a day or two and I can give you that spanking you've been begging for."

I sigh deeply at the thought of bending over for her to tan my ass. "Yes, please. The sooner the better."

She cups one cheek in her hand. "I'll do what I can." When she steps back she lightly taps my cheek; it's enough and yet not nearly enough. "Come." She spins on her heel and I have to adjust my growing erection before I can follow.

It's nearly a week later before Danni convinces her father to take her mother shopping at The International Marketplace. I don't know what she said but I can guess based on the look and pat on the back he gives me on his way out the door.

Since Danni and her mother have been having non-argument-arguments, I fully expect her to take the brunt of her frustration out on my ass. And she doesn't disappoint. By the time her parents return I can't sit without wincing and walking is fairly difficult as well. I'm positive we're not fooling either of them. At all. Not that I care. I am not ashamed of what we do behind closed doors.

Two weeks after John was born, and one week before I make Danni my wife, the rest of our family is scheduled to arrive. We managed to get her brothers and their families and Mary on the same flight out of LA which makes it easier to get them from the airport. And since there are so many people, I rented each of her brothers an SUV for them to use during their stay. Mary will have use of the Camaro since it's not practical with John's car seat.

We arrive at baggage claim nearly an hour before their plane is scheduled to arrive. Danni immediately sits down and begins nursing John. He seems to want to eat a lot more lately than he did in the first days after his birth. "Sit down. You're making me nervous and that's making John not want to nurse." Danni tugs on my arm when I pace back in front of her for the umpteenth time.

I flop down in the chair to her right. "He seems to be hungrier lately." I lean over and run one finger around his tiny ear.

"I think he's going through a growth spurt. It happens." 

"But this soon? He's only a couple of weeks old."

"And he weighed nearly nine pounds." She laughs and brushes a kiss to my jaw. "You heard the doctor this morning. He's in the ninety-fifth percentile. There is nothing wrong."

"He just doesn't seem to ever be full. Did Grace go through this?"

"Not in the first two months, no." I can feel the sadness wash over her at the reminder that her daughter was taken from her.

"D, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" She hushes me with a hand on my leg.

"I know you didn't. It's fine." She kisses me again and switches John to her other breast. "I could use some water or juice. Do you mind?"

"Not at all." I kiss her temple before getting up and heading for the nearest snack bar.

By the time I return to the bench she's sitting on with a cup of orange juice, it's nearly time for our family's plane to land. "Here ya go." I hand the cup over and sit down, taking John from her. As usual he's sound asleep. I know that babies need lots of sleep, it's how their little brains grow, but I'll be glad when he's old enough to do more than eat, sleep, and poop.

Danni rests her head on my shoulder and is soon dozing. I'm still slightly worried about how much she's sleeping even after being told by Ma that it is perfectly normal for a new mother to be this tired, especially when she's nursing.

Finally the arrivals board shows that the plane has landed, right on time. I nudge Danni awake and she takes Bug back, tucking him into the sling she has wrapped around her torso. After several minutes, people begin streaming in to the baggage area from the terminals. I figure that her brothers and their families will be the last off the plane due to how many children they have to herd along the way. It isn't until most of the other passengers have gone to cluster around the baggage carousel that I see Mary heading our way with three couples and several children following her.

"Hey, Big Brother!" Mary calls when she's close enough to not have to yell. 

I stand and hug her tight. "Hey, yourself. How was the flight?"

"Fine." She leans around me when I set her back on her feet. "Is that my nephew?"

"No, it's some stranger's baby. Did Steve not tell you that I was pretending to be pregnant this whole time?" I can only thank God that Danni and Mary like each other. "Yeah, this is him." Danni's voice takes on that thoroughly content with the world tone that I associate with mothers. Danni hands John over to Mary who instantly begins to coo at him while gently rocking back and forth.

"Hey, D-" one of the men begins to say but is interrupted by Danni. "If you call me anything other than Danni, Daniel, or Danno I will castrate you. Am I clear?" She waves her finger back and forth between all three of the men. They all gulp loudly and nod.

"Good. Now come give me a hug." She stands up and lets them engulf her in a huge group hug. After a few minutes, Danni pushes out of the hug. "Okay, now since there are so many of you I figured we'd save introductions until we get to the house. We've got the three of you rental cars and, Mary, you'll be given access to the Camaro."

"Awesome." Mary does a little fist pump.

"Aw, Danni, I wanted to drive the Camaro," one of her brothers whines.

"Well, tough. You got to drive the Mustang."

"Oh, yeah. To the airport where some worker drove it onto a plane."

Danni shrugs. "You still got to drive it."

"But it's not as cool as the Camaro! You know that's my dream car."

The grin that spreads over her face can only be described as pure evil. "Yes, I know." And now I know why she didn't rip me a new one when I crashed the Mustang.

"You are an evil, evil woman." I lean down to whisper in her ear.

"And you wouldn't have me any other way." She slaps me on the ass before heading toward the carousel where only a few pieces of luggage remain. Of course she's right. If she wasn't so deliciously evil then I wouldn't be so content on my knees at her feet.

It's decided that Danni will ride in the shuttle to the rental car place and then with one of her brothers to where I parked the truck while Mary will ride with me and John. From there everyone will follow me to the house. Since there is very little room at the house Danni and I have been discussing asking everyone to stay at a hotel but have yet to come to a consensus. I think Mary should be allowed to stay with us, we do have the room until Grace comes for the wedding; but Danni thinks Mary should stay at a hotel, too.

We finally agreed to bring it up to everyone and see what they think.

Mary and I spend the walk to the truck catching up. I find out that she's currently single, or rather is still single, and hasn't even been dating. She has decided to concentrate on getting her life together. She wants what I have: someone to share her life with and children. I tell her I'm proud of her and that I'm sure Mom and Dad are too.

When Danni and her brothers arrive, Danni climbs into the back seat letting Mary have the front if she wants. Mary surprises us both by climbing into the back on the other side of John's car seat. The two of them then spend the drive to the house discussing all manner of female things. Danni has never seemed all that interested in 'girl things' like hair, make-up and pretty clothes. But something seems to have changed since she gave birth. When they start talking about female bodily functions, I tune them out. There are a few things a man does not need to know about the female body.

At the house it's controlled (barely) chaos as Danni's brothers and their families spill from the SUVs and file into the house where her mother has been busy cooking lunch. A couple of the older girls spy the beach out the back windows and keep trying to sneak out. Danni gets them all to stand still long enough for introductions with a shrill whistle.

"Steve, I'd like to introduce you to my brothers." She touches the shoulder of the one that complained about not getting to drive the Camaro. "This is Aramis, his wife Teresa and their girls: Abby, Denise, Heather and Jolene." She steps to the next one. "This is Billings, his wife Tracy and their girls: Bailey, Erica and Irene." And the last one. "And this is Canyon, his wife Thea and their girls: Courtney and Faith."

"And Karen is due in about four months," Thea rubs her belly and beams.

"Another girl!?" Andrew comes up and gapes at her. "Are you sure?"

"Had the amnio just last week, Pop." Canyon rubs his wife's shoulders. "I don't see what the big deal is. D-anni-" Canyon stumbles over the name when Danni glares at him. "-gave you a grandson. I love my girls and wouldn't trade them for anything."

"You know I love my granddaughters but I'd like to take a boy fishing or to a game. Sure I can do that with a girl but it's awkward when they're of an age where they need assistance in the bathroom. That's all I'm saying."

John starts fussing in his carrier. "I think someone needs to lie down and stretch." Danni takes the carrier from me and heads up the stairs to our bedroom, leaving me alone with her family. Well, not totally alone, I do still have Mary.

"I'm with her." Mary, the traitor, points after Danni's retreating back and then follows her.

"Yeah, me too!" And one by one all the women head upstairs.

"I don't think Danni will appreciate having all of them in there while she's trying to put him down." I chew my lip while watching all those bodies disappear into my bedroom.

"Aw, don't worry about it, Babe." Aramis pats me on the shoulder as he passes on his way through the dining room to the lanai. "Little bugger's a Williams; he was born with the ability to sleep through anything."

"Still not sure I like my son around all that estrogen."

Danni's brothers laugh. "You got no say. They out number us and you'd be a fool to try and keep them away."

Andrew follows his sons and grabs my arm on his way past. "He'll be fine, Steve. He's the little prince right now. You'll have him all to yourself again in a week."

I'm so out of my depth here that I don't notice that Danni's father and brothers have surrounded me on the lanai until Billings says, "If you hadn't knocked our sister up would you have proposed?"

"Billings!" Andrew chides, slapping Billings on the arm.

"What? We're all thinking it."

I look around and see that all of them are wondering if I had any intention of marrying Danni if she hadn't gotten pregnant. "Before I met your sister I had never thought of marriage and family. My childhood was far from ideal and I didn't want to risk repeating my parents' mistakes. But Danni and Grace convinced me to take that risk." I lick my lips and look each of them in the eye. "Would I have proposed when I did if she hadn't gotten pregnant? Probably not. I hadn't even told her I love her yet. Hell, she didn't tell me until a couple of days before I found out she was pregnant."

I scratch at one eyebrow with my thumb nail. "Within a few hours of finding out I was going to be a father I decided to propose. I didn't know when or how I'd do it but I knew I wanted to." They all share a look and I can tell they don't really believe me. "Surely the fact that I proposed two days after finding out she was pregnant works in my favor. Right?"

"Depends on how you actually did propose, I think," Canyon says and they all nod in agreement.

Of course they're not gonna make this easy for me. "We were in the middle of a shootout when it became clear that I probably wouldn't find a more perfect moment."

They all gape at me. "You're joking, right?" Andrew punches my left shoulder. "Tell me you're joking."

"You seriously think Danni would want something overly romantic? Even I know she's not that much of a girl."

"Sure, but while being shot at by bad guys?"

I shrug. "Okay, maybe I could have waited until after the suspects were in custody but I've learned that when an opportunity presents itself to act on it immediately otherwise you might never get another chance."

Andrew nods. "Fair enough."

We fall silent after that and silence reigns until someone's cell phone buzzes. Aramis pulls his from his pocket and makes a frustrated sound in his throat at the text message. "What's up?" Canyon leans over to try and read the message.

"Teresa says that Jolene is upset at not being the only one with a 'J' name. She wants me to talk to Danni about why she broke the pattern."

"We have a very good reason for the name we chose." I had no idea about the initial pattern in naming the grandkids but it doesn't matter since Bug is named for the grandfather he'll never know.

"Even if they didn't, A,-" Canyon pips up. "-Danni never agreed to it. The only reason she got 'G' is because Grace was born between Faith and Heather."

"And Grace was named for Danni's partner who died on nine eleven."

I frown at Andrew. "I didn't know that."

"Yeah. So apparently she has a thing for naming her kids after people who are important to her but are no longer alive."

"So who's John named for?"

"My dad."

"Wasn't that the case she was working on when you two met?"

"Yeah." Just talking about it makes me miss my dad even more.

"Hey, man, I'm sorry." Canyon leans over and pats my right knee.

"It's fine." I don't like to talk about Dad but just like with Danni I find I can't stop the flow of words. "My dad and I had a difficult relationship. I volunteered for just about every mission to avoid having to come home. His death forced me back to Hawai'i which, of course, lead to me meeting Danni. As much as I regret the wasted opportunities with my dad, I find I'm grateful because I now have my family."

Luckily the subject gets quickly changed and then we're being called in to eat. If I thought a hundred hungry SEALs were messy when eating, they have nothing on the Williams Clan. I don't once hear anyone ask for a specific food item to be passed and yet everyone gets what they want when they want it. And the noise! Everyone talks over each other and appears to carry on multiple conversations at once.

I just sit in my chair between Danni and Grace and let the sounds ebb and flow around me. It's a lot scary but it's even more heartwarming that these people have accepted me into their family.

When it's time for bed I find my way blocked by Ma. "Excuse me," I say, trying to edge around where she's standing in the doorway; something she hasn't done since her first night here.

"Nope, sorry. You'll just have to sleep elsewhere."

"You do realize this is my house, that's my bedroom and, more importantly, that's my family in there."

She settles her weight on one leg and crosses her arms over her chest. "And until you can say 'that's my wife and son' you will be sleeping elsewhere."

"D." I plead for assistance.

"Ma, we talked about this. Not letting Steve sleep with me is like shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped."

"I told you how I feel about this."

"And I told you we're both adults and this is not your house. You don't get to make the rules here."

"So you don't respect me enough to not sleep with him before the wedding?" Ma turns to face where Danni is sitting on the bed wiping John down with a wet wipe.

"Don't even." Danni barely raises her head. "I told you how things were going to be here. You don't like it, you can find a hotel."

Ma spins on her heel and calls out, "Andrew!"

_"Don't push it, Lizzie. It's not your house."_

Ma puts her finger in my face. "I got my eye on you."

"Ma!" Ma looks back over her shoulder one more time before stepping aside and letting me enter my bedroom. "Jeez. What does she think's gonna happen? I already gave birth to your kid."

"And it's not like you're up for it anyway. Right?" I read somewhere that the six week rule is mostly to make sure the woman has fully healed after delivery but that the couple can resume intercourse whenever the woman feels comfortable with it.

"Actually…" The look she gives me has me instantly hard. "I've wanted for a while now but haven't felt comfortable with my parents here."

"Yeah?" I pick John up and kiss his sweet face before putting him in his crib.

"Yeah." Danni's sigh tells me that I'm not going to be getting laid tonight despite what she just said. "But it's just a few days until the wedding, now, and I think we should wait."

"Are you still bleeding?" That was the biggest surprise for me: that a woman bleeds for several weeks post-delivery.

"Yeah." Danni slips her arms around my waist. "But I'm willing to blow you if you want."

I turn in her arms. "That sounds like something I'd be interested in. Except that I was planning on making a snack of your pussy."

"Well, if you don't mind the blood…"

"Uh, yeah, I kinda do."

"Very well." She goes up on her toes to press her lips to mine.

I pick her up and toss her on the bed. Her giggle is loud and I shush her while fighting a laugh myself. "We have to be quiet," I whisper, climbing on the bed to cover her body with mine.

"Mm," she hums, threading her fingers through my hair. "Get me off, then I'll blow you."

"Yes, Mistress."

I settle my weight on my forearms with my fingers in her hair and begin rocking my hips against hers. Her breath catches in her throat and she tilts her head back. Leaning down, I nibble on her delicious skin, taking care to not leave marks. Danni's hands tighten on my back just before she stiffens.

She is glorious in her climax. I love watching her face in that final moment of surrender. I've often thought of asking if I can photograph her masturbating just so I can have a picture of her face but something has always held me back. And so make sure I can see it and commit it to memory to be taken out whenever I'm allowed to pleasure myself.

Before she has even fully caught her breath, she's pushing me over onto my back so she can fish my erection out of my board shorts. She licks a quick stripe up the side then swallows me whole, her cheeks hollowing as she does her level best to suck my brain out through my dick.

I bury the fingers of my right hand in her hair and wrap my left around the slats of the headboard. Despite not giving head very often she sucks like a pro and soon I'm tugging on her hair to warn her I'm about to come.

Danni pulls off right before I explode and jerks me through my orgasm. When I have the energy to open my eyes again, I find her straddling my hips, my spent cock nestled between her thighs, licking my come off her fingers. The smile she gives when she notices me watching has a shiver skating down my spine.

Placing her left hand next to my head, Danni leans over and offers me the middle finger of her right hand. I can see a glob of come slowly sliding down it. I open my mouth and suck the digit in, swirling my tongue around to get every drop.

Danni has mentioned on more than one occasion that she wishes she was a guy sometimes because she'd love to put me on my knees and fuck my face. She's done it a time or two with a dildo but it's just not the same. She fucks my mouth with her finger, then pulls it out and licks her way into my mouth.

I grab her ass with both hands and grind up against her. I'm still soft but also still incredibly horny. It's been nearly three months since we've had any kind of sex and the past two weeks of watching her nurse my son has pushed me really close to the edge.

She has another orgasm, then pulls out of my arms. And that's when I notice something wet on my chest. A look down reveals that she's begun to leak breast milk. "Damnit!" She climbs out of the bed and tosses her shirt at my head.

I pluck it out of the air and get up to drop it in the hamper. "Is it past his feeding time?"

"No," she says but she's picking him up, waking him and offering him her breast. "Any kind of stimulation causes the let-down of my milk. So he gets to eat a half hour early tonight."

"Hm. Okay. I'm gonna take a shower." She nods absently at me, her entire focus on making sure John latches on properly.

I take the longest solo shower of my adult life and I freely admit (even if only to myself) that I'm using it to hide. Much as I love my soon-to-be wife, staring at her naked breasts while she feeds my son would be too much of a temptation.

When I finally emerge from the bathroom, Danni has returned John to his crib and is curled on her side facing away from the bathroom. I slide under the covers behind her, close but not touching, and she turns to snuggle up against me with her head tucked under my chin. Danni isn't a cuddler but I guess she feels she needs the comfort of my touch.

The next day, the chaos seems to be doubled. Danni sees the panicked look in my eyes and shoos me out of the house. I head to The Palace only to be run off by Kono. At a loss as to what to do or where to go, I just start driving. It is with a lot of surprise that I find myself pulling into the parking lot of The Punchbowl. I haven't visited Dad in a while so I guess my subconscious feels it's long overdue.

Crouching down at the foot of his grave, I start talking. I tell him all about John's birth, how terrified I was (not that I let it show), about meeting Danni's parents and brothers and how intimidating they are. I tell him that I miss him and how I'm starting to understand his reasoning in sending Mary and me away after Mom died. 

Since John's birth I've discovered that there isn't anything I won't do to keep him safe; up to and including sending him away for his own safety. So, yeah, I get it now. He sent us away despite knowing that he wouldn't be there for us because it was the best way to keep us safe.

Several hours pass before I run out of words. By the time I stop talking my throat is sore and my voice is cracking. "Well, Dad. I guess that's all for now." I stand up, shaking the feeling back into my feet. "When John's a bit older, Danni and I'll bring him by to meet you. You'd adore them, Dad. Danni is exactly the type of woman you'd want me to marry and John, well, he's still too little to really know yet, but I'm sure you'd love him just the same."

I stand there staring down at my father's grave for several minutes, reading the words etched in the stone, before saying the words I haven't said to him since I was a child, "I love you, Dad." Then I turn and make my way back to the truck.

Those few hours talking to my dad allow me to relax and enjoy the rambunctious Williams Clan especially since they're celebrating me becoming a member of their ohana. But even so, Danni finds time to be alone with me, usually when she's feeding John (much to the annoyance of her mother) but a few times it's just the two of us.

It quickly becomes apparent that they're all used to being crammed into a house that's too small to hold them all; especially the women. Watching Danni, her mother and sisters working in the kitchen all together is like watching a well-choreographed dance. I don't once see anyone end up in someone else's way. It's amazing.

The day before the wedding Danni's brothers and father pile into my truck for the drive to the tux place. More than once I have to yell for the three overgrown children in the back to behave.

We're met at the shop by Chin who smirks the moment he gets a look at my face. "Ever wanted brothers, Steve?"

"If I did, I don't anymore." He laughs and follows us inside.

"Commander McGarrett!" A middle-aged man bustles toward us. "Here for your wedding attire?"

"Yes, we are."

"Dude." Canyon smacks Billings on the arm. "Our sister's marrying a celebrity!"

"I wouldn't call myself a celebrity. Besides, if I am, then so is the rest of the team."

"Oh, please, Commander!" The shop employee interjects. He turns to Danni's brothers and father. "Crime is down across the board since Five-Oh was formed. There isn't a person on this island who doesn't know who Five-Oh are!" He turns to head toward the back of the shop. "But come. Detective Williams was very clear about how long you should be here for."

"Does she have the whole island under her control?" Aramis bumps my shoulder with his.

I shrug. "Most of the male population, probably. Your sister can be quite persuasive when she wants to be."

"Gets that from her mother, she does." Andrew drapes an arm over my shoulders. "I learned quickly that if I just do what she wants my life runs smoother. I bet you've discovered that, too, haven't you?" I'm still trying to form an answer to that when Andrew pulls me away from his sons. "If you just do as you're told you won't ever be walking funny or have difficulty sitting." He pats me on the back and walks away.

I can only blink after him because he just confirmed what I already knew: he is very much aware of the nature of my relationship with his daughter because he has a similar one with her mother. I wonder if Danni knows that her mother's a Domme.

But if Andrew knows that Danni Tops me then shouldn't Ma? And if she knows why is she trying to keep us apart? Surely she knows that a Dominant/submissive relationship is basically a co-dependent one and that we need to be near one another quite often.

"Steve!" Billings grabs my arm and pulls me into the back. "We're waiting for you."

"Sorry."

"Oh, I'm Marquis, by the way." The employee finally introduces himself. "I think you'll really like what the Detective has chosen for you to wear." He pulls a sheet off a rack full of Polynesian style sarongs in every color of the rainbow. "She said that the groom-" Marquis points at me. "-is to wear the Navy blue one and everyone else can pick the color they want. Except for 'Pop'." He looks around and when Andrew raises his hand, grabs his arm to drag him from the area. "She also said that you're not to see his attire until tomorrow."

Canyon walks over to the rack and picks one up. "D wants us to wear skirts?"

"They're not skirts. They're Polynesian sarongs; traditional Hawaiian clothes."

"Oh." All four of them grab the color they want and we all strip down to our boxers to learn how to put them on.

Danni's brothers make fun of each other and I hope they're getting it out of their system because I do not want to see Danni upset on our wedding day.

Just over an hour later Marquis leads Andrew out from the back and escorts all of us to the front door. "Please don't hesitate to call should you need anything. And congrats, Commander."

"Mahalo." We shake hands and head back to where I parked the truck, each of us carrying a garment bag slung over one shoulder.

At the house the bags are taken from us and hung up in the downstairs closet since we won't be allowed upstairs in the morning.

I go in search of my bride and find her in our bedroom, feeding our son. "Hey," I say softly, closing the door behind me before kicking off my slippers and climbing up on the bed to lie next to her.

"Hey." She leans over and kisses my nose. "How'd it go?"

"Just fine. Thank you, by the way." She gives a tiny little smile and closes her eyes. "You okay?"

"Mm. Just tired."

"Still?"

Her eyebrows jump up in lieu of her shrugging her shoulders. "It's exhausting creating a whole other person and then feeding said person from your own body. Plus, my family is draining; as well you know."

I press a kiss to her forehead. "I'll guard the door so you can rest."

"Good Dog." And just like that, she's asleep. I stay next to her on the bed until John releases her nipple and then I carry him downstairs where I put him in his baby hammock and rock him back to sleep.

That night, we have the rehearsal dinner. Everyone involved in the ceremony, plus a few extra, pile into my backyard. The actual rehearsal goes rather smoothly and then it's time to eat.

Kame provides shrimp and shave ice and Andrew grills steak and chicken. It quickly becomes a luau, complete with several impromptu hula dances. It also proves to be a great test of John's patience with being passed around. He spends more time in someone's arms than he does in his baby hammock.

At the end of the night after the last person has left, Danni kisses my cheek and tells me she'll see me at the alter tomorrow evening. It's the first night we've not slept in the same bed since John was born and I find I don't like this particular tradition.

Danni's brothers herd me outside where they've stoked the bonfire and refilled the cooler with beer. "You're not planning on getting me drunk, are you?" I eye what appears to be at least three cases floating in the melting ice.

"Nah. No need to drink it all." Aramis slaps me on the back, nearly sending me sprawling into the sand. "Besides, D would kill us if you show up hung over."

"You do recall her asking you to not call her that, right?"

All three laugh. "Sure, but she's not here right now."

"Yeah but if you call her that in private what's to keep you from slipping and calling her that to her face?"

"The fact that she'll punch us in the nuts if we do." I just shake my head. 

It's obvious that they love their sister, and she them, but I've never seen a family tease each other the way this one does. It will definitely take some getting used to.

They seem intent on getting all the teasing out of their system which means they leave me alone, for the most part, for most of the evening. Occasionally one or more tries to pull me into it but I just smile and don't let them.

"Ah," Billings says, making a pushing motion in my direction with his hands. "D's got you too well trained." I pause with my beer bottle half-way to my mouth, scared they know about that part of my relationship with their sister (not that there's anything wrong with it, just that it's none of their business). But when the jokes turn to how military men make the best house husbands I know they don't have a clue.

At some point during the night we climb into the hammocks Andrew and I strung up across the lanai. I'm positive I won't sleep a wink but manage to fall asleep fairly quickly.

My name being called along with a small hand gently shaking my shoulder wakes me and it is with some effort that I open my eyes to see Grace standing beside my hammock. "Danno said to give you this." 'This' being a pair of my swim trunks. "She also said to not tire yourself out too much. Just do your normal laps and return to the beach." Grace places a kiss on my cheek. "Oh, and you don't have to shave if you don't want. AND breakfast is in the kitchen." She twirls away, her hair spinning out behind her. My heart clenches at just how much I love that little girl and her mother.

With the ease of having grown up sleeping in hammocks, I get up and head around the corner of the house to the little changing area my dad built years ago. Once in my trunks, I head down the beach to the water. By the time I've completed my first lap my new brothers have woken up and one even tries to join me.

When I finally leave the water, I decided on two extra laps because (if Grace told me Danni's words exactly) I was given an order by Mistress and just the thought that she cares enough to put me in my headspace today (when it's actually all about her) has me fighting an erection, I find Canyon (the brother who tried to swim with me) standing just above the tide line holding a towel.

"How do you do it?" He shakes his head, handing me the towel. "I just don't see how you do that many laps. What was it? Ten?"

"An even dozen today."

"Is that normal for you?"

I shake my head. "No. I usually only do ten but I felt I needed the extra two today."

"You squids sure are crazy."

I smirk at his proper use of the nickname. "Yeah, we are. And this one is crazy for your sister."

He just shakes his head again and we share a laugh on our way up the beach.

Breakfast is mostly whatever can be found in the kitchen. Aramis finds some eggs and bacon. Billings makes French toast and Canyon (much to the displeasure of his brothers) makes oatmeal. 

I had thought the teasing from last night would abate on Danni's big day but it hasn't. If anything, it's gotten worse. In fact, I'm afraid they're going to start throwing punches soon. But things calm down when Ma walks into the kitchen looking for something to force feed Danni.

As she leaves the room she makes the 'I'm watching you' motion with her hand. Her sons share a look before nodding and mumbling "Yes, ma'am", their heads lowered.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" I call after her. A very evil chuckle is my only answer. "I'm guessing that's a 'no'?" The four of us burst out in laughter.

Lunch is provided by Kame and is noisier due to many of the guests arriving early. And the party atmosphere from last night is still going strong.

About an hour before sunset Ma appears and informs us it's time for us to start getting dressed. I go first since I'm the groom. When I exit the bathroom, I'm greeted by numerous wolf whistles and someone (Kono) calling out "Sexy!"

Once all five of us are dressed the florist appears, her assistant lost behind a huge white box. "Who's my groom?" I raise my hand. "Should have known!" She waves her hand at my sarong. "These are for you." She reaches into the box and pulls out a flower crown made from Navy blue hibiscus. I bend my head and she places them on my hair. "There." She clasps her hands under her chin when I stand up and she can see what the crown looks like.

Based on the way Danni's brothers have been teasing each other and making snide comments about what she wants us to wear, I fully expect them to object to the crowns. But they manage to surprise me by becoming serious and calmly bowing their heads so the florist can place a crown of flowers in the same color as their sarong upon their hair.

Then Mamo appears, dressed in his own traditional attire since Danni asked him to officiate. "Danni says it's time."

Taking a deep breath I lead my new brothers and Chin out of the house and across the lawn to where our ohana is gathered around the circle of flowers that Danni and I will stand in for the ceremony. Everyone nods and smiles as I pass and I try to smile back but it feels more like a grimace, I'm so nervous.

Once I'm standing next to Mamo, he nods his head and Grace, Kono and Danni's sisters begin walking toward us. They all look very lovely in their traditional Hawaiian dresses, the flowers in their hair the same color as their husbands; except for Kono whose flowers and dress color matches Chin's and Grace who's wearing Navy blue. I wink and smile at Grace and she runs the rest of the way, jumping into my arms.

The strength of my love for her and her mother is threatening to overwhelm me so I hug Grace tight and bury my face in her hair. Before I'm truly ready, Chin taps me on the arm. When I look up to see what he wants, my gaze is snagged by the sight of my beautiful bride standing at the top of the steps leading down from the lanai.

She's poised there with one hand on her father's arm, a circle of Navy blue hibiscus flowers on her head; looking every inch the princess of my dreams which is reinforced by Andrew wearing a traditional Hawaiian chieftain's robes. I fully expected Danni to wear a Navy blue dress like Grace but she's wearing a white one and has Bug strapped to her chest with a white baby wrap. When she sees me looking, her face splits into a huge grin and her father leads her to me.

Once they're close enough I reach out one hand and assist her in stepping into the ring of flowers. "Hi." she beams up at me.

"Hi." I can't seem to stop staring at her. "You're so beautiful."

Her cheeks pinken and she drops her eyes to the ground. "You look very handsome, yourself."

I lean down and kiss her cheek earning myself a stern throat clearing from Mamo. "It's not time for that yet, Steven." Everyone chuckles and Danni's blush deepens. I find it endearing that she can still be this shy while holding our one-month-old son. "Ohana, we come here today to celebrate this _kane_ and this _wahine_ joining their hearts and souls in marriage. If anyone knows why they cannot do so, please speak now." He pauses for a moment but no one speaks up. "Good. Now, who brings them here today?"

Everyone says, "We do!" And now I'm blushing along with Danni.

"Excellent." Mamo turns to me. "Steven, do you come here today of your own free will to join your life with this wahine, to love and protect her, to make a home with her, be a father to her children and help her in all things for all eternity?"

My smile gets bigger. "I do."

"Good." He turns to Danni. "Daniel, do you come here today of your own free will to join your life with this kane, to love and protect him, to make your home with him, be a mother to his children and help him in all things for all eternity?"

"I do."

"Good." He looks out over the people gathered. "Steven and Daniel have prepared their own vows. May I have the rings, please?"

I set Grace down and she extends her right arm, letting Mamo untie the ribbon on the little pillow strapped to her wrist. 

Mamo hands me Danni's ring. I'm suddenly extremely nervous and for a long moment I totally blank on what I had planned to say. But then it comes back to me and I clear my throat before starting. "D, as everyone knows words are your strong suit, not mine." Everyone chuckles. "I knew I would need help expressing how I feel about you so I went online to look up romantic quotes or poems but couldn't find any that seemed to fit. And then I remembered that you don't go for that romantic stuff. So I changed my search and found a quote that explains exactly how I feel. I found it on some random website and the person who posted it didn't say who it was credited to so I decided to change it up; put it in my own words." I take a deep breath to calm my nerves and find my center. "I didn't fall in love with you because that implies I didn't have a choice in it. But I did have a choice and I chose to walk into love with you. My eyes were wide open every step of the way because when it comes down to it I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you." Half way through my vows, Danni's eyes begin to fill with tears and as I say the last words, they spill over her lower lids and course down her cheeks. Taking her left hand in mine, I slip the ring on and give it a slight twist once it's fully seated. "For all eternity, I choose you." I lift her hand and place a kiss to her palm. Her breath hitches in her chest and I give her a wink.

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "Daniel." Mamo nudges her shoulder and hands her my ring.

She takes the ring in her right hand and slips on my finger. "Wow, Steve. I never knew you had that in you." She takes a deep breath. "Someone should mark this down: I actually have no idea what to say." Everyone laughs and I wink at her again. "But I shall try." She squares her shoulders and clears her throat. "Steve, I love you. Everyone knows I always have the right words. But when I think of you there are no words to adequately express just how I feel about you. But recently I read a line that I think is perfect: I fell in love with you the way you fall asleep; slowly at first then all at once. And I went kicking and screaming, too. I did not want to be in love with my boss. That just causes too many complications.

"But after awhile I realized that I didn't just fall in love with you, I chose you. Your love, your life, your heart, your light, your goodness and now-" She rubs the back of John's head where it's resting over her heart. "-your children. And every day for all eternity I will choose you." She lifts my hand and places a kiss on my palm.

Mamo says, "And now by the power invested in me by the great state of Hawai'i, I now pronounce you _pilikua_ and _wahine male_." He nods and beams at us. "Oh, go on! Kiss her! You know you want to."

My grin gets bigger; I take her face gently in my hands and begin kissing her softly. She places her hands on my waist and kisses me back. We spend a long moment pressing our lips together until finally her father calls out, "That's enough, now."

We pull apart while everyone laughs. "Well, now. At least we know they really like each other," Mamo says with a chuckle. "Beloved ohana, I am honored to be the first to present to you Commander and Detective Steven and Daniel McGarrett and their children, Grace Williams and John McGarrett."


	10. Chapter 10

I stare down at the piece of plastic with the same stunned feeling I did over a year ago. Only difference between then and now is that I know that Steve won't run. I'm not sure how he'll take my news, John is barely ten months old, but I know he won't leave us.

It took him a long time to convince me that he's here to stay, that he loves me and wants to make a life with me. Just the other day, when I was beginning to suspect, I asked him how many children he wanted and he responded with however many I want to give him. I thought his answer was odd until he explained that I'm the one who does all the work involved in creating a life and however many times I want to go through that is how many children he wants.

When I pressed for a deeper answer he told me that before he met me he had never considered becoming a father, his own wasn't the best of role models, but once he accepted that his future lies with me he realized that he wanted to become not only a great step-father to Grace but a better father to our children than his had been. I couldn't help but kiss him breathless for that. And of course, as always happens, that kiss led to other things. I woke up the next morning with a silly smile on my face.

But now here I am, just over ten months after giving birth to our first child, my second, preparing to tell him that it's all happening again. Luckily this time is more like my pregnancy with Grace.

The baby monitor crackles to life with the sounds of my son waking up and I quickly change into my swimsuit before going to get him from his crib.

John is ready to start walking, really it'll be any day now, and so whenever I go to get him from his crib he's standing, holding onto the railing while dancing to a song only he can hear.

"There's my baby!" I say in a sing-song voice. John grins, showing off his six teeth and giggles. "Daddy should be about done with his swim. Shall we join him?"

"Da! Da!" I had been convinced that John would say Danno first but he hasn't yet. Instead he's giving Steve reason to gloat by saying Da whenever anyone mentions Steve or he hears or sees Steve. I keep trying to tell him it's not a contest.

"Oh, but you had a good sleep," I murmur against his sleep warmed skin as I lift him from the crib to carry him to the changing table. As soon as I put him down he reaches up and grabs ahold of the neckline of my suit. "Just a minute." I gently remove his hand. "I have to get you out of this nasty diaper first." He pouts, something I'm convinced he learned from Grace. "Just as impatient as your Daddy." I bop him on the tip of the nose with a finger before slipping a pair of the baby board shorts Mary found in some boutique in LA on. And damn if he doesn't look just like his father.

"Da!" He claps as if he's said something truly spectacular.

"Yes, yes. I know 'Da' is your favorite but even _he_ can't do this." I sit down in the rocker and offer him my left breast. He latches on eagerly and begins to suck like he hasn't eaten in days instead of hours. His eyes even roll back in his head making me wonder if my milk is the best thing he'll ever taste. "Always so hungry, my son. I think we can give table food a try. What do you think?"

He opens one eye and pauses in his suckling. His little eyebrow quirks up as if to say he has no preference before he closes his eye again and resumes eating. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

I wiggle until I'm more comfortable in the chair, rocking gently, and let my mind wander. I hope the baby growing under my heart is a girl. Grace would love a sister and Steve would make a fabulous father to a little girl; just look at how well he took to Grace. But I'll be happy with another boy, just so long as it's as healthy as its siblings.

I've been able to nurse John far longer than I was able to nurse Grace, my agreement with Stan said that when Grace no longer needed night time feedings she was to go live with him, and unfortunately that happened when she was two months which caused my milk to dry up when she was four months. I have thoroughly enjoyed this special time with my son. It has now become so natural to me that I know when it's time to switch to the other breast without the aid of a timer. And of course, John knows this too and will usually let me know by spitting my nipple out and trying to get to my other breast.

But not so this morning. We both doze off, it's still too early for me but John insists on having his breakfast just after sunrise. I stir when I feel him slip off my nipple. Looking down at his sweet face I feel a rush of love that leaves me momentarily breathless.

And then he opens his eyes and looks up at me with his father's eyes. I know that he's too young to truly know what love is but I like to think that I can see that emotion shining in the hazel depths much like I see it in Steve's.

I smile down at him and turn him so he can fed from my right breast. He latches on and suckles a little bit slower than before. "Getting full, are you?"

He reaches up with his right hand and places his fingers on my lips. I kiss them and he smiles around my nipple. "Eat, please. Daddy'll be done with his swim soon."

He closes his eyes and goes back to his breakfast while playing with his right ear. I make a mental note to call the doctor to schedule an appointment to make sure he doesn't have an ear infection. 

Several minutes later, John spits my nipple out and burps without any help from me. I can't help but laugh at the proud look on his face. "Yes, good job. But you're soon not going to be allowed to do that."

Standing from the chair, I prop John on my left hip and head downstairs, detouring to the kitchen for an apple for my breakfast, then through the dining room and out onto the lanai. I can just barely make out Steve far from shore. I point at the dot I'm sure is Steve and John copies me. "Da?" He turns to look at me.

"Yes, that's Daddy. He'll be in soon." And with Steve, soon is relative; especially when he's swimming. "Daddy loves to swim."

"Da s'im?"

I blink down at him. "Did you just say 'swim'?"

"S'im?" He cocks his head. "Nanno s'im?"

"Nanno…" It takes me a moment but then it clicks that he's saying 'Danno'. "You little stinker! You have no problem with your D's when it comes to saying 'Da' but when it comes to 'Danno' suddenly you can't say them?" He giggles as if it's the funniest thing in the world. And I guess to a ten month old it probably is. I can't help but chuckle along with him, rolling my eyes at how smart my son apparently is. I take a bite of my apple and lick my hand when the juice drips down. 

"Nanno!" John kicks his feet. "S'im! S'im, Nanno!" He points at the water.

"We have to wait for Daddy, Bug-a-boo."

"Da!" His face lights up and he claps his hands. "Da s'im!" He points again at the water.

"Have patience, my son! As soon as Daddy finishes his swim he'll take you."

He slaps my bare shoulder with his open hand. "S'im, Nanno!"

"Do not hit me. I said you'll get to go in the water as soon as Daddy finishes."

He pouts and turns his head so that his left cheek is resting on my shoulder. "S'im," he mumbles.

"Life is so hard, isn't it?" He sighs as if saying yes. I brush a kiss to his black curls. I feel like he's about to take his first steps and I have a great idea for how he should take those first steps.

Steve doesn't leave the water until after I've finished my apple and thrown the core away. I walk down to the shoreline when Steve stands up in the waist high water and begins walking toward shore. When he spies us standing there he points and yells, "There's my baby!"

John bounces on my hip and squeals "Da! Da!" Steve laughs and calls back "John!"

When the water is gently lapping at Steve's ankles, I crouch down and put John on his feet, holding on until he catches his balance. Steve comes to a complete stop and then crouches down when he sees what I'm about to do.

John holds his hands at shoulder height, twisting his wrists like he's revving a motorcycle. I slowly let him go, keeping my hands close to his torso in case he stumbles when he lifts his right foot before placing it in front of his left.

"Look at you!" Steve gives John encouragement, clapping his hands and cheering. "Come to Daddy!" John claps his hands along with Steve, wobbling a little, and laughs in delight. "Come on, Bug. You can do it!"

John picks up his left foot and rocks back on his right heel before he finds his center again and puts it down with care in front of his right foot. John stops and seems to be judging the distance between him and Steve. Just when I think he's decided it's too far he giggles again and takes the next dozen steps with startling confidence. He's within reach of Steve's out stretched hands when Steve scoots back a couple of steps. Luckily John thinks it's a game and squeals with delight before toddling the last couple of steps.

"Well done, my son!" Steve picks him up and tosses him gently in the air, catching him easily and turning him upside down to smack him lightly on his bottom. The sound of my son's squeals of laughter brings a tear to my eye as my heart flips over.

I never thought I'd ever be here, watching the man I love playing with our child. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. "Steve." I double over with laughter when my husband turns to face me with John tucked under his arm backwards.

"Yes?"

"He did eat recently."

Steve brushes that aside. "Yeah, breast milk. I've yet to make him puke by tossing him around after he's nursed."

"True, but one of these days it won't be breast milk."

"But that won't be for a bit, yet. Right?"

"Maybe." Something in my tone has him narrowing his eyes at me.

"You have something to tell me?"

In an effort to distract him, I crouch down and make 'gimme' motions with my hands silently asking him to have John walk back to me.

"Don't think I'll be so easily distracted, Danno." Steve sets John on his feet.

"Nanno!" John points at me. "Nanno!"

Steve looks from John to me and back before releasing him so he can make his wobbly way back to me. "Did he just say Danno?"

I snatch John up and kiss him all over his face making him laugh his lovely belly laugh. "No, I believe what he said was 'Nanno'."

"C'mon, D. You're just splitting hairs, here."

John has two fistfuls of my hair making it so I can't lift my head fully to grin at Steve. "He has one other word, too."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

I hitch John up so that our faces are pressed together. "John, what was Daddy doing?"

He leans back and frowns at me, then looks beyond Steve at the ocean and points. "Da, s'im!"

Steve's as stunned as I was. "Did he…?" We lock eyes and he laughs. "He's a smart one, isn't he?"

"So it would appear." Steve steps closer and tickles John's back. "Wanna go for a swim?"

"S'im!" John practically jumps from my arms and into Steve's.

"Figures. My son is an effing fish!"

"Love you." Steve kisses the tip of my nose.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," I mutter, wiping the back of my hand across my nose.

"S'im, Da!" John says with a whine in his voice.

"Okay, okay." Steve turns and begins wading into the water until it's waist high. He then stoops down until it's chest high so John can float and kick his feet, pretending to swim.

"We should really consider putting him in swimming lessons." I wrap my arms around Steve's neck and let the water take my weight.

Steve turns his head and captures my lips. "That's not such a bad idea."

"I've been known to have one or two."

"'ohn s'im!"

All three of us laugh. "Oh, we're gonna have our hands full with this one!" I reach over Steve's shoulder and tug on one of John's curls.

We spend several enjoyable hours playing in the water until a bigger wave hits and Steve decides it's time to get out. Plus John's little fingers are starting to prune.

Steve grabs a blanket and spreads it under one of the palm trees near the sand so that he can help John build sand castles, although John actually takes great pleasure in smashing them, while keeping the sun off John's tender skin.

I'm stretched out on my stomach, watching my men play in the sand. It's a lovely afternoon; only thing that would make it perfect would be Grace's presence. But she's spending her Spring Break on the mainland with Stan.

Suddenly the sun is blocked and I look up and see Steve's silhouette. "Don't think I don't remember that you've got something you need to tell me, D."

I sigh and roll over onto my side, propping my head on my hand. "Remember when I asked how many kids you want?"


	11. The Road Not Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Stan attends his ex-girlfriend's wedding he realizes that he missed his chance in a big way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hated making Stan the bad guy (even if he isn't the Stan we see on the show) but I had to explain why Danni didn't have custody of Grace. Because of that my muse wanted to show that he really isn't a bad guy, just a stubborn one who refuses to admit when he's wrong.

I can remember the day I first saw Daniel Williams like it was yesterday.

We were both at the courthouse for various reasons; me to try and get an injunction lifted and her (as I found out later) to testify against some punk she had arrested a couple of months previous.

When I first saw her impatiently waiting for the elevator, her foot tapping like that'll make the car arrive faster, I didn't know she was a police officer because she was dressed in a pencil skirt and matching blazer. I thought she might be a lawyer or court reporter or even a judge. Although to be honest I discarded that last one rather quickly once I saw her face; she was much too young to be a judge. But the point is: I didn't think she was there to take the witness stand.

We rode the elevator together and she gave me a tight smile that clearly said she was only smiling back because it is the polite thing to do.

Once I got to the courtroom for my case, I forgot about her. Until she entered the courthouse cafeteria.

It seemed as if everyone and their dog was at the courthouse that morning and there was nowhere for her to sit. I offered to let her join me. By unspoken agreement we didn't ask why the other was at the courthouse; choosing instead to make polite small talk.

I did learn a few things about her that day: she's the youngest (and only girl) of four, her parents are still happily married, she's fairly close to her family, considers her brothers' wives to be her sisters and (except for college) has lived within a ten-mile radius of her parents' house.

I wish I could say she learned as much about me but I enjoyed listening to her soft New Jersey accent so much that I deflected most questions. If this bothered her, she never said.

When it was time for us to go back to our respective courtrooms, I asked for her number; only slightly surprised when she gave it without batting an eye. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I expected her to laugh in my face (I know I'm a good looking guy), it's just that I expected her to at least hesitate. I mean, I was a complete stranger at that point. I could have been on trial for assault or something for all she knew. Turns out that she was trusting her 'detective instincts' about me.

Wish I could say that I spent the rest of our lives proving them right. But then we wouldn't be here, now would we?

No, I would not be here, at her house, watching her marry another man. A man who is everything I wasn't. A man who makes her whole body light up with joy just at the sound of his voice. A man who isn't me.

Danni and I dated for a few months before I even tried to have sex with her. She is the type of woman that you don't want to step out of line with and I wanted to make sure that she was feeling the same things as me before we got naked for the first time.

Normally when I take a woman to bed for the first time I plan it out; make sure it is a perfect night of romance. But Danni is different and our first time happened before I had even really decided it was time. And that just made it even more prefect. The sex was amazing. She woke me up more than once to go another round.

After that all our dates ended with sex. For several we didn't even make it out the door. The woman was damn near insatiable. But then again, so was I. Danni is not like any other woman I've ever dated. She is definitely a blue collar, down to earth, tell it like it is person. So much so that I worried about her fitting in with my friends.

But I shouldn't have worried. Danni is nothing if not adaptable. The first time I took her to a black tie affair I had my assistant take her shopping. Which just pissed her off. She couldn't believe that I thought she didn't have a dress suitable for such an event. I asked if she was planning on wearing her prom dress. She flushed and then slapped me. I took that as a yes; especially since she spun on her heel and marched from the room, calling for my assistant to join her.

We ended up being late because I just had to have her when I saw her in the form-fitting black sheath. She complained for the rest of the night that I messed up her hair and make-up. But the small smile and light blush across her cheeks told me that she wasn't really upset about it.

We were happy for just four short months. The night before it all changed, I took her to dinner and dancing in Manhattan and then we spent the night in my penthouse. I had planned on proposing but something held me back. I wish I had just done it.

The next day she had a doctor's appointment in the morning, then we planned to meet for lunch. When I arrived at the restaurant she was already there. I kissed her hello and sat down next to her. She blurted out that she was pregnant. The people around us started applauding; several of the men congratulated me. The maître d' even brought over some sparkling grape juice.

I didn't react well at all. I jumped up and dragged her out of the restaurant, calling her every name I could think of. To give her credit she didn't struggle with me in order to lessen the scene I was causing. Seeing her tear stained face made me feel guilty but I hardened my heart against her. 

She got herself pregnant in order to trap me but I'll be damned if I let her get her grubby little hands on my money; or so I thought based on a friend who was being sued for paternity by a one-night stand.

I let the experience of a friend cloud my judgment of Danni. Deep down I knew she didn't get pregnant on purpose; that she didn't want my money. But once I had set myself on that path I couldn't turn from it. I had to keep going even after my anger had cooled.

Because of that I forced my way into all her appointments. Even once the doctor started checking to see if she was dilating yet. I know I was just piling on the stress but I couldn't seem to make myself stop. I was determined that she wasn't getting a single dime of my money and that's why I sued for custody. I never expected her to settle by offering me custody in exchange for a few things.

She surprised me by asking for Grace to carry the Williams name. My lawyer had explained that she could ask for it since she'd be paying child support. I had no issues with that. It was easy to explain why Grace didn't carry my name and most people accepted it.

But the amount of visitation she wanted was something I knew I could use to control her and so I did. If she angered me even slightly, I'd take away days, weeks, _months_. And while we lived in Jersey she never fought back. She'd plead with me at the moment I made the pronouncement but after that she wouldn't say a thing until the time was up.

But then I got an offer to head up the Honolulu office.

I knew she would be furious that I was moving so far away but I didn't care. In fact I saw it as my way of controlling her even more. If she had to save to fly out to visit Grace, or to have Grace go to her, then I could have a major say in when she got time with Grace.

Imagine my surprise when my lawyer told me that her lawyer filed an injunction to keep me in Jersey until a hearing could be held.

Danni's lawyer said that we have joint legal custody which means that I cannot make legal decisions for Grace (such as moving across the country) without Danni's approval. And of course she was dead set against my moving. Well, my moving with Grace. She asked the judge to give her custody so that I wouldn't miss out on the opportunity being offered to me. My lawyer countered with the fact that Grace had lived her whole life in my house and it would be a shock for her to suddenly be moved into her mother's two-bedroom apartment.

The judge agreed and let me move with Grace since it would mean a better life for her.

To say that Danni was beyond pissed would be a major understatement. If she could have killed me right then and there and gotten away with it, I'm sure she would have. As it was her eyes were shooting daggers at my head. She stopped speaking to me unless absolutely necessary and when the time came for us to leave her mother had to pry Grace from her arms.

Knowing how Danni feels about Jersey, I never in a million years expected her to move to Hawai'i but I should have. Grace became her whole world; especially after I took custody. But I let her presence on the island stoke the anger that had started to abate and I used not only her visitation but also her job to control her.

Until she met Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett, that is.

Something about him had her becoming the woman I fell in love with again. There was even the one instance where he used the Governor to get me to treat Danni fairly. I should have known he wouldn't let me get away with revoking her visitation over something that was not her fault. But I didn't know he loved her at that point. He probably didn't know it himself.

But it quickly became obvious that they were falling in love. And being in love looks good on Danni. She's a beautiful woman who deserves to be loved. I can only regret that it's not me loving her.

The ceremony is in Steve's backyard. His beach front property makes the setting just perfect for Danni. I can't imagine myself getting married outside but it fits with her and Steve.

She says her vows to Steve with their son strapped to her chest and our daughter beaming up at her from Steve's side where she's holding his hand. They're a family: my daughter, the woman I love, the man she loves and their son. I know that Grace considers me to be part of their family - or as the Hawaiians call it, ohana - but I doubt Steve and Danni do. I feel like an outsider standing here watching as she pledges her life to this man who is everything I can never be.

Once they've said their vows and exchanged their rings, the party begins. There is more food than I've ever seen before but I don't doubt for one minute that it'll all be gone by the time the party winds down.

I stay on the opposite side of the yard from Danni's family for most of the evening. But I eventually realize that I need to tell her a few things and so I begin searching for her.

I find her tucked into a corner of the lanai gently rocking back and forth on a glider while she hums to her son while feeding him. The beautiful picture she makes has a lump forming in my throat because I took that from her with Grace. She didn't have any time to enjoy being a mother because she was worried about when I'd take Grace away. But she has no such fear with this child. His father loves her and has married her so she will be able to mother her child and care for him in a way she wasn't able to with Grace.

"Danni?" I step up onto the lanai and lean against one of the pillars with my hands in my pockets. "Can we talk?"

She looks up and I see the old fear in her eyes; fear that I'm going to take Grace away again. "What can I do for you, Stan?"

"May I?" I indicate one of the chairs placed at a ninety degree angle to where she's sitting. When she nods, I sit down and clasp my hands between my knees. "First, let me say that you look beautiful today. Being in love really agrees with you."

She flashes me one of her gorgeous smiles and removes her son from her nipple, tucking her breast back into her dress and lifting him to her shoulder so she can burp him. "Thank you."

"I just want to tell you that you are a great mother and I am so sorry for everything I did to you. I have no excuse for my treatment of you. You're my daughter's mother and as such you deserve the utmost respect. I won't hold it against you if you hate me for the rest of our lives."

She chuckles softly. "Oh, Stanley. You don't get it, do you? I haven't hated you for a long time now. I was just hurt over the way you treated me for something I had no control over."

"And Steve?"

Her eyebrows climb her forehead. "I can't speak for my husband but he takes his cues from me when it comes to dealing with you."

I nod. "The ceremony was lovely. Thank you for letting me attend."

"You're welcome. Grace wanted our whole ohana here."

"You consider me part of your ohana?"

She scoots closer and places one hand on my arm. "Of course I do. You are Grace's father, Stan. No one can take that from you."

"Thank you." My throat is tight, making it difficult to get the words out. "You should know that I never stopped loving you and I had been thinking of proposing before you told me you were pregnant."

That obviously surprises her. "I still love you, too. Just not the same way. And why didn't you propose?"

I shake my head. "I don't know. I was thrown when you told me." I lift my hands and shrug. "I kinda wish I had. Only I feel like if I had we'd be getting divorced now and you'd still be here, with Steve."

"You think?" She rubs the back of her son's head and kisses it.

I nod. "I do, yeah. You and I… We aren't for each other. You and Steve…" I look out over the crowd gathered and find Steve standing a few feet away, laughing with some people I don't know. "You're perfect for each other." I look back at her. "And I couldn't be happier for you. If you can't be happy with me than I'm glad it's with him."


End file.
